The Best Way To Suck Up To Someone Without Sounding Like A Kiss Arse

If you don’t always see eye to eye with your boss, and you want to get in their good graces, a little sucking up might be in order. Doing it the wrong way, however, can make you look even worse. The trick is to fool yourself into liking them.

Photo by Jason Ippolito.

In a study led by James D. Westphal and Guy Shani from the University of Michigan, and published in the Academy of Management Journal, suggests the most effective way to suck up to someone without being totally obvious is to convince yourself that you like things about that person.

You may never like the person overall, but with a little thought, you can find something to latch onto. Westphal recommends you focus on the commonalities you have with that person. Look for traits and qualities you like in yourself, then make an effort to admire those things and give credit.

People can detect feigned smiles and faked compliments, but if you actually like someone, you don’t need to act. Your actions, comments, and compliments will sound sincere because you actually believe what you’re saying.

Psyched-up to Suck-up: Self-regulated Cognition, Interpersonal Influence, and Recommendations for Board Appointments in the Corporate Elite

[Academy of Management Journal via ScienceOfUs]