One Bic Mac. Two Mighty Angus patties. One horribly abused stomach.
Last month, we taste-tested the McDonald's "Noah's Ark" burger: a bespoke butcher's nightmare consisting of battered chicken, a beef patty and bacon. As we noted at the time, this greasy concoction went down a treat — but was somewhat less pleasant at the opposite end. (For those requiring further elucidation, we'll leave you with this "classic" scene from Dumb and Dumber.)
Having semi-recovered from my meat violation, it's time to push this sticky envelope even further into the bowels of hell. Why? Because you readers seem to like it.
Yesterday, I ordered a customised Angus Big Mac burger comprising two full Angus beef patties crammed into a meatless Big Mac. The total price came to a reasonable $6, which is around the same price as an Angus burger with only one meat patty.
Here's what the burger looks like:
As you can see, this is a hugely intimidating feast that isn't for the feint of heart or narrow of stomach. The Angus patties are literally overflowing out of the bun like some kind of sentient jack-in-the-box hellbent on attacking you vital organs from within. Body-horror maestro David Cronenberg should totally snap up the movie rights to it.
As you can probably glean from the above photo, this was too much meat for me (indeed, I suspect it's too much meat for anybody). I barely got through half the burger.
The abundance of beef also detracted from McDonald's classic Bic Mac sauce — the primarily flavours were grease and heavily processed cheese.
It's been a good 15 hours since I partook in this monstrosity and I still feel a bit queasy to be honest.
While surprisingly affordable, the McDonald's Angus Big Mac isn't a meal I would recommend to any carnivorous animal, especially humans. Order at your own risk.
Think you can top the Noah's Ark burger or Big Mac Angus? Send in your own customised takeaway creations and we'll publish the best ones in a followup article!