I haven't been a houseguest in ages (I tend to rent a room when I travel) BUT I've done some housesitting for vacationing friends.

One of the first things I did when I arrived was to look around the house and make a mental note of what everything looked like. Throughout my stay, I'd check things to make sure they were AT LEAST as I'd found them. At the end of my stay, I'd take out the trash, wash the sheets I'd slept on and the towels I'd used, and run the dishwasher. I wanted it to seem as if no one had been there.

The one exception was the computer. I always left it better than I'd found it. I'd clean out the crap, remove any spyware and other junk, update the drivers if needed, run scandisk and defrag, etc. They knew ahead of time I'd do that, and sometimes asked me over to do just that between vacations. :)

(Of course, I'd play with the dog a lot, too. He missed his family when they were away. Another of the first things I do when I enter anyone's home is befriend the pets if I can.)

mdebusk

We love entertaining guests, and my wife always goes out of her way to make sure they couldn't get a better experience staying at a 5 star hotel :) There are some basic things we appreciate from our guests though that always stand out when they're not done:
-Be appreciative. A simple thank you should be standard fare and the odd gushing complement doesn't hurt. A gift is of course welcome but don't go overboard.
-Keep things neat. Always make the bed you slept in and offering to help with dishes never hurts.
-As mentioned above, be prepared to entertain yourself. Chances are your guests want to spend time with you, but they also need time to themselves and to get things done that need doing. Don't wait for them to ask you to keep yourself busy, be proactive.
-Plan properly. Don't make assumptions about your hosts' availability and time constraints, discuss any help you may need with transport and such before you arrive.

I suppose the general rule as with so many things in life is to behave as you would want guests to behave in your own home.

FlintZA

I guess I've had a lot of guests and visitors over the years. The ones that I'd invite back in a heartbeat generally -

1. Cleaned up after themselves. So easy to do, so respectful.
2. Were careful to assume that I wouldn't be able to spend every second of every day taking care of them/entertaining them.
3. Some went way above and beyond by doing little things like fixing squeaky doors, chores around the house etc.

ross.m

@Strega: This is SO key! Don't come in town expecting your hosts to entertain you 24/7. Bring a book to read or something else to occupy your spare time.

And don't expect your hosts to be your chauffeur either. Rent a car and explore the city yourself. You can drive yourself to the mall to grab that sweater you forgot to bring. Better yet, learn the public transportation system if it's safe and convenient to you.

ceejeemcbeegee

@edythemighty:
Very true.

Also, know when to leave even if it is for a few hours. Most times even if it is family, a few hours break will make life easier for all concerned. Especially if you're bringing a partner home to meet the family for the first time.

That is stressful for all concerned - I speak from experience.

Also, just know when it is time to go home - over staying a welcome isn't a "good thing."

Strega

What it all boils down to: Don't be a mooch

edythemighty

I work at keeping things cleaner than I do at my own home. Plus I chip in and help them with any house projects. Ran TV cable, fixed a sink drain, weeded a garden bed, just to name a few things I've done. It's worth it for good company, good food, and the use of the washing machine for my travel clothes.

quail

I always strip the bed before I leave....it was something I always did for my grandmother - even going so far to wash the sheets before I left - and I've carried it over to other family members and friends that I visit. I've also cleaned the bathroom I used (empty trash, clean shower, etc.), especially if the bathroom was only used by me. I never make a big deal about it. My desire is to minimize the amount of work my host needs to do after I leave.

Julie D

Why is it presumptuous to strip the sheets before you leave? I've always done this and it makes perfect sense since they need to be washed. I can't imagine that any of my friends would let someone else sleep in my dirty sheets!

This post is timely since we are about to stay with friends for almost two weeks (they will be away for part of that time).

Niltiac

@Lauram: Thanks so much for that idea. I'm visiting some family soon, and I can arrive with the pics from last visit!

Brigit

Since I moved out to study abroad I usually stay with family members in my vacations.
I always try to clean up after myself, help with the normal chores, get some cooking done, and entertain the babies and toddlers so my aunts, uncles, and cousins can get their things done easier. I also answer questions about the meds they take - like how they work, can they interact with other meds, and are there cheaper alternatives they can talk to their docs about.

Brigit

Whew! I do all that stuff. Except for the helping out in the kitchen. If someone were at my house, I'd prefer for them to stay put and let me worry about things.

Maulleigh

If your friends go out of their way to entertain you -- planning excursions and so on -- it's nice to bring a digital camera, take plenty of snaps and then put them together in one of those album templates that digital photo sites offer. (I use the ones supplied by iPhoto). You can add captions, have it printed and sent to them. Then they have a nice memento of the visit as a thank you gift. People with kids seem to like this the most, because they're usually too busy to do more than snap a few photos on the fly, if that.

Lauram

Honestly, so many of these "lifehacks" from "productivity" weblogs are just common sense written down. Not that Lifehacker is a useless site, quite the contrary, but it sucks to see Grandma's simple do's and don'ts, or Mommas simple manners become fodder for websites. Do people really need to read this in order to be a good guest; I thought it was common knowledge for decent people.

I'm ranting. I agree, clean your shit up if in a guest room/bathroom, baked goods and/or flowers are a must.

5cents

When you are a guest be flexible. My brother and his wife come with their 2 kids (which is great) except that their kids are on a strict routine and must eat and sleep at specified times. This is fine except that we live in a different time zone and my brother wants to keep his kids on their home time zone time. This means that the kids get up much earlier than the rest of us and eat at odd hours. The visit is always controlled by their schedule. It can get a bit stressful. I'll be glad when they get older.

Kaobear

I've been a house guest many times, and I've learned to ask about how routine things are handled. One of the commenters on the original article suggested doing a similar thing on how to be the perfect house host. I once drove across the country to spend some time with a friend. I offered to help with groceries. I was turned down, but that night they went out for some pretty expensive food--lots of it--and then had me pay for half--mine and their kids! It was way outside what I'd budgeted, and I'd even brought a bunch of my own food, since I eat organic and they didn't, and given much of it to them.

Good hosts would ask first.

WomanWithManyHats

Ben Franklin said it best: "Guests, like fish, stink after three days."

Robert J. Walker

As a current host for my MIL, I've got to say a hell ya for Nicole's comment. If the host declines the offer of help, dont! Work is not just activities needed to be done.

Our household is fairly relaxed typically. My wife loves to cook, it's her source of relaxation. And on those nights when we finish dinner and sit and talk or relax and then I'll do all kitchen stuff at once. It's kinda a zen thing for me, manual work compared to the programing I usually do.

As it is right now, the MIL has come in and kicked us out of our own kitchen, both for cooking and cleaning. So what should be a great time visiting has caused us to become greatly stressed.

Itch

I have had guests numerous times. What has bugged me the most has been guests who have:

1. Not cleaned up after themselves (bathroom, stuff strewn around in bedroom)
2. Leaving personal items all around the house (bottles, prescriptions, etc)
3. Not ever leaving the house for a few hours to give everyone a break

Just some thoughts on the subject.

jimmymac8088

@Maulleigh: This is a good point, and I think a lot of people feel this way.

Also worth noting is that if you offer to help with something and the host says "Oh, no, don't worry about it"... do just that, don't worry about it! Insisting upon "helping" (or going ahead and doing it when the host isn't looking) can be very irritating, and far more presumptuous than stripping the bed.

Actually, I'm overjoyed when our guests strip the bed, because if they don't I'm one of those space cases who will forget to do laundry for about a month.

Nicole Marie

I would also say, plan to spend SOME time with the people you are visiting! Sometimes as a New Yorker, I feel a little used when people come and then they have their own agenda for doing things in the city and I never see them.

nyc_live

note: baked goods doesn't mean fruit cake

engtech

Never underestimate "baked goods are always appreciated"

the path to world domination is paved with delicious pie

engtech

"Leave a thank you note."

is it just me or anyone else thinks that this is a bad idea. It's like a card saying "Thank you for staying at Holiday Inn" (only its the other way around).

It's too official for me. I would rather call them and thank.

LankanDude

I've found there's a tight balance between planning to entertain yourself and accommodating your hosts' plans to entertain you.

Everything will need some level of compromise on both sides and it's best if no expectations are made on either side as well.

It's a discussion process. Politeness and frankness will always win over obsequiousness.

That being said, if your host offers to take you somewhere for the day, accept that and change whatever other plans you may have had. They are going out of their way for you and that should be appreciated.

And if you don't get to do everything you wanted to do while on your stay, if you've been a good house guest, you can always go back.

Josh

When the purpose of the visit is to spend time with the hosts rather than get some free room and board while you are in the area vacationing or on a business trip, remember these important tips:

1. Don't make your hosts' home look like your home by leaving your personal effects . . . clothing, shoes, electronic gadgets . . . strewn about the family room.

2. Don't commandeer the television for a marathon of "Sponge Bob". Try to pretend you'd like to actually visit with your hosts while you are there.

3. If you have brought some of your own entertainment such as movies on DVD to play on the family TV, don't crank up the volume to your usual double digit level to make up for the absent sense-surround equipment you are used to. Your hosts may not have damaged their hearing to the degree that apparently you have.

4. Be sensitive to your hosts' schedule for serving meals with an appreciation for the work they put into preparation by arriving with an appetite. So if dinner is to be served at 5 p.m., don't stop by Cracker Barrel at 3:30 or 4 for a "late lunch".

rolltimer

@engtech: Unless it's soaked in brandy. [www.foodnetwork.com],,FOOD_9936_8157,00.html

apparate

I would like some ideas on how to be an excellent HOST. I usually put out a full set of towels for my guests. I tell them how to turn on the TV (we have a universal remote). How to get online. I gather up a variety of magazines/books that my guests will enjoy. I put a glass next to their bed so they know they can have water at their bedside. And I have a little basket with a variety of toiletries in it so they don't have to feel embarrassed asking for a toothbrush or shampoo.

I would like to find a list like that online, though... I read some interesting things in the comments about a host doing things like putting together a list of public transportation, etc.

apparate

We live near a big sightseeing location. Friends and family will stay with us but spend a lot of time out on their own. We will often go to work while they are here. Its great for us, if our guests occasionally take care of dinner - either cooking or take out - so that we don't have to come home from work and whip up something to feed the gang all the time. In the same vein, it's good to let the hosts know when you will not be around for dinner.

When we stay with friends/family, we always cook some and/or pay for dinner out at a nice restaurant.

It is a good idea to be proactive about what you would like to see or do during your visit - do some research. Your hosts can clue you in to some great not-to-miss activities, but don't expect them to be your cruise director.

In short, enhance your quality time with your hosts while minimizing the demands on their hospitality.

fulldec

my roommate and i love having houseguests, especially when they make an effort to keep their stuff neat and organized and out of the way (it's a really small apartment). even better than a gift is offering to help out with stuff like doing dishes or feeding the cat.

theseampsgotoeleven