Some kids are complete bastards. This is something every parent can agree on (just not about their own, natch.) And yet, social etiquette often requires you to invite these mischief-making terrors to your own child's birthday party. Here's a simple pass-the-parcel hack that will destroy their very soul...
Crying urchin picture from Shutterstock
In today's mollycoddling PC climate, most games of pass-the-parcel involve placing a small gift behind each and every wrapping. This is a bad idea for several reasons. Firstly, it eliminates suspense from the game and any element of chance. Secondly, it forces you to buy ten to 20 crappy novelty toys instead of one. And finally, it causes each kid to get distracted and stop playing the moment they've unwrapped their own prize.
Back in the early 1980s, the unfurling of each layer acted as a nail-biting countdown to a single, ultimate treasure. Only one child would reign triumphant. There could be no second prize. It was a harsh but ultimately more fulfilling time and children grew up all the better for it.
We think parents should return to the single prize tradition, but with a significant twist -- keep the final box completely empty, and rig the music so it lands on a kid you hate.
This way, instead of one happy kid and a bunch of disappointed ones, you'll have the reverse! As an added bonus, the kid left holding the empty box will deserve everything he gets. That'll teach you to mess with my limited-edition video games, buster! Honestly, it's a wonder I haven't been nominated for parent of the year or something.
This post is part of our Evil Week series at Lifehacker, where we look at the dark side of getting things done. Knowing evil means knowing how to beat it, so you can use your sinister powers for good. Want more? Check out our evil week tag page.