Everyone loves satire, right? The Onion and The Daily Show are so popular because we all need a little palate-cleansing humour in our daily news stream. Walt Mosspuppet offers the same: a parodic spin on tech journalism in the form of a curmudgeonly, hilariously un-self-aware puppet.
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Current gig: being the only tech journalist in the world
Current mobile device: a retro iPhone 4S
Current computer: a retro first-generation MacBook Retina
One word that best describes how you work: amazingly
What apps/software/tools can’t you live without?
I like Reeder, because it gives me a list of news that angers me. Google Talk/Google Hangouts, because they let me yell at people who anger me. Cashews, because they’re tasty.
What’s your workspace like?
I’ve got a standing desk in a glorious studio, and I’m flanked on all sides by my awards, which are too numerous to count, photograph or verify the existence of. I’ve got lots of awards. Hoo boy, I’ve got a bunch. I believe the technical term is “oodles”.
At the back of my studio is a recording space with my comfy chair setup, where I sit luxuriously atop a throne of vanquished idiots, like REDACTED, REDACTED and REDACTED.
Pictured above: Mosspuppet in his comfy chair.
What’s your best time-saving trick?
I try not to fact-check. It takes so much time to do, and since I’m always right anyway, it’s a waste.
What’s your favourite to-do list manager?
I’ve been using Wunderlist for months, but in a recent update they made it so that the “Today” smartlist doesn’t sort by date anymore, which is incredibly infuriating. They’re dead to me, at least for the moment. Right now I’m trying out Any.DO, which hasn’t disappointed me yet, so it’s good.
But if Any.DO gets in my way…
Besides your phone and computer, what gadget can’t you live without?
I got a pair of Jaybird Bluebuds X Bluetooth exercise headphones. They’re amazing, and I use them almost everyday at the gym. (Yes, I work out. Shut up. I’ve got a new hip to break in.) The Bluebuds have great sound, they’re sweatproof, and they don’t fall out of your ears when you’re jumping around.
What everyday thing are you better at than anyone else?
One thing I’m not great at is picking just one thing I’m great at. That’s a tough question. Is being correct an answer I can use? Being better at understanding tech than anyone else? Yeah, let’s go with that: I’m better at technology journalist-ing than anybody in the world.
Pictured above: Mosspuppet’s studio.
What do you listen to while you work?
Most of the time if I’m listening to music it’s my exercise playlist, because I need to keep UP, UP, UP. So, uh, Macklemore, Eminem, Psy, Queen, Mat & Kim and Saul Williams. Deal with THAT eclectic list!
Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
I’m both, I think. That’s what I tell myself, anyway, and since I established earlier that I’m always right, I’m both.
What’s your sleep routine like?
I sleep for only two hours a night, suspended upside down in an anti-gravity harness. I saw Michael Keaton do it in the 1989 Batman movie and have been doing it myself ever since. Oh man, that movie was awesome. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Fill in the blank: I’d love to see _______ answer these same questions.
Chris Hardwick? He’s pretty cool. A little on the nerdy side though.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
This town needs an enema! Oh, sorry, I was still thinking about Batman. The best advice I’ve ever received was to never forget that you’ll die one day. Your life is fleeting and brief, so do everything you can with it.
That said, I’m like, 147, so that advice apparently doesn’t apply to me.
Is there anything else you want to tell readers?
If you have stock in Apple, sell it now! Not because the company’s going downhill or going to start losing money. The stock’s value will continue to slide, because stockbrokers are panicky, short-attention-having dingbats who exist on hype. Plus, you know, the stock market is just a shared delusion with no real objective value.
Also: shut up.
We’ve asked a handful of heroes, experts and flat-out productive people to share their shortcuts, workspaces and routines. Every week we’ll feature a new guest and the gadgets, apps, tips and tricks that keep them going. Want to suggest someone we should feature or questions we should ask? Let us know.