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Let Go of Grudges
Posted by Tamar Weinberg at 3:00 AM on December 2, 2007
The Mayo Clinic writes that it is better to forgive and forget than to hold grudges. Beyond the personal anger and resentment that grudges cause, it's also bad for your health: it causes high levels of stress, high blood pressure, more anxiety, and poor anger-management skills. Instead, commit to forgive and find compassion, even if forgiveness does not yield reconciliation. Recognize the value moving forward adds to the quality of life. One who has finally forgiven someone will be more at peace, even if it is necessary to forgive again and again when memories trigger unhappiness. Ultimately, looking beyond the bad will bring much joy, and that is why it helps to achieve that much-needed closure.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
witeowl
Posted 12:36 PM 1/12/07
I don't know where I read it, but this is one of my favorite related quotes:
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
witeowl
jrobcet
Posted 12:16 PM 1/12/07
All good advice. I'm living it right now. I'm in the process of dealing with the after effects of a cheating spouse. I know it sounds corny, but letting go of all the hate and anger really will set you free. Focus on yourself and your own happiness, and forgiveness will come more naturally.
jrobcet
bojoe
Posted 11:25 AM 1/12/07
This was a Digg article earlier in the week. Link is here. [www.mayoclinic.com]
Enjoy
bojoe
Daniel Griscom
Posted 11:19 AM 1/12/07
The Mayo Clinic link doesn't seem to be clickable, either on the home page or the article page...
Daniel Griscom
Duane
Posted 5:38 PM 1/12/07
I'm not sure why, but I though the subject was "Let Go of Gurgles".
Duane
gameguy
Posted 6:33 PM 1/12/07
@WITEOWL: I love that quote!
I have trouble with grudges, because I'm slow to anger. I don't often deal with something emotionally right away, so it tends to simmer for a while.
gameguy
christian ross
Posted 6:11 PM 1/12/07
That Mayo Clinic is smart.
Or maybe it was that Jesus guy.
christian ross
Major-General
Posted 9:14 PM 1/12/07
"Give up your sense of injury and the injury itself." Marcus Aurelius
See, this advice isn't all that new.
Major-General
Dravidian
Posted 4:07 AM 2/12/07
Great advice. Focusing your energies on positive things always yields positive results. Don't waste your energy on negative thinking or emotions because it won't yield anything of use to you.
Dravidian
Dooga
Posted 4:03 AM 2/12/07
Sorry for the double post of comments. I didn't expect the comment system to render my HTML.
Anyways, HTML accident "a href-" instead of "a href="
Dooga
Dooga
Posted 4:00 AM 2/12/07
Uh oh HTML accident:
""
:P
Dooga
AndyFromTucson
Posted 9:41 AM 2/12/07
@christian ross: Or maybe it was an even higher authority who stated it as a law:
"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18.
AndyFromTucson
ironchef
Posted 11:50 AM 2/12/07
@AndyFromTucson:
Which seems to contradict Exodus 21:23-27
ironchef
onesix18
Posted 1:23 PM 3/12/07
Applicables quotes:
"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." --attributed to Confucius
"Pain is certain, suffering is optional." --attributed to Buddha
onesix18
MrKawfy
Posted 10:06 AM 2/12/07
I have a grudge against the Lord and his unthinking followers, but I just can't let go. Damn.
MrKawfy
randyfeldman
Posted 3:46 PM 1/12/07
I too have been the target of outher people's unacceptable words and deeds.
After 50 years of following the information in this article to no avail I have decided to take another route. I sat down with a pencil and paper and listed all the people that are in my life.
I then made a score card of sorts and ELIMINATED the people that did not have a positive effect on my life. This has been difficult as some of these people who are being left out of my life are child hood friends and parents.
With that said, I have much less stress and am a happier person.By not being around these people I have not had the 'knots in my stomach' that I once had when I spoke to them or were in their company.
An interesting benifit to ths theroy... My in-laws no longer shoot barbs and insults at me! They know that they are on my short list.
The next 50 years are mine!
randyfeldman
swalerroe7
Posted 11:49 AM 1/12/07
I am the type of person you describe as holding grudges and resentment. Recently, I had to change personal trainers(after 11 mo. and reaching my goals) due to my "falling for her" all of this was on me and not her at all. Now, I resent her and what occurred but things are starting to heal-up and she is no-longer working at this gym(not due to me) so I'll be ok ! I want closure to this situation and seek peace...thanks ....swalerroe7
swalerroe7