Dear Lifehacker, I have a few coworkers that always seem to be at my desk talking to me. Whether I’m in the middle of a task and obviously working or I’m trying to talk on the phone or I’m having lunch or a snack at my desk, these folks keep coming up to socialise. I like them, and our office environment is pretty casual, so I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but how can I make them stop bothering me when I’m trying to work or eat at my desk? Thanks, Not-So-Chatty Kathy More »
In every organisation, at some point, a worker comes along with an intolerable smell, personal space issues, lack of volume control, or one of many problems that negatively affect your work environment and are particularly awkward to confront. While there’s really no way to resolve your discomfort, when it’s time to tell your coworker the truth there are definitely good ways to get the job done. Here’s how. More »
This weekend sees the grand finals for both the AFL and NRL, so the topic of football is going to be hard to escape. Here are a few basic conversational gambits if you have no interest whatsoever but don’t want to confess your ignorance. More »
Sure, Prince Philip’s main claim to fame is an unparalleled ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but sixty years of meeting people presumably gives you a lot of practice at small talk. His strategy for making conversation? Never talk about yourself. More »
If you’re trying to improve your listening skills or impress upon the speaker that they have your undivided attention it’s better to err on the side of stillness. More »
For some most of us, making “small talk” while in an elevator, waiting in line, or made to “network” isn’t fun, or easy. Thomas Farley, editor of Modern Manners, offers a few tips on getting by. Farley recommends opening any socially-forced conversation with a “wry observation phrased as a question,” rather than jamming out your hand for a shake or blurting your name. You could, in certain situations, wonder aloud whether you’re at a popular tech conference or a massive iPhone field test. Or wonder aloud what everyone at the office is thinking, with just a hint of rebellious humor. However you break in, you should start thinking ahead into how you’ll further affirm your rapport: As you listen to the reply, prep your next move. Aim for 15-second bursts that segue into further questions.
The How-To snippets are short enough you could almost text them to yourself, and certainly condense with some acronyms, if you really needed a last-minute guide. What’s the most surprisingly effective way you’ve found to get over shyness and chat someone up? Hit us up in the comments. Photo by dominiekth. Make Small Talk [Wired How-To Wiki]
Being randomly friendly and striking up a talk with someone you don’t know is, as wikiHow puts it, the “social equivalent of skydiving.” And probably not as hard as you might think.
A whole lot more than just words passes between people who are talking, so a few simple conversational skills can help you recognise what’s really being said and help you lead the discussion your way. Learn how to read body language and facial expressions, de-code euphemisms, ask sensitive questions, criticize constructively, get what you want in negotiations, cut off chatterboxes, and more with our top 10 conversation hacks. Photo by PhillipC.
Failing to listen during an important conversation not only requires you to ask questions later, it can give off the impression of not caring, even if it’s really just bad habits. Workplace consultant Gretchen Neels tells the New York Times’ Shifting Careers blog that subtly “mirroring” the gestures of the person you’re listening to—they lean their head to the left, you lean to the right—can push your brain into listening and leave a reassuring impression. While this might sound odd, apparently this kind of activity puts you into the same groove. Ms. Neels says that if you are with friends and feeling very connected, you are probably mirroring each other’s body language since it’s something people automatically do in situations where they are comfortable.
Not a bad trick, but you might want to practice it on a spouse or a friend who can laugh at you first. How do you force yourself into receptive listening if it’s not in the cards for that moment? Share your tips in the comments. Photo by b d solis. What? [NYT / Shifting Careers blog]
Web Worker Daily lets a chief web builder at HP.com tell a rare story—one of senior management leaving a meeting with his workers still respecting his answers and the consideration he gave them. His secret, strange as it might seem, was to keep his lunch sandwich nearby to immediately bite into upon being asked a question, along with a soda for quicker but still-important questions. This wouldn’t work if you’re the type to talk with your mouth full, of course, but substitute an acceptable-most-anywhere coffee or water and you’ve got a way to create needed pauses in conversation without, as the post puts it, “remaining silent for 15 seconds while staring at the ceiling.” Might be worth trying at your next performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas. Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People [Web Worker Daily]
