If you're wasting time reading this right now, you probably need a better job. That means you need a good cover letter. Allow us to give you some tips for success — with counterexamples from an all-too-real hilariously bad cover letter.
A tipster today forwarded us a cover letter they received from an applicant for a digital account manager job. We will use actual lines from that cover letter to help us illustrate the advice below. History need not be repeated.
DO: Make your points succinctly.
DON'T: "I excel in everything that I set out to do. I'm not vain, I just refuse to fail. The word "fail" and its variations are not in my vocabulary."
DO: Say that you follow instructions well.
DON'T: "If my employer gives me a task on Monday and asks for it by Thursday, I will have the project completed by Tuesday. If my employer asks me to contact four distributors for his product, I'll contact 20 distributors."
DO: Explain that you're a dedicated worker.
DON'T: "I don't just think outside the box, I stand on top of it. I aim to appease my employer. If he/she isn't satisfied with my work, I will sweat blood and tears until I get them the result that they are enamoured with. If my employer wants me to be knowledgeable of a certain person, place or thing; I will research that particular subject until I know everything that Google, Lycos, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves and Encyclopedia Britannica has to say about them/it."
DO: Underpromise, overdeliver.
DON'T: "I am a very fast learner and a very dedicated individual and I guarantee that I don't produce anything less than perfection; anything less than one-hundred percent is not acceptable."
DO: Keep any office romances under wraps.
DON'T: "Besides passion, I offer you an individual with four years of intense academic training."
DO: Close by thanking the employer for their time.
DON'T: "I am the missing link that will make your chain complete."