Make Your House Rules Stick

rule_list.jpgDo you find it difficult to get your family members to adhere to your house rules? Blogger and parent Vanessa Van Petten says that you can make your house rules stick by clearly explaining why these rules are in place. "Because I said so" is no longer a sufficient answer. Also, don't cheat. If you're going to create a rule that specifies that you cannot have a snack right before bedtime, don't let your partner or child discover you noshing late at night. You need to abide by the rules too. Additionally, write the rules down on paper to make them be more permanent. Otherwise, they might be "forgotten." Finally, reward those who follow the rules with positive reinforcement. Good behaviour deserves praise. Don't always point out the negatives. Instead, focus on the positive. What are your favorite rule-enforcing strategies? Share your best approaches in the comments.


    Its interesting the difference of opinion on rewards vs punishment. I am not sure if my parents rewards system made me lose my 'intrinsic motivation' but what I can say is this:

    -when my parents imposed serious consequences or told me the rule without explaining it or without reward, I would usually follow it but become angry at my parents and felt like the gap between us was huge and I couldn't wait to get away from them.

    -with incentive based systems, of course, I also usually followed it but was happy with myself because I got the reward and was happy with my parents because they gave me a reward.

    Maybe this made me lack motivation, and it was their house I should follow the rules without having a reward at the end n doubt, but I actually think it helped our relationship and my connection with them, and this is a huge issue for many families. I worry with punishments that it makes teenagers more angry, and that is the last thing anyone needs


    I don't think forcing kids to behave a certain way helps, especially if you have to fight to make it happen. I guess the ideal situation is you encourage them to want to do that behaviour - which sounds like the approach you're describing.
    You made an interesting point, thanks. :)

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