How Did You Handle The Sudden Loss Of A Loved One?

How Did You Handle The Sudden Loss Of A Loved One?

People we love leave us too soon. That’s a given. It’s even harder when the death is unexpected — a child dies or a seemingly healthy person in his or her prime. As hard as it may be to revisit, sharing how you coped with an early death could help others in their grieving.

Picture: koya979 (Shutterstock)

In a heartbreaking post, Adriana Velez writes about losing her friend before she could say goodbye. She writes:

The day won’t stand still just because I miss my friend. But I think it’s time to pay attention. Pay attention to your health, to the little things that seem off. Mums, we’re awfully busy, and it’s hard to make time for ourselves and give our bodies the attention they need. But we all want to stick around, for ourselves and for our families. An early death is inevitable for some of us, though, so pay attention to that breeze brushing your cheek, the freedom of your arms swinging as you walk.

Pay attention to your loved ones, your children, your friends. Especially your oldest friends, the ones we think will be around forever just because it seems like they’ve always been there. No one is a permanent part of your life.

I guess that’s the best takeaway when something like this happens. If you have any other words of wisdom for coping, we’d love to hear them.

My Friend Died Before I Could Say Goodbye [Cafe Mum]


  • I lost both my parents a week after my 18th birthday – they were 38 and 39.

    My whole family told me I should defer my first year of uni to try and get through it, but I point-blank refused, and in the end, I was right. I threw myself into uni three months later, and it was a welcome break from lawyer visits (they died without a will), Centrelink chats, and people looking at me with pity.

    I still get upset about it (it’ll be 7 years this December), and it’s always hard because people my age inevitably ask, “What about your parents?” It’s also hard to think about all they’ll miss – if I get married, if I have kids, etc.

    But I think throwing myself headlong into uni, while I didn’t get the best grades (note: I am also pretty lazy) helped me cope with what will most likely be the most difficult time of my life.

    My one piece of advice, though, would be – ask for help if you need it. Don’t bottle it all up or try and cope completely on your own if you don’t want to.

    Also, this article pretty much sums up exactly how it feels to lose both parents:

  • I lost my best friend of 25 years on 2nd January this year. I always thought we’d be there for each other until our faces were wrinkled and our heads bald or grey. He was like a brother to me and always wished he was even when he was here.

    Unfortunately he lived a busy life, took little care of his health, ate out a lot (especially when travelling a lot overseas because of his job) and was a heavy smoker. I begged him each time I saw him since 2000 to stop smoking. He didnt. And when away on holidays in Queensland he had a heart attack while swimming in the sea and drowned. By the time people found him he was pretty pale. He left behind a young wife and two young children, both of whom didnt really understand what happened to their father even after seeing his lifeless body in an open casket at his home. That day was the worst day of my life. I cried for them and for me and its a loss I just cannot get over. Especially since it was my first encounter with death up close and personal. Nothing heals the wound of a loved one dying. Not even time.

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