Dear Lifehacker, When women exercise and lose weight, their breasts sometimes get smaller as a result of the loss. Conversely, weight gain makes their breasts larger. I want to know: if men lose weight, will it make you lose weight from your penis/testes? Conversely, would a gain increase the size? Thanks, Questionably-Hung Geek
Measurement picture from Shutterstock
We attempted to get a science expert to answer this question but none of them would return our calls, which should give you an indication of how absurd it is. (To put this into perspective, we managed to get a detailed response on whether eating boogers and ear wax is good for you.)
In short, your penis is one muscle that you can't bulk up with exercise: whether you gain weight or lose it, your genitals will stay the same size and shape. The fatty tissue in breasts really has no bearing to this question -- they're hardly homologous organs, after all. Outside of cosmetic surgery, you're basically stuck with the size your genes dealt you.
That said, an exercise regime that results in significant weight loss will probably make your junk look more impressive due to a tighter stomach and surrounding groin area. It will only be an optical illusion, but it's better than nothing.
We also hear that "manscaping" your pubic area can make things look bigger, although do try not to go overboard: there are few things more ridiculous looking than completely bald male genitals.