Just like in a car accident, you're at least a little at fault for everything you do simply by going out into the world and interacting with it. It's easy to blame others and see yourself as the victim, but CDBaby founder Derek Sivers suggests that you'll be a lot happier if you take responsibility.
Photo by Willee Cole (Shutterstock).
Consider the advantages of realising that everything is your fault:
This is way better than forgiving. When you forgive, you're still playing the victim, and they're still wrong, but you're charitably pardoning their horrible deeds. But to decide it's your fault feels amazing! Now you weren't wronged. They were just playing their part in the situation you created. They're just delivering the punch-line to the joke you set up. What power! Now you're like a new super-hero, just discovering your strength. Now you're the powerful person that made things happen, made a mistake, and can learn from it. Now you're in control and there's nothing to complain about.
This isn't a strategy you can apply as a paradigm, of course. Considering everything that happens to you as your fault doesn't always work, but with extreme situations excepted, Sivers is correct: you have a lot to gain from taking responsibility for your actions. It gives you an opportunity to learn and see where others are coming from. It's easy to be right when you decide you were wronged, but you have far more happiness to gain when you take responsibility for what you say and do.
Everything is my fault [Derek Sivers]