One Bic Mac. Two Mighty Angus patties. One horribly abused stomach.
Last month, we taste-tested the McDonald’s “Noah’s Ark” burger: a bespoke butcher’s nightmare consisting of battered chicken, a beef patty and bacon. As we noted at the time, this greasy concoction went down a treat — but was somewhat less pleasant at the opposite end. (For those requiring further elucidation, we’ll leave you with this “classic” scene from Dumb and Dumber.)
Having semi-recovered from my meat violation, it’s time to push this sticky envelope even further into the bowels of hell. Why? Because you readers seem to like it.
Yesterday, I ordered a customised Angus Big Mac burger comprising two full Angus beef patties crammed into a meatless Big Mac. The total price came to a reasonable $6, which is around the same price as an Angus burger with only one meat patty.
Here’s what the burger looks like:
As you can see, this is a hugely intimidating feast that isn’t for the feint of heart or narrow of stomach. The Angus patties are literally overflowing out of the bun like some kind of sentient jack-in-the-box hellbent on attacking you vital organs from within. Body-horror maestro David Cronenberg should totally snap up the movie rights to it.
As you can probably glean from the above photo, this was too much meat for me (indeed, I suspect it’s too much meat for anybody). I barely got through half the burger.
The abundance of beef also detracted from McDonald’s classic Bic Mac sauce — the primarily flavours were grease and heavily processed cheese.
It’s been a good 15 hours since I partook in this monstrosity and I still feel a bit queasy to be honest.
While surprisingly affordable, the McDonald’s Angus Big Mac isn’t a meal I would recommend to any carnivorous animal, especially humans. Order at your own risk.
Think you can top the Noah’s Ark burger or Big Mac Angus? [contact text=”Send in”] your own customised takeaway creations and we’ll publish the best ones in a followup article!