communicate
Top 10 Conversation Hacks
Posted by Gina Trapani at 2:00 AM on August 7, 2008

A whole lot more than just words passes between people who are talking, so a few simple conversational skills can help you recognise what's really being said and help you lead the discussion your way. Learn how to read body language and facial expressions, de-code euphemisms, ask sensitive questions, criticize constructively, get what you want in negotiations, cut off chatterboxes, and more with our top 10 conversation hacks. Photo by PhillipC.

Failing to listen during an important conversation not only requires you to ask questions later, it can give off the impression of not caring, even if it's really just bad habits. Workplace consultant Gretchen Neels tells the New York Times' Shifting Careers blog that subtly "mirroring" the gestures of the person you're listening to—they lean their head to the left, you lean to the right—can push your brain into listening and leave a reassuring impression.
Web Worker Daily lets a chief web builder at HP.com tell a rare story—one of senior management leaving a meeting with his workers still respecting his answers and the consideration he gave them. His secret, strange as it might seem, was to keep his lunch sandwich nearby to immediately bite into upon being asked a question, along with a soda for quicker but still-important questions. This wouldn't work if you're the type to talk with your mouth full, of course, but substitute an acceptable-most-anywhere coffee or water and you've got a way to create needed pauses in conversation without, as the post puts it, "remaining silent for 15 seconds while staring at the ceiling." Might be worth trying at your next performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas.
Learning how to initiate that first conversation can be tough, but it doesn't have to be. Break the ice with meaningful conversations instead. For example, if you're meeting someone for the first time, don't make a negative comment about the event that you're both attending. Ask the right questions to indicate an interest in the person you're speaking to. Find common ground with your peers. Say something smart or witty. It really doesn't take much to kick things off, and it's great for networking in just about any social situation. Photo by