Vegans. Yeah, right. Many vegans are so pompous that the mere act of breathing will be enough to set them off, but for the rest here are some meat-laden tips to make them feel worse while you feel better. Why? Because it’s Evil Week, and because meat.
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10. Buy them a leather jacket
9. Add milk to their tea
8. Suggest that the same picture would be used for “vegan” and “virgin” in an illustrated dictionary
7. Dress as Lady Gaga for Halloween
6. Loudly proclaim “If we were meant to drink soymilk, beans would have udders”
5. Stage a surprise birthday party for them at KFC
4. Confuse them with a fruitarian
3. Replace their Twitter avatar with a meat platter
2. Tell everyone’s favourite vegan joke: “How do you find a vegan at a dinner party? Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.”
1. Two words: real bacon
This post is part of our Evil Week series at Lifehacker, where we look at the dark side of getting things done. Knowing evil means knowing how to beat it, so you can use your sinister powers for good. Want more? Check out our evil week tag page.