Some books I found helpful when I was looking to make life better for myself ('cause let's face it, nobody was going to do it for me) was the Life 101 series. Chock full of practical, sensible advice to getting one's life in order.

Solomon

I really enjoyed this, so much I converted it to mp3 here:

[www.hackosis.com]

Shane

I'm relatively successful in business. Whenever anyone asks me how they can start a business and be successful they expect specific advise about business. But what I always say is "You have to get your mind right."

"If you get your mind right everything else will follow. Without it everything else will fail." If your ram is bad. And you don't take your computer in for a repair. Your not going to get much work done.

I applaud Michael Montoure's willingness to change. And to share it with others. I agree with many of his points about self improvement and positive thinking. Positive thinking and change are the keys to success.

But to simply say "just do it" to giving up your past so you can change - is denial. And in some ways a stigma or excuse for not seeking professional help - "hacking your life." The same professional help you'd hire to repair any other highly sophisticated tool you have at your disposal.

You may have lived an idyllic childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. But until you explore the subconscious ramifications of those experiences with professional guidance (not endorsing any one kind of guidance here - but something based in science and/or fact would not be a bad choice) you will be saddled in your day to day life with a burden that will hold you back i.e. - faulty ram. Even if you weren't the victim of terrible abuse the subconscious mind triggers and dictates reactions and choices that we are rarely aware of. Thus the term "sub"conscious. And dictates even the smallest choices in the most perfect lives.

So many of us in this scientific age of technology will seek professional help with our torn ligament, our broken car sensor, our computers ram. But won't seek the same professional help with the most important tool we use - our minds.

Seeking professional help "hacking your life (mind)" also has this slippery slope stigma attached. That says if you seek any kind of scientific professional mental help, for even the simplest of life improving reasons - your a loon bag! Which obviously isn't true. You can use it to simply improve your professional success. Or your everyday happiness.

If you want to hack your life, Michael Montoure's is correct, you have to hack your mind. But if you first don't fix what experience (and perhaps chemistry) has given you, with the same level of professional help you'd hire to treat your torn ligament before running a marathon - you'll be hard pressed to cross the finish line.

If you really want to "clean house"? Hire a professional and clean out your subconscious mind. Life is like Vista (unfortunately lol!) - you need two full gigs of clean, unshared ram to run it really well.

Just my two cents.

Molife

molife

While the site is great for people that are simply having a bit of trouble motivating themselves, it really needs a disclaimer recognizing that it's not aimed at anyone with a brain-based disability or that has spent years in a truly abusive situation. *By definition* the first group can't change through willpower, and the other is known to be unable except in very limited situations. It's not a choice, lack of interest in change, or lack of effort. That's speaking as someone that has been in both situations, plus has had lifelong physical disability to compare it with.

I know it might be implied that the essay isn't intended to include people in those situations... When you've been living them for a long time, though, hearing that same "just do it" litany from so many people (who typically haven't been in our shoes), it's hard to recognize that. Even if *we* realize it's not applicable to us, other people often fail to, and so it reinforces/creates the belief that we're simply not trying hard enough. It'd be nice if the place said up-front "notice: this is not aimed at people having difficulty due to a disability/disorder" simply to avoid that problem.

moggymania

I really like this article. The hardest part is taking this and doing it. Letting go. Very "Zen" though. I plan on making a printout and posting it...

"amaze yourself"

apparate

Here is my take.

Whenever you feel on the negative side just be thankful:

you're still breathing (alive)

Once that sinks in you, go out and smile! Yes, smile! It won't make you look like a fool you do but of course practice discretion.

BlackBeard

Cool post @Molife and am in complete agreement having sought out and embraced my own treatment for the latter half of my 20's. Just a little note though: There is no Sub-Conscious mind. Simply UNconscious. The Unconscious mind is the one that needs the attention you are referring to.

Jasoncscs

The site is BS. Those principles will work in the short term, but they're not a solution for even well-adjusted people if they actually have ghosts from their past they need to deal with.

I've used a similar theory in athletic pursuits when literally nothing mattered except my performance at each moment, and it works for that. You're not learning from your mistakes during a performance; you're not experimenting, you're doing what you know works.

With regards to living your life like this, all it means is that you won't learn from your mistakes. You won't apologize to people who deserve it. And you'll be completely disconnected from accountability. That's not a good way to start a business, and it's not a good way to live a life.

So, don't forget about the past, just don't let it consume you.

noftheta

Wow -- a couple of rough comments from the posters, but I appreciate them. I haven't visited the site yet; I tend to read the comments before I follow any link, and these posters are the reason why. I want to improve my life, probably just as much as the next person, but I'm weary of pseudo-psychology. Any way, props to you guys for keeping it real.

Ace in the Hole

Well, said at the end, NOFTHETA. Best advice so far.

FuturShoc

I have to disagree with those saying this site is BS.

You've missed the point. You have learned from your mistakes -- but you don't have to live with the mistakes, they're in the past. All we have is NOW, right now, that is all that is real.

The past is GONE. You have scars to remind you of mistakes, and you've learned from them (if you haven't you're doomed to repeat them) but you can't let the past sabotage your future. That is the point of the article. So in the here and now you try new things, you give yourself the freedoms of choice, of experiment, of pushing your own boundaries.

This is how you grow.

GroovyMojo

to: Ace in the hole-

dude, go read and evaluate for yourself. critics are no more qualified than the writer to offer commentary!

-----

The article is not necessarily dismissive of therapy (or whatever the long painful process people want to suggest), merely offering a divergent perspective, and a valuable one.

If you don't like how the author explains, try Thich Nhat Hahn- not all that different a message at heart. Live the present moment, not the past over and over-

Therapy and such can help. sometimes. for some people. not everyone needs this type of process in their lives.

jakemayer

A few commenters felt that this site's advice was inappropriate for certain people who are really victims of their brain biology, physical handicaps or abusive pasts. I would have to disagree. No matter what broken down old brain or body or psyche life/god/evolution/parents/abuser has left you with, you are going to get the best results from your broken-down old self if you stay focused on whats possible in the future and pursuing what you want rather then ruminating over and reinforcing whats wrong with you, whose fault it is, and what things are not possible for you.

These statements are true for each and every human being who as ever lived:
You are imperfect and you will always be imperfect.
There are a host of people better off than you.
There are a host of people worse off than you.
Terrible tragedies have happened to you, and new terrible tragedies will happen to you in the future.
Wonderful things have happened to you in the past and wonderful things will happen in the future.
Some people have treated you badly in the past, and some people will treat you badly in the future.
Some people have treated you wonderfully in the past and some people will treat you wonderfully in the future.

Given that everyone has a mixed history, a mixed present, and will have a mixed future, whats the value in doing some accounting of your past and physical limitations and deciding that you are in some special category that can't be expected to challenge themselves to live fully? Why put yourself in the damaged goods bin? This is the only life you are getting, and its ending one minute at a time, and if you take yourself out of the game for any portion of it no one is going to give you a do-over when you wake up one day and realize that you unnecessarily limited yourself for most of your life.

AndyFromTucson

Try objectively examining your positive traits (are you honest, compassionate, etc?) and try and refute them in every way you can. Remember: we're being objective... no self-hate, just honest criticism.
Many times we assume ourselves to be much more honest and caring than we really are. Once you can admit where you may need improvement (without beating yourself up about it) you can REALLY start improving yourself. It is very hard to be honest with others if you believe your own lies. In many cases, by denying our own roles in our problems we are perpetuating selfish behavior, ultimately resulting in unhappiness. This is because your subconscious mind is very aware of where you need improvement, whether you realize it or not. Use this to your advantage. Many times the answer can be found within the problem itself.

That said, this is entirely anecdotal and I am speaking only from personal experience.

bagofpork

I found the book "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" to be quite helpful in living happier, day by day. I discovered ways to 'get over myself'. I think a lot of people sabotage their successes for the sake of self-protection.

ekfritz

I think the most appropriate comment above is "this is entirely anecdotal and I am speaking only from personal experience".

Psychology seems to be the one scientific discipline with the most "anecdotal experience" invoked in it's discussion than any other. Could you imagine another science being discussed in this way? Without any understanding or reference to the decades of study that has gone into it? By some of the worlds greatest minds.

Something about it seems to scare people. Not having all the answers to such a delicate tool as the brain somehow sends people into a fear that is unmatched. Except for maybe discussions of religion. Which are obviously linked.

Somehow having something within us that we are so desperately dependent on - and not having complete control over it - scares us. Which is understandable. But like discussions of religion can't seem to be overcome.

It's just interesting to me how even in such a tech and science related forum as this that conversation concerning a science can be so permeated with so much "anecdotal" evidence versus scientific fact.

I think in the debate over "just do it" versus "fix it first. and then just do it" I believe and practice the latter. And would encourage anyone else to as well.

I also think it is the stigma that is perpetuated (even above) that "fixing it first" somehow has to be precluded by some gross form of abuse or mental impairment - that keeps people afraid of seeking out many forms of scientific "fixing it".

Athletes use psychological therapy to jump higher. Therapy that does not include recovery from abuse. But simply discussing and discovering those mental handicaps that have perhaps held them back from competing on their highest level. Which they then can move on from and exceed. The notion that discovering those mental hurdles is somehow "using the past as a crutch" is ridiculous.

Seeking out scientific help to discover issues that might be holding you back is not the means by which you discover crutches to lean on. But a means to discover undiagnosed issues that once identified can be shed.

Asserting that the use of psychological therapy or medication is seeking out excuses not to live is ignorant. It's the opposite. From the athlete, to the person that wants to do better in business, to the person with serious mental handicaps. All are trying to use science to better themselves.

Molife

molife

In my experience, there is a HUGE amount of incompetence in the psychology field, so if you go to any therapist, keep your wits about you and only give them the respect & benefit of doubt they Earn.

Don't be afraid to switch therapists many times before you find a good one.

Do some reading on your core subject areas, so you understand them, too.

Be careful with meds. Research first, then see which would be best for you; -NOT the first pill the guy throws at you. Ex: Lexapro vs. Paxil

And finally: about root causes. Staying in ~freudian-style psychoanalysis for 1000 years may eventually lead you to your root causes. BUT, if you're still screwing up today, in the now; -> so what?

I'd say only use root causes as a frame to inform the process. You're still doing the work In The Now.

CBT is pretty good.

Find the Best doc you can afford. If he/she's not Michael Jordan, you're wasting time and money.

spaceman7

Some very interesting comments, which in a way is perhaps the value of sites such as Hack Yourself. I don't agree with everything I read, nor do I expect people to agree with everything I write. But if I get or pass on, just one life changing insight or idea, then surely the read is worthwhile.

the-happy-manager