Are You Young/Hip Enough To Eat Donut King’s Amazeballs?

Most food companies carefully market their products to appeal to as many customers and age groups as possible in a bid to maximize sales. Sometimes however, the ‘obnoxious hipster’ demographic is considered sufficient. Introducing the Donut King Amazeballs…

Amazeballs are warmed donut balls filled with a choice of choc orange or apple cinnamon. This normally wouldn’t be worthy of mention, but that name is like a red rag to a bull.

“Who would “LIKE” to try our new Amazeballs?,” Donut King unsubtly asks on its Facebook page. “Trust us when we say they’re Totes Amazeballs”.

Perhaps we’re just getting cantankerous in our old age, but we object to buying something named after one of the most obnoxious, English-butchering phrases that has ever assaulted our ears. Popularised by gen Y blogger Perez Hilton, “amazeballs” is a portmanteau of “amazing” and “balls” which is supposed to signify something super amazing. (We’re not sure whether the balls refer to testicles or nondescript spherical orbs — neither of which we’d class as especially amazing.)

It’s the type of consciously “hip” phrasing that makes me want to return to English teaching just so I can bash 14-year old hipsters around the necks with my Macquarie Dictionary (comprehensive edition, natch).

The Amazeballs products also come bundled with a temporary tattoo and QR code which lets you play an Augmented Reality donut game.

“In addition to in-game fun, players can also share their experience and top score with friends via social media and watch the Amazeballs television commercial,” Donut King cheerfully explains. Clearly, if you’re over the age of 12 and don’t suffer from brain damage, the company isn’t interested in your business.

The Amazeballs are available for purchase from all Donut King outlets across Australia for $1.70 each or in a pack of 4 for $5.00. The Apple Cinnamon Amazeball has a kilojoule count of 603kj while the Choc Orange version comes in at 656kj.

See also: Justin Bieber’s Writing Is A Terrible Example For His Fans To Emulate


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