Oh, and the basic things we ask you are really the problem the majority of the time. I'd estimate that the standard fixes work 95 percent of the time or more. But naturally you're some sort of special genius and the laws of probability never apply to you, is that right? We have to start with cancer and work down to the common cold when we see your username on a help desk ticket? I'll be sure to keep that in mind, ma'am. (snortgiggle)

speedwell

I'm going to add a couple more as someone who works in a computer store where we pride ourselves on supporting the stuff we sell:

1. If you're having a problem and you know what the problem is please, for the love of god, _do not_ get your wife (who doesn't know) to call!

You'd be amazed at how often this happens -- "my husband says the modem is broken", "have you tried resetting it?", "hang on... [John, have we tried resetting it?] he says 'yes'"...

I'm a girl. I know women know stuff about computers. But I need to speak to the person who understands the problem in order to fix it.

2. Think about who you need to call. Another favourite I get is "[insert software here] is crashing. It's coming up with some kind of error message. Fix it!" I will _try_ to fix the problem but please do not get mad when I just cannot fix it. Some things just cannot be fixed by the person who sells the box it comes in.

3. _Please_ do not self-diagnose via google. Or do not keep telling me "I read on the internet that it's a manufacturing fault/bug/problem..." You might be right but you might be wrong. You've called me, so humour me while I double check the obvious stuff.

-JC.

jaysee

Tech support people actually punish you for exhausting all options before contacting them with their scripted lists of inane questions which they go through meticulously even when it's crystal clear you've done all the logical things

And do you also think your doctor is punishing you by considering the "logical diagnoses" first? He'd look really fucking stupid if he treated you for stomach cancer when all you did was eat something that disagreed with you for lunch. And we would look like idiots if we overlooked something simple that you overlooked. The only way we can find out if you've done everything obvious is to ask you, bit by bit, if you have done it. Failing to diagnose your issue would be punishing you, not asking you the necessary diagnostic questions.

You, like many other people, expect your diagnostic professionals--doctors, mechanics, tech support people--to read your minds, not fix your problem. Be part of the solution and go along with the process. We have a saying for people like you who refuse to cooperate and then complain when the problem isn't fixed: PEBCAK.

speedwell

Tech support people actually punish you for exhausting all options before contacting them with their scripted lists of inane questions which they go through meticulously even when it's crystal clear you've done all the logical things (like rebooting, running a virus checker, running system tools or utilities, etc.).

I think a lot of the impatience people feel is the result of having their time wasted being asked things like "is the computer plugged in?" I know they have to ask at least some of these questions to ascertain the competence level of the caller, but it gets ridiculous pretty quickly.

Personally, I can't deal with it so I let my less technologically knowledgeable husband handle it. He's the right level to appreciate the lists they make him plod through. Once they're ready to get serious, he hands the phone to me.

ShariC

And here is the classic Internet article from ESR: How To Ask Questions The Smart Way.

Deprong Mori

@speedwell: Simmer down, killer. I don't expect anybody to read my mind, nor do I feel that I am a special genius, but like ShariC, I have felt punished when calling tech support at times. A conversation might go something like this:

"Hi, I'm having an issue with $hardware (complete with model number when warranted), and was hoping you could assist me in resolving this. It $quick-but-detailed-description, and this has been ongoing/recurring since $time. I $step1, $step2, $step3, and $step4 prior to my call, and feel I have exhausted all my options. What else should I try?"

Depending on the company, I may be shuffled to a tier 1 tech who hasn't even used the product, and has no clue what the problem is, but attempts to troubleshoot my issue by searching for keywords that I've used, and offers solutions for completely unrelated issues, or issues that are impossible for me to have (ie: "it's a conflict with $hardware2", which is something I don't HAVE!) Not everybody who works in tech support is good at what they do, or equipped with the ability to do it well.

unravel

Asking the simple questions is always an important thing. For every no power issue the you might come across, half have tried a a known good socket and cable and the other half haven't.

You feel like an idiot asking it, but if you don't ask it it comes to bite you back in the ass.

I do printer support you'll be surprised by the amount of people who come and say their printer will no feed paper and it turns out to be the classic error.

[en.wikipedia.org]

cocomo

@speedwell's attitude of "I'm a genius, you're a moron--don't question me" is exactly what's wrong with tech support. They're either competent people with (ahem) personality issues or total incompetents who don't know anything other than how to read a diagnosis tree off of a computer screen.

You are punished for trying all of the obvious things. When I update drivers, software, reboot, etc. I am usually told, 'Please just try it again' and I end up spending 10-20 minutes totally wasting time because they don't trust that I have actually done these things. I know some people probably don't, but *I* did. Listen to me.

Quickfold

@Quickfold:

A good phone support tech will listen to what you have done at the start of the call, note it and filter out any of those questions.

Troubleshooting tools are there for consistency sake and ensure everyone gets the quickest hardware fix.

Believe it or not but there is a lot of pressure on the support person not to send out parts that will not resolve the issue. They need to as these questions are asked otherwise they face consequences for a misdiagnosed issue.

People need to realise it ain't easy on the other side either.

cocomo

@speedwell: I'm not an M.D. (although I do know someone studying for combined MD/Ph.D. and is nearly done) and I know it.

But I *am* qualified to diagnose my own computer problem and know that it's not my issue.

Even when I explain this and all the troubleshooting steps I've already taken, even if I inform them that am using my Mac (and know it's a modem or network issue, not a problem with my Mac or Windows gaming box), their next request is?

"Okay, let's open up Internet Explorer..."

HELLO? DISCONTINUED YEARS AGO AND NO LONGER INSTALLED OR AVAILABLE!

How can we get better support if the support tech is just an incompetent idiot -- and refuses to transfer you to someone who CAN adequately help you?

Buran

Want better support?

Start by being polite! It goes a long way (since people at the other end of the phone or chat do not get polite customers so often)...

whiskey

How to get better tech support

Step 1: Ask the 12-year old kid across the street. He's not based in India and he isn't bound by call center metrics/policies.

Step 2: Enjoy your newly-fixed computer/internet connection/toaster/whatever.

evslin

@Buran: Okay, you say you are qualified to diagnose your own problem but I have on multiple occasions had to correct people who do networking as a career choice, your not exempt from missing something.

Step one for any customer is to blame the company, the ones who feel qualified that they can are the worst because then they don't listen if it dosen't fit into the preconceived notions they had.

Rob

I find that if you talk to the tech support using a little upper level computer jargon, they realize that you may know what you are talking about and not treat you as a complete computer illiterate.

omureadhaigh

@unravel: I thoroughly enjoyed the usage of perl variables in your comment.

Usually I wind up buying the same sort of stuff I support at work. When I need to get on the phone for personal equipment, usually I will be friendly and also announce all that I've done. 95% of the time they make me redo all of it. Sometimes what I do is just sit there reading my RSS feeds while they tell me to do the same mundane things again like unplug it and plug it back in and crap like that.

Case in point - Dell's website walks you through the SAME stuff they go through on the phone. At the end of the line on the website it tells you to call tech support... then you do it all over again and eventually get your thing (motherboard, power supply, dvd drive, etc) replaced. I even provided the magic number it gave me at the end of the online support and the woman on the phone completely ignored it.

I think yes the road goes both ways but I've been doing my part for years and still get crappy tech support.

JiveMasterT

Sometimes the techs are complete idiots or not even trained. Most people on the other end of that phone really know what they are doing. Unfortunately they have to be able to come to the same conclusion you came to while following company policies. Go figure...

Sure, they may know that your issue doesn't require your computer to be rebooted (for example), but they are screwed into asking.

Be willing to ride it out, answer their questions competently, and you'll find out that when they get to the root of the problem they may even know more than you did.

whitlock

As an ex-tech support agent for 5 years I like to give out my input on this. I often read the articles that PC World or PC Mag write about tech support and how horrible it is or how to get better support. I laugh at those reports because I believe that my ex-colleagues and I did a pretty damn good job but we were still hated by most.

We didn't read scripts when we helped you. We did all our support on our own personal knowledge. I can personally walk someone on most common task blind without the need of scripts or the computer screen in front of me.

I didn't work for a huge company though like Dell or HP. Those companies are the ones that give a bad reputation to tech support with their overseas people, with multiple layers of support and hundreds of products that they sell. Our support was local and within the company not sold off to other company.

Here are some tips for getting good support because about 70% this is what makes the experience bad or longer and you think you are getting the run around.
• Know the product model that you are calling about. People call up and say " I bought your product and its not working". You then spend a certain amount of time figuring out which product you bought. I would often ask do you have the receipt, the box, the original CD included to narrow it down and figure out which product it was. I don't know how many times i would get a call from a customer that just bought the product and would not know what it was. "sir, do you have the box that it came with it?" I would ask and the customer would state the he threw the box away already. You threw the box away!!!! Don't throw the box away people. If you need to return the product you probably won't be able to so. It also helps identify the product If you already installed and its not an external device.
• Know what operating system you have. We only dealt with Windows but at least know whether you have Windows XP or Vista which are the most common versions at the moment.
• Have the CD that came with the device. Although most of the time you probably will download an update, at least have it to know what you originally got and installed. It also helps with identify the product that you got in case you threw the box away.
• Please have some minimal working knowledge on how to open folders and navigate windows. These calls are the life drainers. Baby steps I call them and you know sometimes there is nothing you can do about them. But a person like this will require a lot of time just to teach him how to open a zip file or get to device manager.
• Don't call screaming and cursing; I hang up on you then and so will others. If you are pissed, in a calm manner state that you are angry and frustrated.
• If you trying to get support about a specific product that came as a package or in a machine like a video card or sound card it's probably best that you call the manufacture of the product instead of the computer manufacture like Dell. I'm talking about PCI, PCIe, AGP products not integrated products. Big companies like Dell will make you work hard to get help. Plus their people I'm sorry but they are dumb and it's not their fault. You can't expect them to know every product that they sell, it's better to go straight to the manufacture of the product unless it's a Dell computer problem.
I could go on, but this could help some.

Jnetty

Make sure the switch on your power supply is on.

Apparently that one's pretty common.

Atsumi

@Rob: I don't just "feel" qualified. I am qualified. I will admit that for certain TYPES of problems I need help, but for those that I am qualified to diagnose, I do not expect to be treated like an idiot, I do not expect to be told to do things I have already done, I do not expect to be told to open a program that does not exist on my computer and has not been available for my platform for a long time.

I expect "Okay, thanks, that shows that it's not on your end. Let's start working on our end."

NOT bullshit that instantly tells me that I'm wasting my time, and NOT attempts to justify the aforementioned BS.

I know what I am doing and I will blame the party who is actually at fault. Your response is typical: "Oh, you don't really know what you're doing, so it's your fault anyway."

And you wonder why phone tech support has a bad reputation.

Buran

Here's another tool that may make it easier to interface with tech support folk.

[www.amazon.com]

:D

Zundfolge

@Buran:

HA! You feel qualified still, and you're one of the worst types of customers and most common within the department of the ISP I work for, "It's clearly not on my end because of this, this, and this".

I will admit there is a problem on our end if there is, someone saying "IM QUALIFIED, LISTEN TO ME, ITS YOUR END" is all too common and 94% of the time, its not. I'm not going to just believe you because you say so.

Not to mention if I spoke with you I would say "Open your Internet Browser like Internet Explorer" and most Mac customer give me a scoff and act fairly rude about it, though the key words there were "like Internet Explorer" as in open that program or something similar to it.

I treat my customers all the same, like they are unaware of what they are doing because I go in a specific order while working on my side to find the problem, when I tell you to powercycle the modem I mean to do it then and now, I'm watching statistics on my side and running tests, when I say do this now its because it helps me locate the problem.

Rob

Sometimes I'm more qualified than the tech, sometimes I'm not. Regardless I start from the beginning as if I'm not qualified, because it doesn't necessarily matter who is more experienced; as with many other problems, you often just need another head to doublecheck or brainstorm possibilities. Plus, the tech is dealing with these products' problems regularly, whereas I might focus my energy on the inner workings of my machine only once in a while.

richcreamerybutter

Just want to add one more. If you got the Leopard Launch shirt when you got Mac OS X Leopard on it's opening day, wear that to the Apple Store if you have a problem. The guys there were really nice to me when I did that.

LegosJedi

@Rob:@Buran:

You two fellows should give each other e-hugs.

Tech support is mostly a waste of time, but in the rare instance it isn't, I give you 2 PBR's and smile.

gravitus

I agree with many of you about the tech support being poorly trained. I don't call tech support unless I am desperate and all other options (Google, system restore points, new drivers...) have failed, and so I really only call with major issues. However, I don't bother explaining much about what I've already done since they don't listen. The last time I called, they wanted to take over my computer. I let the guy do it, and though I explained I had downloaded new drivers and done this from the same page he went to, he had to download them too... three times. If he was willing to do the same thing three times, I don't think me doing it twice was a big deal to him.

And no, he didn't fix the problem after 40 minutes. I got a call back from a senior tech a week later. The senior tech told me to contact Windows Vista technical support.

What was the product? A Microsoft wireless mouse.

niolonra

@Buran @Quickfold: As a fellow ex-tech support person, I understand what you're saying but try to understand it from the other side.

First, there's a lot of people who will *say* they've tried something but haven't really. You wouldn't believe the number of calls I took which started with "I've tried X, Y and Z" but then after 25 minutes of diagnostics we try X and it magically fixes the problem. People lie, and frankly it's the people who open with "I'm a network engineer so I know what I'm doing" who make the most obvious mistakes. the ones who start the call swearing and shouting usually caused the problem themselves but can't admit it.

Second, when a tech support person answers the phone, they don't know who you are. You know your tech abilities, but the tech support agent doesn't. That's one of things about the job - one minute you can be talking to someone who knows what they're doing but missed something, the next they're having to spend 10 minutes explaining the concept of a right-hand mouse button. A good tech will be able to tell which side of the fence you're on in a few seconds but it's not always obvious so they assume you have zero knowledge until you prove otherwise. That actually causes a lot more problems than assuming knowledge.

Finally, let's remember that these are people in call centres. The people who run those places thrive on pointless metrics, which often determine pay grade. So, a script needs to be followed. The person you're talking to might not like it but it may need to be done. For example, when I was working in the UK, I missed a £1800 pay rise because I didn't run through a 10-second sign-off message at the end of a £1/min call. The problem was fixed, the customer happy but that didn't mean as much as running through the script. Many of those companies prefer people with average tech skills but good talking skills to people with perfect tech skills but lower communication abilities. They actually prefer you to be talked to nicely than have your problem fixed. Strange but true.

@Buran: You come across as extremely arrogant here. If you're like this during calls, it's no wonder you have problems. If you act like that on the phone, the first instinct of the person talking to you will be to get rid of you ASAP. It's amazing how much further you can get by talking to the person on the other end like they're an intelligent human being (above comments notwithstanding). For example:

"HELLO? DISCONTINUED YEARS AGO AND NO LONGER INSTALLED OR AVAILABLE!"

Maybe that person is perfectly qualified but has spent the last 7 hours talking to Windows users and said IE out of habit. I know I've accidentally said "right-click" to Mac users over the year - it's called a mistake and it's a sign you're talking to a human being. Not a sign of competence.

aphexbr

@Rob: The problem with the Mac thing is one I hate usually because I had to specifically ask for non-Windows support thanks to the voice automated shit, and then they put a Windows tech on the line who wants me to do "tracert" on my Linux/Mac box. And then I tell/paste them traceroute results and they flip out cause the output looks different. And things like that. I've had that happen with Time Warner..I've had something like that happen with Logitech multiple times, and so on. Why even pretend to have Mac support when you don't. Or why can't they usually comprehend that you use whatever it is on more than one OS and it still has the same problem?

@ShariC: I disagree. I know why they are asking those questions. It seems like a waste of my time to repeat something I've already done before, but it's because even if I were experienced enough to do it I could have forgotten or done it incorrectly. As long as they don't drag it out and we quickly go through the list without repeating anything I won't really care. In fact, I'll appreciate it all the more. It's only when the tech on the phone is a complete dimwit and it's the third time I'm being told to do this about the same issue that I'll start getting pissed off. Usually along the line if it's not something easily fixed, they usually understand by the end that I'm not just another computer illiterate person and things go so well. Even if in the end it's a nonfixable hardware issue and I'm being shipped a replacement.

@speedwell: I don't like your tone, but I'd agree. In fact, I'd liken it to that MD who was in the new yorker one day for coming up with ICU checklists of no-brainers to cut down on infections and made a very noticeable impact. Some of these things are total no-brainers but we as humans forget/ignore to do these! It doesn't matter who we are. FFS I am a total geek and I code and I have a CCNA and I'd like to consider myself to not be entirely stupid, but sometimes I miss the most obvious things.



I'll have to make a sidenote that I've spent my entire life providing tech support to way too many people. I have no idea how some of them get so pissed off at me for asking them to double-check if they did something simple. Most of the time it actually is something simple they forgot to do but said that they did, and well, if they were particularly mad about me wasting their time they usually leave with a "sorry" and a beet red face.

crazylady

@LegosJedi: Ughhh, bane of my existence. The geniuses now are complete morons, I miss the old Apple Stores.

Last time I had a MacBook issue with Leopard not installing correctly (read: I ended up doing something like target disk mode with another computer to install it because the DVD wasn't booting on the laptop). I went there coincidentally wearing my WWDC shirt with my Apple Developer Connection mailing packet that came with a copy of Leopard that wouldn't boot and the retard who "helped" me asked me some unbelievably ridiculous questions (like questioning my ability to boot up Leopard installer correctly even though I just did it for his benefit because he was too busy typing away on the MBP in front of him) and then in the end refused to help me out saying I managed to install it anyway, even though it was a complete hackjob by someone who knew something about the many ways to do a Leopard install without inserting the DVD into the target computer.

To date, my MacBook still won't boot any Leopard DVDs.

crazylady

None of the steps mentioned here will get better help from tech support works. Looks like the author of this article has never tried to get tech support. The tech support staff is instructed to ask you to perform a series of steps, no matter if you have already completed these steps and have supplied the information to the tech support person in advance. Some of these steps are totally moronic and have nothing even remotely to do with the problem at hand.

Case in point. I recently chatted with a HP online tech. The issue at hand was that I have a HP DV6000 laptop which does not boot from a 4GB USB stick. I had tested the USB stick with 3 other laptops and it booted fine. This rules out any problem with the USB stick. I tested with all 3 USB ports on my DV6000 laptop but it did not not boot. I had set the boot sequence in BIOS to boot from USB. The USB ports were working fine because they were able to recognize the USB stick when plugged in. This rules out any faulty hardware or settings.

I provided all this information to the tech at the beginning of chat. He still continued to ask "have you tried all 3 ports?", "is there a yellow ! mark against any USB device in device manager?" After harassing me for half hour with pointless information, he finally pointed me to some HP utility which failed to resolve the problem. I gave up.

When I go to a car shop, I expect the technician to know more than me about the car. If he asks me to wait while he searches on Google, I would never go to him. Unfortunately, most tech support staff are not trained on the products they support. Some have never seen the product. When I call, they are just searching through a knowledge base. They have no clue what they are telling me to do. It is pathetic and it will continue to be so.

arungupta

@Rob:
I have NEVER once had a tech support person say, "Open your Internet Browser LIKE Internet Explorer"
...never.
Its either "open up IE" or "open your browser", depending on the company of course.
I have had tech support from Verizon, in India, sound completely ASTOUNDED that I do not even posess IE on my mac. The tech really didn't know where to go with the call after that.
The sub-par treatment I got from their tech support is part of the reaon I left them for Speakeasy. Never looked back and have never been asked to open IE since...

veronykah

Oh, and tech support is just a process of elimination. If you've tried something already and we ask you to do it again, it shouldn't take too long to get it done. Please don't refuse to do it, because it sounds like a PEBKAC/ID 10-T(read: idiot) error.
For example, if you know for a fact that the problem is not your router, then you shouldn't have a problem bypassing it so that we can isolate the piece(s) of equipment that caused the problem.

rabiddachshund

My supervisor sent me this:

+ Watch video

As an internet tech support agent, my request to you is that you do not touch the damn thing until you call us. You're paying my salary whether you call me or not, so put me to work fixing the easy stuff instead of backtracking through your bullshit.

That being said, I completely understand that there are competent customers out there and if I think that you really know what you're doing, I'll skip the checklist. But if I tell you to click the start menu and you say "what's that" I'm going to assume you're a moron and try hard not to treat you as such.

My favorite customers are the ones that don't understand why it's broken because I get to use the analogy "Computers are like cars; they break down occasionally and just because you bought it yesterday doesn't mean it hasn't been sitting on the lot for the past 3 years." Last month I even had someone try to convince me that they bought a computer with Win2k installed. It was from their friend down the street, but he says it's brand new. Psh.

rabiddachshund

@aphexbr: When I say something, I have done it. And you can right-click on Macs now and that's been so for a while -- and even when I explain I'm on a Mac and don't have IE, I've been asked to open IE!

Buran

@Rob: You're an example of why tech support is such shit. How many times does it have to be told that some people do know what the hell they are doing for it to sink into that brain of yours and throw that damn script in the trash?

Buran

Oh, and goddamnit:
! =/= explanation point
\ == backslash
/ == forward slash
: == colon
; == semicolon.
when I say "C:\resetlog.txt, no spaces." do not type "C;/ reset log dot text"
Most people forget basic English when they pick up the phone (assuming they even knew it in the first place).

rabiddachshund

As someone who does a lot of tech support, there are several reasons to ask you to go through steps you said you have already tried:

1. People don't always do what they say they did, and even when they have, they may not have been paying attention. I can't count the number of calls that have gone something like this:
Customer: My computer won't turn on
Me: OK, can you make sure its plugged in?
Customer: I've already done that.
Me: Ok, can you try it again for me, and make sure its connected firmly.
Customer: Fine. Hold on
Customer a minute or two later: okitsworkingnowbye. Click.

2. Sometime when I have people go through the steps they have already tried I come across information that was overlooked when they did it:
Customer: Windows won't boot up. I've already tried rebooting and it still gets stuck.
Me: Ok, can you try rebooting it again and tell me what happens?
Customer: Ok, I turn it on, I click through that message, and then Windows gets stuck just like I told you.
Me: Click through the message?
Customer: Yeah--the one that says intelasafe hard drive detects critical failure. Its been saying that for weeks though....

Going through these basic steps should not take too much time though, especially if the user does know what they are doing.

And while I may ask you to go through some of the steps with me, I'm still very happy to hear what you've already done. IT makes it a lot easer for me to know where to pay attention and to start thinking about my next steps.

Another tip for getting good support: In addition to giving a good description of the problem (as may people have described above) its also helpful to describe what should be happening when every thing works correctly, especially for complex problems or less common features/products. This can help prevent a lot of confusion and can provide clues about what the problem may actually be.

nalyd

@Buran: Wow, you're aggressive! If I ever got a call from you, I'd tell you to calm down or I'd hang up the phone.

How many times do people have to remind you that no matter if you tell Tech Support you know what you're doing, they can't simply trust you on that. They've been told the same thing either by clueless idiots before, or by people who, while they did know what they were doing, forgot a crucial step.

People expect tech support to have a magical "fix people's issue" button, or secret internal manuals with voodoo fixes for your problems that ABSOLUTELY CAN'T GET INTO PUBLIC HANDS. Most of the time, it's only a matter of running through very basic troubleshooting. I'd say 90% of calls are simply logical thinking, knowing what the hardware is (not how it was built, mind you, just knowing the name to google for), and basic troubleshooting. Everyone think their issue is in the other 10%.

---

As to the subject of the article... I work for a IT support company (for professional customers, not general public), and sometimes I am required to do off-hours "call-center" work for mother company (general public). I think one of the most important thing someone about to call his computer manufacturer has to know is the difference between hardware and software.

We built the computer. We didn't make Windows. We don't supply you with your internet access. We didn't design your favorite game. (I've actually had a call from a user who was trying to patch World of Warcraft, if you can believe that!)

We simply built the computer.

Also, something else to remember is that technical support is here to help you fix problems with something they built/programmed. They're not here to teach you how to use it, or administer it properly.

If you need to know how to use an option, how to set something up, I suggest you take a class, buy a book, ask someone else to teach you how to do it. When you buy a hammer, you don't call the hammer company to ask them how to build a house, right?

Another tip; if you're calling a 24/7 tech support line for a small or middle-sized company; call during working hours. Large companies will route you to a call center anyway, but smaller ones will have knowledgeable people working during the day, and route to another call center for the shitty shifts; for two reasons. First, good LOCAL people willing to work those shifts are rare and cost more to hire. And second, these people are a waste to put on only one small contract, so they won't be as knowledgeable about the specific product you're interested in.

Guizzy

The last time I called a tech support line was about 8 years ago. My reason for calling was because the driver disc, that came with my newly purchased Visioneer scanner, was damaged and I needed a new one to install it (back in the day before WIA, mind you.) So, I called the number given in the manual and quickly discovered that I would be charged, not only for the phone call, but also for a new disc to replace the corrupted one I'd just purchased, if I wanted to use my new scanner. I immediately returned the scanner and haven't purchased anything from Visioneer since (probably wouldn't have anyway, considering the quality of their products, but that's another story.)

rogun64

@Buran: "When I say something, I have done it."

That was my point. When *you* say you've done something then you have done it. Unfortunately, not everybody's as honest, and the person you're talking to has no way of knowing what sort of person you are. Sadly, it's easier to assume the worst than to simply believe everything the person says, thoguh it's usually easy to tell if you are honest after a minute or 2.

aphexbr

@arungupta: "None of the steps mentioned here will get better help from tech support works. Looks like the author of this article has never tried to get tech support."

Jump to conclusuions much? FTA:

"Now, before we dig in, let me tell you that I've done my time answering the tech support phone calls. I spent a good 3 years at it"

The poiint of the article is to say "this is what the person answering your call is looking for, and this is how you can speed the call up". If you're going to question tech support people, even after they've told you what they need, it's no wonder you have problems.

Sadly, the problems described in nalyd's post are the norm rather than the exception, so bear that in mind the next time a tech person doesn't take your information at face value.

"Some of these steps are totally moronic and have nothing even remotely to do with the problem at hand."

As I mentioned before, a lot of these call centres judge their staff on scripts rather than their technical ability. I've had to do this many times, biting my tongue to stop myself from saying "look, I know this is idiotic and I know we don't have to do this to fix the problem, but I'm being monitored and don't want to blow my bonus". This is the fault of corporate bureaucracy, not the poor slob answering your call.

"When I go to a car shop, I expect the technician to know more than me about the car."

Do you usually do telephone support for your car or take it straight into the shop? Remember one of the points of the article - "They can't see what you're doing"! When you drive your vehicle into the car shop, the mechanic knows the make, model, year, general condition and any visibly obvious defects before you even step out of the thing. The person on a tech call knows none of these things about your computer - even if they have your purchase information, they don't know what you've done to the thing since you bought it.

Also, 95% of problems are software related, and Joe Schmo thinks nothing of deleting random files, installing spyware-laden software, etc. - and that's even if they have a good grasp of how to use the thing in normal circumstances, which they often don't. Most people won't modify their car if they don't know what they're doing, but most people have no problem installing whatever crap comes their way. Again, just because you know your stuff, that doesn't mean the other 50 people the tech's talked to today did, and he doesn't know if you're different.

If you had to do phone support for the car, I guarantee you'd come across the same problems. Next time you buy a piece of electronic equipment that's cheap, bear in mind that one of the things keeping the price down is the fact that the manufacturer doesn't have to maintain a local network of workshops.

aphexbr

@aphexbr: I am really confused. On one hand you are saying that tech support doesn't believe what I tell them because I might be lying or might not have done the diagnostics correctly so they have to take me through the steps again. On the other hand you are saying that theses are the same things I can do to speed up the call.

My question is if the tech support person has to take me through the troubleshooting steps all over again, then there is practically nothing I can do to speed up the call since they do not believe what I tell them. Isn't the article self contradictory?

If I can Google the problem or search for a solution myself through forums or knowledge base articles, then why would I need to call tech support? What is the point of this article?

arungupta

Well, should this be posted at MSN?

I mean, we all frequent the Gawker family of sites, so would not that mean we are more diligent than the average bear...?

What gets me about tech support, is that you usually have to through the dog and pony show before you get higher level tech support.

But then again I have gotten decent techs from Comcast who knew that I knew what I was stalking about.

The worst tech related issues I've ever had always come from outsourced from India. (Sorry.) I love Bollywood, but not their tech support.

radio1

@rabiddachshund:
haha, don't forget

http://site.whatever.com does not mean http://www.site.whatever.com

and

https:// does not mean http://s

(Why yes, as a matter of fact, I did have to google an HTML entity reference to be able to post that)

Although in fairness, sometimes the "technical" guy is not so hot either, I've been on both sides.

And as was noted by some, there are helpdesks which are seemingly incapable of going off script and do waste the caller's time. Again, I've been on both sides.

daddydave

Dear techsupport weenies,

Your customers are not stupid. Your customers are Doctors, Lawyers, Scientists, and occasionally other IT professionals, who occasionally do know what they're talking about.

You techies have Tech Support Syndrome, it's an almost unavoidable phenomenon for young, smart people who have so thoroughly internalized a specialized skill set that anyone who lacks at least the rudiments of your skillset, seems like a moron. Especially since most young IT professionals have spent their youth being constantly praised for their intellect. It's easy to become arrogant and start to believe your own hubris.

In reality, the simple truth is that most of you have learned a series of rote questions and answers, that allow you to work in a poorly paid, highly stressful environment with awful hours, poor lighting, and coworkers with poor personal hygiene.

Unless you own the company - chances are that if you are answering the phones to provide technical support - you don't want to be answering phones, but your stuck doing it anyway. Chances are you want to be working in an entirely different field, but help desk work is the best paying work you can find at the moment.

The doctors, lawyers and etc who call you work 25 hour weeks, with minty fresh coworkers and make enough money to pay for the services that generate your salary. Keep that in mind when deciding which one of you is the moron.

Of course, the people who call you are sometimes IT professionals who have either been called in to help fix a problem, or who are using the services your company provides - that doesn't intrinsically make them smart. In many, perhaps even a majority of cases, that makes them hucksters who are shilling imagined skills to the gullible and naive. They're also probably making more money then you are - I would stress again at this point, ask yourself seriously, which one of you is the moron?

Doctors, Lawyers, Housewives and etc are generally good people who are having a genuine problem. If those people are furiously angry, frustrated and full of rage, there's an excellent chance that they've been given the run around by 10 different call centers, and all they really need is someone who can help them instead of condescending to them and shoveling a heaped serving of arrogance and ignorance in their direction. Maybe, it would also be a good plan to ask them if they have any feedback about their likelihood to recommend your companies product to others, or use your companies products again in future, and ask them what might influence those decisions at these points so you can pass the feedback onto your managers. Any company worth working for should recognize that angry customers are far more likely to have found product flaws then any other demographic you could poll and are therefor an excellent source of feedback.

You'll be doing yourself, and your company a favor if you give them the metrics to actually consider negative customer reaction vs HR savings from having a really annoying IVR system.

Top get the best tech support, be polite, but make it clear when you're upset or angry. Recognize that it's not the tech support weenies fault that your whatever is broken - but keep in mind that it is their fault if they're giving you shitty service and ask to speak to a supervisor or a manager or an escalation point. Don't be rude about it, but don't accept their shit either.

Don't mistake the tedious diagnostic process for arrogance or poor service. Your tech support monkey is not psychic and he's probably never dealt with you before - give him a few minutes to figure out what's going on - while some computer technicians can actually see whats on your screen - the vast majority of them have to ask stupid questions to fix the problem. Imagine you were giving someone instructions on whatever it is that you do for a job - How much information would you need to walk someone through putting up a drywall or drafting a patent application or whatever it is that you do? Put yourself in their shoes.

And if you consistently get good service, if the company consistently fails to act on feedback, if the product consistently doesn't work as advertised - take your business somewhere else. You have the power to change the industry - so tell people about your experiences, as honestly and calmly as you can and stop rewarding the companies that don't give you what you've paid for. Is saving a few bucks on your hardware really worth this agrovation?

Kind Regards,
Scootah Mcwombat
Who started in the helpdesk in '97 and has since done pretty much every job you can do in an IT Helpdesk.

Scootah

I have no problem with the standard run-down list of questions.

My problem (and one I run into a lot) is actually more specific.

Generally, when I call tech support, it's for something being truly wrong. Going through the standard run-down is good, because sometimes it actually is one of those basic things that I overlooked. But when it's not, I tend to run into the same phenomenon over and over again.

Tech: "Open up Rarely Used Utility X and click 'Run'."

Me: "Where's Utility X located?"

This single question usually leads to the tech deciding that I barely know how to use a mouse, and they go from the overly general instructions to the painfully, cripplingly basic walkthrough designed to make sure you don't somehow lop off a finger trying to run a BIOS check.

hegemonyhog

Oh, and if you post a comment to Lifehacker:

Be nice... (you know the rest).

PaulOfCongleton

I think it all boils down to

If you call Tech Support:
Be nice.
Be polite.
Be patient.
Use your brain.

If you are Tech Support:
Be nice.
Be polite.
Be patient.
Use your brain.

In fact, if you do anything, anywhere, with anyone...
Be nice.
Be polite.
Be patient.
Use your brain.

PaulOfCongleton

Protip: Demand to speak with a tech support rep that speaks English.

ShezCrafti

When I call tech support, there's usually a real problem not on my end or its a problem that is beyond 1st level stuff.

When I call up, I say "I'm having a problem with X, and I've taken steps Y and Z to fix this issue". In my previous time on tech support, I've found that when customers offer up information right off the bat, it is more often than not indicative that they did indeed take those steps and have a clue of what they are talking about. So I try and do the same.

Sometimes, the tech on the other end will believe me, and things are sped up. Other times they'll believe me but want/have to double check, but since they know I know what I'm doing will they'll speed things along. Other times they won't believe me or will just read straight off the script. In those cases, yeah I feel a bit talked down to, but I also realize I can't blame them.

bonzombiekitty

@Zundfolge:
lol

daddydave

@Quickfold: You know why tech support people ask you to retake steps you've already taken and treat you like an idiot? Because many callers LIE. Seriously. They lie their heads off. I worked tech corporate tech support for a large pharma company. I can't tell you how many times I was lied to by people asking for my help. The following conversation would happen at least five times a day:

*customer has a problem wherein the fix is to reboot the computer. It's a problem I've seen over and over and over again*
Me: Ok, have you tried rebooting the computer?
Person: Yes I have.
Me: Really? You mean you turned the computer off and then on again right before calling me?
Person: yes I did.
Me: Well, lets try rebooting it again.
Person: But I already did that! It takes soooo long for it to boot up.
Me: I just want to see what happens when it reboots so i can troubleshoot some.
Person: FINE. I'll reboot it, but I'm telling you this won't work.
*Computer reboots*
Person: Oh, it works now.

bonzombiekitty

@Scootah: I've read this board for a while now, but it took you to make me register so that I may leave comments.

I am sorry, but you are mistaken about IT. And there is no way you work in IT, but it was a nice try there at the end.

Your name calling, judging people by job class, talk of pay scales, assumptions about scripts, praise, hygiene, and professional work hours make you look like the very IT people you are describing. I'd like to see you call me a weenie to my face by the way. I'd really like to see you say it to my boss. You'd need a doctor AND a lawyer. 

For the rest of you, I have created a blog to document the funny stuff that happens to me on a regular basis. It's the only thing that keeps me going now. That and my low pay (that prevents me from buying deodorant.) God I need a shower.

Give it a look. www.thegrumpyadmin.com.

thegrumpyadmin

I'm from INDIA, work for WIPRO, both HP & DELL out source here (yes on the same location calls are handled for both rivals, obviously on different floors) for US & Canada. My work experience 2+ years. Previously when WIPRO was given these projects they used to hire people with high Tech knowledge, slowly the quality of hiring went down, tenured people left, now high school passed (12'th grade) take tech calls (yes this is the truth) and the emphasis is on SALE (minimum of $6 per call for technician and $10 for a CSR-call routing guy. Tech also has to maintain an AHT (Average Handle Time) of 16 min to 28 min depending upon the queue you are in (laptop, desktop: 28 min, printer scanner: 10 min). Now my opinion is that EARLIER both sides (Customers and Agents) are right & wrong, sometimes it was a bad CU or sometimes a bad Tech, it happens not all the fingers are equal, but lately in order to increase profits 12'th grade students are being hired, these are students out to make a quick buck to buy a mobile or a bike, they are paid Rs7000 ($175) per month (previously old experienced real technicians used to get Rs15000 ($375) pm + bonuses, now emphasis is on more profit, these new agents are given basic training of 2 months (1 month process and 1 month product) training. Now this sometimes work (as mentioned above 75% issues are common) but when hardcore trouble shooting needs to be done then they find themselves in the dock, they don't have any clue what CU is saying or what needs to be done, 'cause this is the first time they have heard about it, Supervisors can't even help as its not possible for one person to help 20 people at the same time, then many times the solution is part replacement or bench (take the unit for repair), this in turn hurts HP & DELL as 80% of the time the part that is being replaced is not at fault its something else, but it gets overlooked as mentioned earlier out of 100 calls this happens 10 times and that is within the green boundary. Attrition is high and because of low pay only students who wanna work for couple of months or who don't get any job but can speak some English prefer to join. So I do sympathize with those Customers who have good tech knowledge but face the tech who just two months ago never ever even reinstalled the OS on his or her own machines & are helping them troubleshoot a wireless issue for the laptop. The techs in America used to be good because they were technicians, but here its not good because now there are no technicians there to help Customers, they are just tools who are earning money for their employer. This is the very reason why India was ruled by foreign powers for so long, corruption, talent is there but just to earn more profit people out of their diapers are made HP certified technicians in just 1 month (22 days of training) and they are supposed to help Customers thousands of miles away, I have even seen some technician (yes so called technicians not call routing agent) who instead of troubleshooting have the guts to tell the CU "Why don' you buy a new machine, yours is out dated and not upto the mark", even though the CU has bought this Notebook just a couple of months ago or has bought a 3 year ADP plan for $398 on a $800 machine, you can imagine what the CU would say and God forbid if that CU calls again and then I have to answer that call, ... then I try to just close my ears and keep on listening what the CU has to say because I know that has happened to him (in some cases all their data is gone because some technician didn't properly troubleshoot and initiated a recovery thus resulting in complete data loss for the CU), I thus totally agree with the CU in this case that he has the right to get mad, but most of the time it is the wrong agent who gets his ass kicked (some times I close such cases and the survey comes in my name and I get a big Dissat - then also I respect American CU unlike British CU's as if you help resolve their issues then they don't give you a CSAT but they also don't give you a DISSAT, unlike British CU's Americans are not SARCASTIC .......... to cut the story short I don't think any kind of bitching is going to help matters, because no matter what kind of support is provided (good or bad), CU support is not going back to Americas, HP & DELL know this, WIPRO knows this (this is the reason why they ain't hiring costly technicians anymore), I know this and its better you know this, this is the reason why you get filthy support, its not that Indians can't provide you good support its because then WIPRO has to hire costly techs and they effects their profits, just like it effects HP's & DELL's profit if they provide support from AMERICA.
One thing more why tech support is never going back to USA is that if one company takes tech support to America then it wont be possible for them to sell the Notebook for $800 they would have to charge $1200 instead and then the other company would capture the market, so its the case of chicken or the egg who came first. Tech support can only go back to USA if all co's like HP, DELL, IBM, ACER, Toshiba, Brother, Sony, Fujitsu, Xerox, etc all simultaneously start providing support from USA, but then as I said earlier your products will pinch you 50% extra, .... ha ha ha, so I would like some Ideas from your side also.
The only remedy I can suggest is that instead of cribbing about getting support from US start to demand that support is provided to you by a real technician who has a Microsoft, Redhat, Cisco, Ibm, certification and not some 12'th passed boy or a graduate in Arts or Commerce with experience in marketing helping you.
One thing more never rely on HP or DELL certified technicians as these certificates are issues after 1 month of basic product training and all the Prometrics are given by cheating openly in the CBT (lab), its a big fraud. Even on the floor we are supposed to give Prometrics on new products, but in the past two years I haven't given even one test myself, all are given by our supervisors as this would be loss of productivity (4 hours of studying & 1 hour of test results in half day production loss for each agent every month) which our company wouldn't want to afford, instead they would rather ask us to stretch longer and prepare, which we agent can't afford ... ha ha (sarcastically)

........ as you could have guessed I have asked you more questions than I have answered & this chicken and egg example has also cropped in a little too much for my liking ... (note this has been written at one go, and no editing was done even once, so kindly overlook any grammatical mistakes) ...
feedback is welcomed (-:

falcondragon

First I must Preface this with the fact that I do Tech Support for a software company.

I personally don't use a script at all. I am a senior level tech so that might have something to do with it.

The truth of the matter is I would rather talk to a complete idiot who is nice and respectful then some a**hole who thinks he knows his stuff. Now all you guys on this blog actually probably do know what your doing but you must remember we are a small percentage of the people who use computers. Most people don't even know anything except how to turn it on and play solitaire.

In my experiences though it is the simple stuff that usually is overlooked that resolves the users problem.

And my last tidbit is to be nice. Most Techs want to help you resolve your issues. So when they answer the phone give them a little respect.

Oh and BTW I am Caucasian and located in Texas...no outsourcing here.

Aberroownn

@Unravel - First thing to know, you can be surprised what strange things cause issues, meaning removing a game from your system could cause your computer to fail, Word to not open, IE to fail, running Ad Aware can disable your gaming software…etc. Secondly why does tech support use "key words" well guess what, the Tech Gods force them to use a Knowledge base (search engine) and the intent is that key words trended can predict what issue it is that the caller is having, problem is that the keywords we use are given from the caller who typically is guessing what the issue is, the same person who doesn't read what the error that "has been poping up 7+ times" says, or knows the difference from the power button on the monitor to that of the computer case.

The biggest tip I can say for someone calling into support is this, no matter how bad of day you are having, or how badly you need the file fixed. Don't be calling with a chip on your shoulder. Heck if you are in a good mood we'll do our best or even jump in front of a train to get your computer fixed. Keep in mind "help desk" only implies we help people, by no means does it mean we are required to help everyone. Don't insult our intelligence by being snide or act bigger than life, because it all breaks down to this, you broke your system, we didn't, you are calling us for help, we didn't call you.

SoDum2NoU

@Guizzy: You haven't talked to me on the phone, have you? I'm calm and polite on the phone. But I'm not on the phone, am I? I'm not obligated to be nice to anyone who basically tells me I'm an asshole to dare to protest when my valuable time is wasted. If you hung up on me, with the way I interact with phone support, I'd be on the phone with your bosses so fast your head would spin.

Stop with the bullshit and stop treating people like stupid Geico cavemen when they're not.

To all the people trying to defend their crappy "support": I do IT support as part of my job responsibilities, by the way, thank you for assuming I'm a liar and wasting my time.

I can and have filed complaints against techs who behave like you do. Enjoy your reprimand.

Buran

@thegrumpyadmin:

Heh. Reading your blog makes the irony of the call out so perfect it's almost impossible to describe.

I'll go back to making uncomplimentary jugements about nerds because I'm a bad person, while you continue ripping of BOFH jokes to 'hillbillies' because of their inappropriate use of spaces in product names. You in no way prove my point about Tech Support Syndrome, no siree bob.

Scootah

didn't read the comments to see if this one was posted yet, and only applies to Canadians:

If you hate having to talk to someone in India about tech support (see Bell Canada customers...outsourced call centre jobs...) - don't press 1 for english, press 2 for french, and the call goes to someone in Quebec, who has a 90% chance of being bilingual, and can more than likely help you out or pass you onto a cubicle mate.

gover57