If you see Facebook as a benevolent timewaster, why not waste your time more efficiently on the site? Hit Alt and your "1" key for the home page, Alt+? to search, Alt+M for a new message. The How-To Geek knows the others.
Aside from Alt+M and Alt+?, most of Facebook's keyboard shortcuts line up with the numbers: Alt+1, Alt+2, and they take you to roughly left-to-right destinations on your Facebook page. The Geek notes, however, that the shortcuts work best in Chrome, and maybe Opera and Safari. In Firefox, you'll need to add a Shift key to the combination, so as not to trigger Firefox's own Alt-centered operations. On Internet Explorer, you'll have to press Enter after hitting each combination.
Did You Know Facebook Has Built-In Shortcut Keys? [How-To Geek]