Don’t Let Your Abilities Affect Your Enjoyment Of New Activities

Nobody likes being bad at things, but if you’re doing something you enjoy, try not to let it bother you. In fact, embracing your lack of ability can make activities more enjoyable.

Photo by QZAP – Photo archive.

Stephanie Stern at The Billfold loves to sing, but she’d be the first to admit that she’s not good at it. However, by embracing her skill level, she finds more enjoyment in the activity:

There are things that we’re not good at doing that genuinely make us feel bad. This isn’t about that. Pick something to be bad at that doesn’t tie to your identity or self-worth. We spend all day judging ourselves about so many things. But when I say that I am bad at singing, to me, this feels like a neutral assessment of my singing abilities (and my teacher would certainly agree). I am not judging myself — I am not a bad person, nor any less wonderful because I happen to be a bad singer. Being a good singer is not core to my identity, and I have no expectations that I will be good at it, nor do I need any validation (from myself or others) about this part of me.

She points out that being bad at something you enjoy, and being comfortable with your abilities, can be incredibly freeing. We spend enough of our time trying to be better at our jobs, at raising kids, at saving money, that sometimes it’s nice to just have a hobby that we aren’t invested in being great at.

This isn’t to say that you can’t get better or learn new skills, but it’s is a good reminder that hobbies can be more fun when we don’t set benchmarks or expectations.

How To Enjoy Being Bad at Something [The Billfold]