one trick I learned long ago is that you aren't obligated to answer the phone. Just because it rings, doesn't mean you have to answer it. I get more work done this way and just check my messages and get back to the caller as soon as I can.

manok

one trick i learned was to just turn the damn ringer off when i don't want to answer the phone. might not be a good idea at work, but at home it works like a champ.

firesign

Hate not being prepared to leave a message? Well for most phones, after you leave a message, press "#" and you can review your message, and ensure you left the perfect message.

sushi1869

Won't that vacant circuit tone kind of discourage ANYONE from calling you again, not just bots? I usually hang up as soon as I hear that.

nick_r

Re: #2

I've found saying "agent" helps sometimes, in case a good old-fashioned f bomb doesn't do the trick.

evslin

One trick I often use when on more important calls is to stand up, and move around. Like if I am on a sales call or a conference call for work. I feel that animation and emotion can be conveyed over the phone.

BigDASH

One trick I like to us is using skype to make wake up calls using scheduled tasks on Windows (you can probably use cron on Linux). Nice for anyone who doesn't have an alarm function on their cell phone, or alarm doesn't work very well.

Windows instructions: [www.i-hacked.com]

MacOS X instructions: [lifehacker.com]

SirNuke

On loan from the 4-Hour Work Week:
1- Send all calls on work phone to voicemail.
2- Have v-mail message explain that you:
i- Have high workload
ii- Are checking voicemail twice a day as a productivity measure.
iii- Can be reached on your cell phone for real emergencies.
3- Always answer cell phone.
4- Check v-mail at appointed times.
5- Respond promptly to v-mail.

Very nice hack. Worked really nicely at my last position, where I got a lot of misdirected calls, one emergency in 4 months, and a lot of non-urgent stuff.

PotKettleBlack

I'd have to agree with Nick...you certainly don't want that dead tone on your VM if you're job searching...

Sanjay_

If you're opposed to swearing like a sailor on the phone, I find that foreign languages work as well. Even if you don't know a foreign language, just start babbling in something that sounds foreign. Geeks, use klingon.

JD

I really like youmail. Its a much better voice mail service than any of the cell phone provider's. Clear and concise menu options, unlimited storage, email you your voice messages, and custom greetings for particular callers (fun to mess with friends).

and, its totally free

devinburn

Because I work at home I often get bombarded with friends and relatives who think I am just home, when in fact I am working, so I have taken to letting my friends and family know that I have "working hours" and I can't take calls at those times. It not only has worked it has also made it easier for me to have a set time everyday to work, and it allows me to have a life too. :)

sly100100

@firesign: My phone goes to vibrate when the ringer is off. I like the concept of a silent ring tone.

pandamonium

I currently have a Treo. I love (LOVE!) handyshopper for dealing with shopping lists. I don't love my treo. I'm looking for a shopping list solution for a regular phone. Can anybody offer a suggestion?

pandamonium

Shazam does the same music identifying thing from a mobile phone in the UK. Call 2580 and hold your phone up to the music. If it can ID the music then it costs you 50p

labete

YMMV, but sometimes the answer to "Can you hold please?" is, in fact, "No, thank you, please call me back." It doesn't work so well with phone banks but I've had excellent success when dealing with small businesses - when they call back you can find out what you need in a brief conversation for which they are prepared.

Vicky

That's pretty sweet if you can use a foreign language to be forwarded. Even better (I'm guessing) if it's not Spanish since most places have that option and they might automatically connect you that way...

Now if we can find a way to get around wait times to talk to someone *ahem ATT aheh*

ry_ry

I've tried #2 one time before and the voice goes "Sorry! Thanks for calling." and hangs up.

jivemastert

Swearing specifically forwards you? Thats awesome, usually I just keep mashing buttons on the phone until it forwards me, screaming randomly works too, or you could just say agent.

shibathedog

I also REALLY appreciate people that give the key stroke to pass the voice mail in the first sentence of their greeting.

i.e. - "You've reached Joe Blow. If you have heard this message before and would like to proceed directly to leaving a message - please press # now.)

And then leave the rest of your greeting. Sitting through a even a 30 second greeting can be maddening.

molife

This is for reducing general stress from your phone:

The phone ringing is a stress trigger. Ever notice how you respond with a stress induced breath in every time you hear it? Almost like Pavlovs dogs. Except you aren't being rewarded with a treat. Your being triggered to have your stress and anxiety level shoot up every time you hear it.

To curb this I periodically change ring tones. And look for ringtones that are more soothing than others. I'm not a big fan of song ringtones. They sound incredibly rude and unprofessional. But even of the stock ringtones on my phone there are a few that are of a lower octave and slower beat if you will.

Simply changing the sound curbs much of my stress. I don't automatically respond with a stress spike every time the phone rings. At least for a while. And then I change it again. Another great thing is to use vibrate when you can.

Another thing I have noticed is people that CAN NOT stand NOT to answer a ringing phone. I have tried to help my wife with this to no avail. Try not answering your phone at all when it rings for a week. Even if you turn right around and call the person back. Your training yourself not to respond to someone constantly pulling your chain. And reducing the stress response. Two thirds of the time when you pick up the voice mail it's not anything you need to talk about right away anyway. And on some phones if you hang up on the ring it tells the caller that you are busy on the other line and then sends them to your voice mail.

It gives the impression that you are on the phone and busy working. Not a necessarily bad image to portray. There are of course those calls you have to take. But if you can get in the habit of screening your calls. Even if just for the moment. The whole panic and immediacy will be lifted.

molife

@ry_ry: Honestly, it's more like saying things the automated operator doesn't understand. Babbling, curse words, things of that nature will most likely confuse it and in that situation you might get forwarded. In some cases, like Verizon's automated system, hitting 0 is the simplest way of getting to a person.

JD

Ummm....Popularity Dialer hasn't been down since September, I guess due to some flack from the FCC.

[popularitydialer.com]

SRSco

For all the F-Bomb people: Dead silence works as well. The system will assume you are on a rotary phone.

MercuryPDX

What annoys me the most are ringback tones. I don't want to hear your favorite song, especially since it's crackling and incoherent anyways.

JD

ooh, forgot one... pressing the hookswitch on an analog phone 10 times is the same thing as the rotary zero. Try it... :D

JakeRobinson

@nick_r: When you pick up the phone and the "vacant tone" plays, the "bots" immediately hang up. But right after the tone, you say hello.

The coolest feature I've seen, as far as corporate phone systems is the "Outlook Call Handling feature" of the Shoretel. When you set meetings in your Outlook Calendar, The system will automatically change your voicemail to the "in a meeting" greeting. [www.shoretel.com]

JakeRobinson

One of the most clever tricks I've ever read about was that of teenagers using high-frequency ringtones above the hearing threshold of most adults.

Deprong Mori

The silent ring's a good trick - I use it myself. My Treo is set to have "No Sound" for the "Unknown Caller Tone" in the Sound->Phone options. That means anyone not in your contact list. I suspect other phones have similar settings.

cypherpunks

Keep a (fake if need be) smile on your face while talking on the phone. You sound more pleasant. Try it.

I also agree with not picking up the phone -- I learned to let the answering machine pick up when I had a newborn 11 years ago, and I haven't looked back. I pick up when convenient and always call back, but I never let the phone run my life.

superdewa

If you are looking to shave minutes off of work related calls, stand for the duration of the call. Not only will you sound better, as pointed out above and elsewhere, but it helps you stay on task because you're less comfortable.

Another method for scheduling calls is to plan them for 15 or 20 minutes before lunch or quitting time. It keeps you both on task because you have someplace to be.

SurrealDreams

Easylly I turn off it ;) or sometimes you can redirect the calls you do not want to answer to your voice email.

ChambrasWeed

A phone money saver for UK Phoners: saynoto0870.com you can just search for a costy number, and for lots of companies find a free alternative, this is especially handy for companies where your going to be waiting for a while!

thistle.john

I worked for the company that developed the calling bots back in the late 80's for the now-defunct MCI. The tri-tone (doo-dah-dee) sound does indeed take your phone number out of the call queue software; unlike a busy tone.

You can always tell a telemarketer call or 'survey' call, because the silence after you say 'hello' is the dialing bot working ahead of the persons whose minimum wage task is inflicting their script on you [they have prison camp guard-like monitors with whips watching over them -- it's not like it's *all* their fault]. So, if you're greeted with silence when you pick up your phone, that means the script reader hasn't caught up with the dialing machine that is frantically indicating on their monitor there have a live human on the line.

If you say hello, your phone number gets sent to the phone drone's screen. If you hang up, or there's a busy signal, your phone number goes straight back into the call back queue. The tri-tone tells the dialing bot that the number is vacant and your number is dropped from the machine's list [previously sold by some opportunistic douchebag]. That's why you should put the tri-tone on your answering machine as the best way out of this waste of your phone bill.

gezortenplotz

I have to 2nd DEVINBURN. Youmail has been totally amazing. The custom outgoing messages for different contacts means you can ditch an ex or annoying stalker so easily by making them think your phone was disconnected. Or set one up that says you lost your phone and heres the new number and then cut off the message halfway through the number. It's saved me countless hours of explaining "It's not you it's me"

Geoff

Regarding tip #5... As far as I know, GrandCentral isn't accepting any new members since their acquisition by Google six months ago. (A bit disappointing, actually, that they've stayed closed this long.)

shaiberger

With many automated systems, enter # # 0 0 # # and you will forward to an operator.

rubberchickenboy

This may not be entirely on the subject, bit Ive been using the free service PrivatePhone for years and now they are going to start charging.
Does anybody use a free service like PrivatePhone they can recommend?

douchrti2004

I just read read an article on Deadspin regarding Telephone Tricks. The Jamboroo has good insight on this topic.

BMN

The cleverest trick and stress busting tip i can give you is to buy the cheapest possible hammer and smash the phone to bits. Then frame the bits with the title "Bliss".

My life is a lot better today than it was then. The rest, over email. Nobody has the right to intrude on my time.

bugmenot21

I recommend [gethuman.com] with tips on how to get a human on the other end of the line... I've noticed that many companies have changed, and saying 'agent' or pressing # or 0 doesn't work any more. some thoughtful person has compiled a database of button shortcuts to get to talking to an actual human.

km249

Re #2: I've found this one to be helpful when "agent" or "operator" don't work: When they ask for you to punch in or say your account number/extension number/PIN, make indecipherable sounds--preferably ones that don't occur in English. Repeat as necessary until the system gives up, decides you have an indecipherable accent and you're calling from a dial phone, and transfers you to an organic life form.

RocktheDebit

If you ask "What's your extension?" the response is usually "I can't be reached at the extension I am at." Keep pestering,@JakeRobinson: That used to be the case in all areas, and it worked with touch-tone phones also. It absolutely doesn't work on Centrix (dial 9) or PBX systems.

A lot of the old tricks like using 11 and 20 codes (telephone test bots) are long gone from most carriers.

Most companies publish an internal phone book, with non 800 #s listed for employees. If you can't get an extension out of them, ask if you could get alternate non 800 phone numbers. Often you can surf these systems where you can't the "free" ones.

DeadWriter

Here's one - if you are in meeting a lot, but don't want to turn your cellphone off, change your ringtone to the sound of a cough.
[www.google.com]
Even if people notice it's your phone, they are somehow not as annoyed as much as if they heard a normal ringtone.

landsnark

This is a great compilation. It's a shame to see that PopularityDialer.com had to be shutdown by the FCC.

Has there been any indication that this will be changing?

ainsworthboyle

::sigh:: Except for #4 and maybe #6, useless -- if you live outside the US.

Seriously, folks, do you know what percentage of internet users live in the US? It's Less than 50%. The least you could do is put "US only" at the top of the article to save the majority of us from reading it.

shadowfirebird

I was getting an amazing number of bill collectors and automated dialers for people I didn't know. Have no idea how I got on these lists but something had to be done. I got a box called person-to-person and what it does is you can set it to refuse or reroute calls to an answering machine. It can be set to just reroute specific numbers, area codes, or anything without a caller ID number, as well as just the numbers you specify that can get through, or with a PIN number.

Now all the automated dialers trying to get through to someone I don't even know just ring off the hook and the phone here never rings when they call and there's nothing they can do about it. You can also set it so if there isn't a caller ID, they go to voicemail and it says they have to call with it available to get through. Just get an answering machine with announce only option and they must call with caller ID available to ever speak with you. This also weeds out all the automated dialers.

If you put the PIN number in this message, they have to call with a real person to get it, they can't leave a message, and it has to be them dialing manually to ever have a chance to talk with you.

If you're getting automated calls this is the way to go, and there's nothing they can do about it. I can't stand automated dialers, especially the ones where you pick up and have to wait for the telemarketer to get on the line to say you've won some contest...blah blah blah...

Hello_Newman

I really like the vacant tone .wav for the bots. I realize that this might have some undesirable outcomes for those friendlies that you do want to speak to, but in my case I simply use my cell for fam/friends - everyone else goes to the VAC!

mikeael

I have been using a software at the office that changed my work life. It's called REMOTE DIALER 4.2

You can find it at cnet's download.com.

What does this software do? How about turning any phone number in your computer screen (spreadsheets, emails, websites or any kind of document) in an easy dialing phone with 2 clicks of your mouse. AWESOME!

I work for a private label firm and I have to call dozens of suppliers everyday to inquire about late or incomplete orders. I have never been a phone person. I'm an email person. But when they you need something fixed ON THE SPOT, you have to pick up the phone and call the culprit. The thing is, I hate dialing phone numbers at the office. I'm looking back and forth at the phone number on my screen while trying to dial it, and I get absolutely annoyed when after dialing a long 800 number, I make a mistake on the last digit. That just ads to my stress. Hang up for 3 seconds with my finger so the office line resets, pick up again, dial 0 for outside access, wait 2 seconds for outside access and dial again.)

What this software does is incredibly simple but incredibly effective:

Just by copying anything from your computer screen (Using the copy command or Ctrl+c) pops up a small software screen and you just have to click the DIAL button. It supports prefixes like 9 for outside access so it's extremely convenient and it dials numbers blazing fast. All my co-workers wanted me to show them how I was doing this. It's really easy: Just hook up your fax modem line to your phone line (you can use a splitter so both the px and the phone have access to the same line at the same time or simply hook up your phone or desk extension line to the phone port in the back of your computer) and the software does the rest. For people who sit all day on their computers and need to make lots of phone calls this is a no brainer.

You must know this software is NOT FREE. It's 25 bucks but after trying it, I'm more than willing to pay the money.

One more thing that you'll find really useful: The trial period is not determined by time. It's determined by number of software uses which means, How many times have you actually ran the software on your computer. Since I NEVER turn off my office of home computer off, but simply at the end of the day turn off my monitor and go home so the next day I don't have to put up with booting time but I can just continue what I was doing the previous afternoon right away and since this software runs minimized all the time in your system tray, I have only "cold started" this software about 15 time since I installed it. (You get a total of 30 uses). That's about 15 uses in about 6 months. So I think I'll be purchasing this software in about 6 more months or so but I don't mind. Totally worth the money.

TheBigmac

"Press pound to leave a message now. Hi, you've reached the voicemail of ___ at ___. Please leave your name, telephone number and brief message at the sound of the tone. Thank you for calling."

First message: press pound - means I'm not wasting your time if you're listening
Second message: you've reached so & so at this & that - means you can hang up if you have a wrong number
Third message: leave important info (and no more)
Fourth (implicit) message: I do not promise to return your call

The latter is very important. Even in business, you have the right not to call everyone back - you have to deal with the call, but you don't have to call them back. Send an email. Forward the call to someone else who can handle it. Call their voicemail with the answer (so much quicker than calling them and getting stuck in a whole re-iterative conversation)...

...James

PS: if you call me, I appreciate the effort ;-)

JimmyMTL

If I had a company with an automated phone system I'd want to set up a system where an agent could be reached within a certain amount of time: pretty quick if I respected my customers. (For the record, I wouldn't mind waiting for a second agent if I could get to the first agent immediately.)

So what's the problem for companies? Wouldn't improving your automated telephone service make your customers happier? Does this mean you can't find a vendor to help you with a better solution?

I wonder why we don't see much discussion about this from the non-customer side.

meg_warren

I have been looking for a voice phone call reminder system to link up to iwantsandy.com and jott.com. Check out: [www.outlookenvoy.com]

It looks like they have very reasonable pricing and do text-to-speech, and integrate with Outlook.

Jeff Axelrod