Use Your Most Painful Experiences To Extract Better Goals

If you’re looking for big change and to set important goals, you may only need to look as far as your most painful experiences. Trent Hamm, writer of personal finance blog The Simple Dollar, looked at his past experiences and found that pulling a goal out of the more painful ones was often successful — as well as a lack of motivation where pain was absent:Photo by Steven Depolo

When I reached my “financial bottom” and realised that something had to change financially in my life, I felt very deeply ashamed. I spent a long night sitting in the baby room, rocking my son and just feeling horrible. I had this strong sense that I was wrecking this baby’s life through my own childishness and inability to manage my own finances and behaviour. It was through that strong sense of failure that I was able to push my goals forward. Whenever I was tempted to backslide, I could draw on the pain of that moment to keep me on the right path. This is a big reason why exercise-related goals have been difficult for me. I have not had a strong emotionally resonant experience that involves my physical shape to this point, so I’ve not had that emotional pool to draw from for physical fitness goals.

We’ve looked at how fear can help make better decisions. Tim Ferriss talks about this process as the Harajuku Moment in his book The 4-Hour Body. Using the bad things in our lives to set meaningful, important goals is a recurring theme. If you want to set some important goals that matter to you, you may want to try looking where it hurts the most.

Five Elements of a Successful Goal (From My Experience) [The Simple Dollar]