We usually come down pretty hard on excessively fatty takeaway meals at Lifehacker — as a recent IHME study has shown, despite the recent exercise boom people are still getting fatter the world over. Sometimes however, you need to throw caution to the wind, unfasten your belt and treat yourself to a decadent orgy of fast food. This is where McDonald's "Noah's Ark" Burger comes in: arguably the finest creation by God or man.
Earlier in the week, we ran a post about McDonald's new Hunger Deal which packs around 6800 kilojoules into a meal for one comprising a Big Mac, a cheeseburger, a medium fries, a medium Coke and an apple pie or chocolate sundae.
We thought this was pretty excessive, but Lifehacker reader "mrjezza" proved us wrong in the comments section. If you really want to go the whole hog (and cow and chicken) you need to create your own burger. Behold the McDonald's "Noah's Ark":
My greatest McDonalds creation was the Noah's Ark - aptly named because you needed a cow, a pig and a chicken to make it happen. You started with a Double Beef & Bacon and added the chicken breast fillet from whatever the chicken burger was called back then.
Unfortunately the burger where the fillet came from isn't on the menu anymore but it may be worth trying it with a McChamp patty because not a single person that I shared the Noah's Ark with didn't want another one.
We've eaten some oversized burgers in our time, but this thing sounds ridiculous. Nevertheless, we felt it was our duty to taste-test mrjezza's processed food menagerie for our readers.
We headed to our local McDonald's and sheepishly asked if it was possible to combine meat patties into a single burger. Without batting an eyelid, the cashier explained that we needed to start with a burger from the menu and could then add whatever we wanted to it for an additional charge. Apparently, they must get these requests often.
We decided to plump for a Mighty Angus burger which already came with the bacon and added a McChamp chicken patty. (We contemplated tossing a Fillet o Fish on top, but thought better of it.)
The total cost of this standalone burger was a rather steep $9.95 — the same price as the aforementioned Hunger Deal. Adding a drink and fries would presumably push the total to around $15.
If we had to describe the Noah's Ark burger in one word it would be a tossup between "meaty" and "awesome". Against our expectations, the abundance of processed meats actually complement each other superbly in both flavour and texture. For an extra 1000kj or so, you're actually getting a burger that doesn't taste horribly bland.
When it comes to extremely guilty pleasures, we'd definitely rate the Noah's Ark burger as a treat that you need to experience at least once in your life. Unless you're a vegetarian, obviously.
UPDATE: Having just returned from the toilet, I no longer feel able to recommend this meal to readers of Lifehacker.
Think you can top mrjezza's Noah's Ark burger? Send in your own customised takeaway creations and we'll publish the best ones in a followup article!