conversation
Communicate
Use Clever Questions To Ease Into Small Talk
9:30PM Kevin Purdy | For some most of us, making “small talk” while in an elevator, waiting in line, or made to “network” isn’t fun, or easy. Thomas Farley, editor of Modern Manners, offers a few tips on getting by. Farley recommends opening any socially-forced conversation with a “wry observation phrased as a question,” rather than jamming out your hand for a shake or blurting your name. You could, in certain situations, wonder aloud whether you’re at a popular tech conference or a massive iPhone field test. Or wonder aloud what everyone at the office is thinking, with just a hint of rebellious humor. However you break in, you should start thinking ahead into how you’ll further affirm your rapport: As you listen to the reply, prep your next move. Aim for 15-second bursts that segue into further questions. The How-To snippets are short enough you could almost text them to yourself, and certainly condense with some acronyms, if you really needed a last-minute guide. What’s the most surprisingly effective way you’ve found to get over shyness and chat someone up? Hit us up in the comments. Photo by dominiekth. Make Small Talk [Wired How-To Wiki] More »
Communicate
Take The Fear Out Of Talking To Strangers
1:15AM Kevin Purdy | Being randomly friendly and striking up a talk with someone you don’t know is, as wikiHow puts it, the “social equivalent of skydiving.” And probably not as hard as you might think. More »
Communicate
Top 10 Conversation Hacks
2:00AM Gina Trapani | A whole lot more than just words passes between people who are talking, so a few simple conversational skills can help you recognise what’s really being said and help you lead the discussion your way. Learn how to read body language and facial expressions, de-code euphemisms, ask sensitive questions, criticize constructively, get what you want in negotiations, cut off chatterboxes, and more with our top 10 conversation hacks. Photo by PhillipC. More »
Improve Your Listening by Mirroring Gestures
7:25AM Kevin Purdy | Failing to listen during an important conversation not only requires you to ask questions later, it can give off the impression of not caring, even if it’s really just bad habits. Workplace consultant Gretchen Neels tells the New York Times’ Shifting Careers blog that subtly “mirroring” the gestures of the person you’re listening to—they lean their head to the left, you lean to the right—can push your brain into listening and leave a reassuring impression. While this might sound odd, apparently this kind of activity puts you into the same groove. Ms. Neels says that if you are with friends and feeling very connected, you are probably mirroring each other’s body language since it’s something people automatically do in situations where they are comfortable. Not a bad trick, but you might want to practice it on a spouse or a friend who can laugh at you first. How do you force yourself into receptive listening if it’s not in the cards for that moment? Share your tips in the comments. Photo by b d solis. What? [NYT / Shifting Careers blog] More »
Use a Sandwich or Coffee to Give Thoughtful Answers
2:39AM Kevin Purdy | Web Worker Daily lets a chief web builder at HP.com tell a rare story—one of senior management leaving a meeting with his workers still respecting his answers and the consideration he gave them. His secret, strange as it might seem, was to keep his lunch sandwich nearby to immediately bite into upon being asked a question, along with a soda for quicker but still-important questions. This wouldn’t work if you’re the type to talk with your mouth full, of course, but substitute an acceptable-most-anywhere coffee or water and you’ve got a way to create needed pauses in conversation without, as the post puts it, “remaining silent for 15 seconds while staring at the ceiling.” Might be worth trying at your next performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas. Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People [Web Worker Daily] More »
One Simple Tip for Less Awkward Conversations
2:00AM Kevin Purdy | The Positivity Blog says there’s a simple but forgotten method of building rapport, or establishing a good connection, before you start off on any important conversation: Just before the meeting, you just think that you’ll be meeting a good friend. Then you’ll naturally slip into a more comfortable, confident and enjoyable emotional state and frame of mind. This also helps you and the other people to set a good frame for the interaction … The thing is that the frame that is set in the beginning of the conversation is often one that may stay on for a while. First impressions last. Of course, you may not always want to pretend you’re meeting with Cousin Steve when you’re heading into, say, a job interview, so the author suggests imagining how a previous, successful meeting went just before stepping in. Have your own mental reassurance hacks for striking up chatter? Share ‘em in the comments. Photo by polandeze. How to Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport [The Positivity Blog] More »
