Burger King patrons in the US can now enjoy their Whopper hands-free with an official nose bag contraption that allows them to gorge on their burger like a horse. We weep for humanity’s future.
“In a multitasking world, how can we help people use their hands to do their everyday chores and enjoy their Whopper at the same time?” Burger King asks on its website. Apparently, the answer involves stripping away all semblance of dignity by strapping a human feedbag to your face.
The Hands Free Whopper is a plastic burger holster that straps around your neck like one of those harmonica contraptions favoured by Bob Dylan. (That’s a golden marketing angle they missed right there — they could have got him to croon the Burger King jingle in-between greasy bites.)
Surely this is a joke, right? According to a Buzzfeed article, these hands-free burger holders were given to 50 loyal Burger King customers so they apparently do really exist. There’s also a Hands Free Whopper website and a video on Burger King’s official YouTube channel. If it is all a joke, they sure went to a lot of trouble considering it’s not even April Fools Day.
I have to admit that a Hands Free Whopper would make life easier while typing out Takeaway Truth articles. However, the total loss of my humanity probably wouldn’t be worth it.
You can watch the YouTube video in all its awful glory below.
Comments
18 responses to “Burger King Launches ‘Hands-Free’ Feedbag For Humans”
We NEED this in Australia!
I would definitely get a tattoo from some guy eating a burger.
Though all I can think of is the epic amount of spillage – and Whoppers have a whole lotta juice. Bibs included?
Coming soon to your local IT department.
You can’t hear ‘Hello, IT’ through the bun.
Have you *munch* turn it *munch* off *munch* and on *nom nom* again?
I know it’s not really meant to be taken seriously, but I still don’t see the point. If you’re hungry, you should be able to down one of these burgers in about a minute or so. If you’re trying to eat it with one of these silly contraptions while multitasking, it’s going to take 10 times as long and you’re only partially focused on the task at hand, which is apparently so important, you can’t take 2 mins away from it to eat.
Eating quickly like that is actually quite bad for you. If you’re going to eat terrible food, take some time with it – and more over, enjoy it as much as possible.. So that you have to eat it less often to get the same level of enjoyment.
Many props to whomever can get a HJ’s sloppy burger to stay intact well enough to eat out of this thing in the first place.
You’ll notice thats why it has no salad or sauce lol, its just a bun and a patty.
First words out of my coworkers mouth: “I want one!”
My god, I’m craving a Whopper like mad now!
OMFG…?
Releasing the video without any clear indication about whether this is a real thing or not.
Not bad viral marketing at all.
it’s like looking into an ultra corporatist “utopian” future.
Fails both because it highlights how the fast food scum have degraded the human food experience, also because it’s not even original.
http://www.theonion.com/video/new-wearable-feedbags-let-americans-eat-more-move,14238/
I’m sure some day McD will launch a robotic Ronald by taking an inspiration from this, to serve the customers with a special feeding facility for extra bucks.
I’m sorry April fools was two months back. Buy a calendar Hungry Jacks.
I almost barfed when I saw that! This must be a joke. ….and here I’m choosy about my organic food!
[breaking back, straw, camel… it’s all here]
That’s it !!!
I am OUTTA here…
You guys have fun, I’m off to find a NEW planet.
Humans are getting fat, and far more lazy.
All my life I’ve been searching for a solution for drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette and eating a burger whilst driving home from the Dole office in the morning. Try as I might I could never change gear without spilling my beer, dropping my burger or risking terrifying doodle-burn from losing the cigarette in my lap…forcing me to drive all the way home in 1st gear. Heaven forbid the phone ring.
But this is a prayer answered. With this fantastic device round my neck, a ‘Foam Dome’ on my head and a blue tooth earpiece I have one hand free for my ciggy and one for the gear lever. Thank goodness I’ve mastered steering with my knees! Thank you Burger King!!
Why does this author have such a hatred of fast food?
Seriously, were you born in the 50s or something and tricked into thinking fast food was healthy?
In this day if you don’t know fast food isn’t healthy it’s kind of your own fault
Not really though, right? Right?