Stop Caring About What Others Think, Get Back Your Self-Respect

You often worry family or friends might not approve of something, people are talking about you behind your back, or you might offend someone. If this sounds like you, it’s time to break free and stop giving a [insert expletive] .

Photo by Katelyn Fay

It’s human nature to want to be liked and to seek approval, but when you’re really sensitive to the point where you don’t take a stand out of fear of alienating or offending others, it’s bad for your well-being.

Like many people, author and consultant Julien Smith has spent way too much time caring far too much about what other people think. It’s led him to be “a punching bag — a flighty, nervous wuss”, until recently, and he offers a cure — a complete guide to getting back your self-respect and over caring about what people think about you.

He starts with a few facts: people are judging you right now and there’s nothing you can do about it, you don’t need people to like you, it’s your people that matter, and the people who change the world are the ones who dismiss those obstacles of feeling lonely, disliked or like a loser.

Of course, Smith puts these all much more convincingly and sharply (warning: office filters for language may prevent you from accessing the site). Some key quotes:

But the real problem with Internet haters is that they confirm your paranoid delusion that everyone out there secretly hates you.

Thankfully, that’s not actually true. So the first noble truth is that most people don’t even care that you’re alive. Embrace this, my friends, for it is true freedom. The world is vast and you are small, and therefore you may do as you wish and cast your thoughts of those who dislike it to the side.

…

You may be in a tough place right now where you feel lonely or like a loser. No worries, we’ve all been there. But it’s time for you to realise how common these things are, and that they’re experienced by even the most successful and happiest people in the world. Those people get past them, and you will too.

He also offers five steps for taking back control, including telling it like it is and accepting or dealing with awkwardness. This is more than just about developing a thick skin. It’s about becoming free.

Read the full post linked below to get started. As someone who’s hypersensitive (a nice comment can make my day, a rude one ruin it), I really needed this advice. Tell us your thoughts in the comments (it’s OK, I can take it).

The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck [In Over Your Head]