I just read a really interesting article by Adele Horen in The Age, about a conference on happiness held by buddhist teaching group, the Vajrayana Institute. One of the presenters was a Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, who says that people are very bad at predicting what will make them happy.
He said that while often people choose having kids as a path to happiness, studies have shown that happiness is in fact adversely affected by having kids, and doesn't return to its previous level until the kids move out of home (ouch!).
The upshot was that we have a biological urge to reproduce, but we don't have a biological urge to do things to make us happy.
Another presenter - a professor of psychology and psychiatry - had studied MRIs of buddhist monks and said that meditation is a way of changing the "hardwiring" of our brains to achieve greater happiness and compassion.
Most people do seem to struggle with balancing their short term versus long term goals, and their need versus wants. So my question is - what gives you happiness in life - and if it took you a while to figure it out, how did you get there?

Happiness is... not having children [The Age]

If you want to increase your happiness, check out this list of 9 ways you can improve your life - by treating yourself like a cat! It was the best thing I read yesterday by a long shot - it was nice to be reminded that while we might lavish our feline friends with the best care, we sometimes neglect ourselves.

The list includes those perennial feline favourite activities like stretching, napping and bathing, as well as a call to pay attention to what you eat:

"I stopped free-feeding my cats and they lost weight, yet I kept stuffing my own face and stayed overweight! Eat protein, eat vitamin and mineral rich foods and the right sort of fats. Check out the complexity of your pedigree cat food and compare to your own diet. Eat grass. I provide cat grass for my cats and they chew on it every day before each meal. Fibre and fresh leafy greens are essential for us every day."

The list comes courtesy of the multi-talented Kate Conroy - the producer and presenter of environmental online radio show and podcast A Climate Affair.

Like what Kate has to say? Check out her Lifehacker interview and her Climate Affair podcast.

Treat yourself like a cat [Serenity Now]

Does waking up in the morning always feel like lining up for a race you'll never finish? If so, Trent at The Simple Dollar finance blog has a suggestion for both your mood and your daily tasks. First off, make a list of every goal you're trying to reach, ranging from "Clean the fridge" to "Start long-term investment plan." Then ...

Go through that list and eliminate a lot of them. Eliminate the ones that don't leave you yearning to achieve them. Keep them only if you absolutely must do them. Try really hard to winnow the list down as small as you can.

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A bad start to the day can set the tone for your whole day - so The Simple Dollar suggests building a morning routine which starts each day on a positive note. Writer Trent says: "My average morning starts off with a shower, a small and energetic breakfast, some logic puzzles, and then, eventually, a period of time with my kids."
Here are some of his suggestions for creating a positive mood for yourself in the morning:

*A breakfast of fruit or oatmeal Something healthy, natural, and full of energy to start your day.
*A shower Start off things by taking a long, soaking shower, cleaning you off, revitalizing you, and getting you ready to go for the day.
*Meditation or prayer Early morning might be the best time to get in touch with your spiritual side, especially if it’s something that brings positive value to your life.
*A brief taste of your favorite hobby Read a book chapter or play a quick game to start things off.

I'd add one other suggestion - a burst of enjoyable outdoor activity. A mild walk or something a bit more energetic to get your heartrate up for a few minutes. Exposure to some sunlight gets you a dose of Vitamin D and can help lift your mood. I love going for a morning walk in the park near my house because lots of people walk their dogs there and I get to watch them playing. It always puts a smile on my face.
Got any suggestions for the best way to start your day on the right foot? Please share in comments.

Investing in Yourself: Feel Good [The Simple Dollar]

Today is as good a day as any to put your friends and family first and to make their day. Need inspiration? Socyberty offers ten ideas, from giving movie tickets to someone who has been working quite hard lately to leaving a generous tip to your waiter. Be spontaneous and write a thank you note to someone who has had an impact on you or someone you care about. Lend a shoulder to a co-worker who has had a bad day and add some humour to the events to make them smile. Give a homeless person some food to eat. Read a story to a friend's child. How do you give of yourself to those who live around you? Let's hear your feel-good tips in the comments.

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The Washington Post digs into the imperfect science of happiness and finds a few common "rules" that govern how we find and value happiness, many of them related to decisions and uncertainty. For instance, a number of experiments have shown that people tend to overestimate the consequences of events and decisions, to their detriment:

Torn between life choices? The experimental results suggest the worst option is usually indecision -- no matter what choice people make, they are more likely to be okay with the consequences than if they stay on the fence.

A study noted in the article also found that those who had to definitely choose a free item to take home with them ended up happier with their picks than those who were given the option of returning them later. Makes me think twice about some of my electronics purchasing habits. Photo by Pσrcelαΐηgΐrl°.

Have you ever been sad over mistakes of the past? Sure, we all have. Have you ever looked around at your environment and thought about effectuating change within it? If not, perhaps you should, because those changes will be reflected within yourself. Website Hack Yourself contains a collection of articles that are intended to bring you into moments of increased self-awareness, of excitement about living, and about being happy. It's not worth it to dwell on the past; just look at the present and toward the future. Find the demons within you and exorcise them—you don't need to let negative perceptions permeate your thoughts.

Amaze yourself with spontaneity and let go of the obstacles that you feel are getting in the way of your successes. The collection of articles within Hack Yourself are very short and the entire website is not a terribly long read, so if you're really looking to stroll down the path of self-improvement for 2008, it's highly recommended. Photo by sillydog.

The New York Times takes a look at the culture of perfectionism, suggesting that the tenets of the perfectionist—when applied to things like personal relationships or when taken too far at the workplace—can take a serious toll on your happiness. As part of a study at U.C. Davis, employee assistance counselor Alice Provost forced perfectionists to:

Leave work on time. Don't arrive early. Take all the breaks allowed. Leave the desk a mess. Allow yourself a set number of tries to finish a job; then turn in what you have.

The results? Much to the surprise of the perfectionists, everything continued to function as usual, and much of their perfection-motivated worries weren't all that important. If you've got similar perfectionist inclinations—or you're just in the spirit of the holidays—give yourself a break and give this exercise a go. While you're at it, here are 10 other ways to defeat brain drain. Photo by ewitch.

The Mayo Clinic writes that it is better to forgive and forget than to hold grudges. Beyond the personal anger and resentment that grudges cause, it's also bad for your health: it causes high levels of stress, high blood pressure, more anxiety, and poor anger-management skills. Instead, commit to forgive and find compassion, even if forgiveness does not yield reconciliation. Recognize the value moving forward adds to the quality of life. One who has finally forgiven someone will be more at peace, even if it is necessary to forgive again and again when memories trigger unhappiness. Ultimately, looking beyond the bad will bring much joy, and that is why it helps to achieve that much-needed closure.

Research that shows doing something out of your comfort zone—a new project, a more challenging job—triggers happy-making chemicals in your brain. Career adviser Penelope Trunk says you can apply this helpful info at the office, but:

What about at home? You watch TV, surf from your sofa, cook dinner but don't venture past pasta. Instead, use the same standards at home that you have at work: If you are not challenging yourself and learning to do new things at home, Burns' research suggests that satisfaction with your life will be elusive.

No doubt a whole lot of us plop down on the couch after work to watch primetime TV or maybe play a little Halo, and that can get to be a drag after awhile. Variety is the spice of life. How do you spice up your life outside work? Let us know in the comments.