Burger King Launches ‘Hands-Free’ Feedbag For Humans

Burger King patrons in the US can now enjoy their Whopper hands-free with an official nose bag contraption that allows them to gorge on their burger like a horse. We weep for humanity’s future.

“In a multitasking world, how can we help people use their hands to do their everyday chores and enjoy their Whopper at the same time?” Burger King asks on its website. Apparently, the answer involves stripping away all semblance of dignity by strapping a human feedbag to your face.

The Hands Free Whopper is a plastic burger holster that straps around your neck like one of those harmonica contraptions favoured by Bob Dylan. (That’s a golden marketing angle they missed right there — they could have got him to croon the Burger King jingle in-between greasy bites.)

Surely this is a joke, right? According to a Buzzfeed article, these hands-free burger holders were given to 50 loyal Burger King customers so they apparently do really exist. There’s also a Hands Free Whopper website and a video on Burger King’s official YouTube channel. If it is all a joke, they sure went to a lot of trouble considering it’s not even April Fools Day.

I have to admit that a Hands Free Whopper would make life easier while typing out Takeaway Truth articles. However, the total loss of my humanity probably wouldn’t be worth it.

You can watch the YouTube video in all its awful glory below.

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