Dear Lifehacker, I recently got married but have encountered my first challenge to wedded bliss. As much as I try, for the life of me I cannot remember to put the toilet seat down. The repercussions for this apparently heinous act are getting progressively worse. What started as a cheeky dig from the wife has grown into a punishable-by-death offence after a recent late night trip to the bathroom went wrong with her falling in. Any suggestions would be much cheaper then marriage counselling. Thanks, “Currently Living” Husband
Like many men before you, you have just encountered the first steel trap of unholy matrimony — within a year, you will be 100 per cent obedient and (metaphorically) neutered. Enjoy these last gasps of rebellious freedom while they last. Soon, the shimmer of moonlight on an open toilet will be nothing but a distant memory.
Kidding aside, there are actually several good reasons to get into the habit of keeping the toilet seat (and lid) down, ranging from increased cleanliness to child and pet safety. One possible solution to your problem would be to fasten a reminder on the toilet’s inside lid with clear contact paper. (The downside is that any guests who use your toilet will know you’re a scatterbrain with a harridan wife.)
Alternatively, you could try installing a toilet seat lock which are widely available at baby stores (check out an example video here). The act of unfastening the lock will force you to think about the lid, and thus indirectly jog your memory that it needs to be closed.
If any fastidious (or spouse-fearing) readers have a suggestion of their own, feel free to let CCH know in the comments section below.
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