As a notorious BS'er turned English teacher, here are some more tips:

1) Assuming you're arguing a basic thesis in your paper, "sandwich" the weakest bit (or bits) of evidence in between stronger pieces. After your intro and thesis statement, you'll want to start strong and finish strong. The middle is where you can hide those "mumblings" you're not quite sure of.

2) Read your paper once backwards, sentence-by-sentence. Sometimes sentences seem complete when surrounded by what you know comes before and after. Take those sentences out of context, and fragments or run-ons will jump out much more.

3) If you can't "paraphrase like a champion", which is great advice, use the two-step method to paraphrase: If it's not direct-quote-worthy (few things are), paraphrase when you write your notes, and paraphrase again when you write your final draft.

witeowl

What I have seen from undergrad to post graduate journal articles is a bit of magic with calculations and conclusions performed with the words, "it clearly follows that..."

zolielo

Well, as an instructor, I'll chime in with some additions:

1) Read your draft aloud to catch common mistakes you overlook when reading silently.

2) Take advantage of your campus writing lab (that means get a draft done and show up before it's due to go over it with a tutor).

3) If you make an outline, make it an outline that you're not afraid to adapt and change during the project.

4) Most important of all, write a good thesis statement that is specific and indicates something of the structure and organization of the piece.

Greg.Rowler

Want to expand real quick on what Witeowl said about weaker points in the middle. Say you have three body paragraphs (just to make this shorter and easier to catch on) and you know which is your strongest and weakest (we'll say that "A" is the strongest, "B" is the middle, and "C" is the weakest). Then your paragraph order should be B-C-A. That way when someone starts to read it, the first paragraph sounds good so they might actually pay attention to what their reading, the middle kinda sucks but they keep reading because they think there might be better, and then they reach the end, your best paragraph. Usually people will remember the last few things that are said, so that is why you want your strongest point to be last.

Destrox

I always dislike seeing advice on Lifehacker that seems to encourage students to cut corners (e.g., by reading Sparknotes). But much of the advice in the piece you've linked to makes good sense. Some ("The thesaurus is your friend") doesn't.

I'll just add that the suggestion to add whatever facts you know, regardless of irrelevance, concerns the opposite of bull -- i.e., cow. The classic definitions, from William G. Perry's "Examsmanship and the Liberal Arts: A Study in Educational Epistemology":

cow (pure): data, however relevant, without relevancies
bull (pure): relevancies, however relevant, without data

Michael Leddy

As a teacher, I'm generally opposed to b.s. Nevertheless, I do appreciate the 10th tip, which reminds students not to manipulate font size and/or margins. Most professors include strict guidelines about these matters in their syllabi. And most can tell when these have been violated, even without measuring.

Because so many of my students have claimed that a clearly larger-than-acceptable font is "12-point on my computer," I take the time to explain what a point is, and to define the term "12-point" on my syllabi. If a student wants to claim that I'm mistaken, I'm happy to measure x-heights with a standard ruler.

nwaustin

Just keep it simple. A lotta people come out of high school thinking they have to come up with fancy new paragraph structures make their work look impressive. They end up focusing more on that than on their content. One of the only things i remember from 1st year english is PIE.

each paragraph should be made up of PIE:

1. point - what are you trying to say
2. illustration - example or fact about your point
3. explanation - don't make your reader think - tell them what they should be getting out of the example

Sticking with PIE makes BSing with a bit of knowledge easy and more importantly makes it way more reader friendly. Your prof. will probably read 20+ reports so don't try to make their life (and your mark) worse!

gajans

i agree with the strong intro and conclusion. i always make sure i copy whichever one i finished first and paste it where the other should go (normally the intro is done first, so i copy and paste it at the end of my document), then re-write it so it sounds completely different but it is saying the same thing. at least then you're consistent.

sarush

I'd like to reiterate Michael's statement that "The thesaurus is your friend" is not necessarily the best bit of advice. The thesaurus can be a good resource for getting suggestions on alternative words to use. However, many of the words listed as synonyms will actually differ slightly from the original word. Make sure you only use words you would feel comfortable enough to use while talking with a friend. If you don't use the word while talking, you probably don't know the definition well enough to use it in a paper. I've read MANY papers where students tried to "spice" up their essay by using the thesaurus to find replacements for words only to use the words incorrectly. Obviously, this can be quite detrimental to the overall quality of the paper.

ShouldBeStudyin

@zolielo: This man speaks the truth. A smart teacher will catch your "bullshit essay, good conclusion" trick, but he will not be so hesitant with an essay that seems to follow factual and logical evidence. :D

shk

Um, since when was there this much work involved in BS'ing?

BackDoorAngel

@ShouldBeStudyin: I durably harmonize with your ejaculation.

witeowl

@Michael Leddy: Amen!! Why not have more pieces about genuine strategies for learning more!

Some of these tips are good, but only the ones that aren't really BS at all. Following the directions, learning to paraphrase, not relying on spell check, outlining, writing a strong conclusion, being prepared, and not manipulating the margins and font are hardly BS strategies -- those are basic tools of the trade.

A couple pieces of advice are just bad, though. As was already noted, a thesaurus is no replacement for having a working vocabulary as synonyms are typically context specific. Likewise, I wouldn't recommend to any of my students that they try to wing it with what they already know. There is nothing more irritating than grading a paper that appears as though it should have been written for another class. Even worse is reading a crappy paper by someone who is trying to pretend to know what they are talking about but clearly do not. I do not suffer bullshit gladly, especially not from the unwashed undergrad masses...

coreyander

I've done this successfully, but I've been busted a couple of times too. You're rolling the dice, hoping that your prof isn't paying attention. In the end, it's not a sustainable practice, especially after you've left the collegiate environment.

I note that Kyle -- a college kid -- has posted this "tip".

Whatever you do, be confident in your assertions: no weasel words. Say what you think, no namby pamby, wimpy-ass hemming and hawing.

Sounding professionally authoritative, without really saying anything at all is a skill that's quite valuable in the business world, but not one that should be actively nurtured in an academic environment.

cv

As a T.A. who actually has to grade students' essays, I'll add my endorsement with number 1 and 2. I'm usually a lot more lenient with a student who may not know as much about the particular historical point that the essay asks about if they show what they are talking about than someone who can spout off big words and impressive vocabulary and doesn't really address the question.

Just answer the question, and it will be okay. Like Coreyander above, I can tell when someone is trying to just make stuff up to say that they answered the essay (isn't that the definition of BSing?)

Cheers!

mwinslett

At the risk of tooting my own horn, I'll share this link: Beware of thesaurus.

Michael Leddy

GAJANS- I like the PIE method. Another (visual) way is to think of of a diamond shape. Make your point via thesis or topic sentence (get it?), put in some examples, evidence, etc. (the widest part), then explain why these examples prove your point (the bottom point).

ARP

I'm going to catch hell for this, but Coles Notes are a great way to go. If you haven't read a particular novel or play and must write an essay, then review your class notes and find the Coles Notes on it. Familiarize yourself with the basics and go from there. Worked for me. I wrote a couple essays without ever reading the source material and things turned out surprisingly well.

cheesebubble

I have to agree with backdoorangel: we are talking about BS here, folks. If the student had been prepared to take the advice proffered, the student would be writing an actual good essay, not slacking out BS.

As a professor, here's my advice: know your enemy. Some professors you can't bs, and that's no bs. If you do try to bs, you'll shoot yourself in the foot and wind up with a worse grade than if you'd actually tried even a little.

If you think you have a prof that you can bs, just do whatever. What works with one won't work with another anyway, and it takes quite a bit of work to figure each one out, and isn't it work you're trying to avoid? Fuggedaboudit!

You pays yer money and you takes yer chances. If you've slacked off all semester and a term paper is due tomorrow, just throw something on paper and hope for the best. Why bother with all this stupid advice?

Now, on the other hand, if you actually wanted to learn something, then the advice given here (and readily available at scores of sites and dozens of books) is sound. It will help you to write a good essay. If it's too late for this semester, take your lumps and try harder next time. Every time you do try hard, you're going to learn plenty.

If you're only out for the degree, well, you'll get what you deserve.

sknox

Short-term Advice: Don't piss the cranky (read-too-many-BS-papers) professor off: I'd rather have a student come to me and say "can I get an incomplete" and turn in something worth reading after the holiday, than yet one more piece of crap to make me, well, cranky. Should you decide on that route, and if the prof. agrees, expect to do the work.

Long-term advice: So you want a job that is 1)well paid, 2)flexible, 3) something you enjoy. If you can learn to write well or understand how to run a regression you can have your pick of 1,2, or 3. If you learn how to write well about the regression you have run, you get all three.

jfkincaid

My trick for lengthening papers was to use 2.1 line spacing. It's so close to double spacing that nobody ever noticed, but it gives you like half a page extra.

morganlh85

One additional thought… I've always found that the key to nailing a high grade on a paper is a conclusion that reflects on the bigger picture. Use your conclusion to demonstrate that *you really are a scholar.* Explain: Why was your thesis worth considering? How does it affect other theories? How does it differ from the prevailing school of thought? What larger implications does it have?

Stepping back from the topic of your paper to show it in the grand context of its subject shows a higher level of critical thinking skills.

Think:
1) Introduction - capture the reader's attention and state your thesis
2) Body - prove your thesis and disprove alternative theses
3) Conclusion - restate your thesis and *interpret it*

mwebert

@morganlh85: Funny. With my level of BS, I always had to play with fonts, spacing and margins to get my papers within maximum lengths.

witeowl

>My trick for lengthening papers was to use 2.1 line spacing.

Exactly my point. As a prof, I never give a page count. I only give a word count. Any professor who gives requirements in terms of page count, margins, line spacing etc. pretty much deserves what he gets. I also set both a minimum and a maximum word count. I also require multiple drafts. Even if you start with BS, you can't keep it up.

IMO, BS in a term paper is a non-issue. Again, if it *is* an issue, then the professor deserves it.

sknox