Good marriages take work. So do bad marriages and so-so marriages, come to think of it. In fact, pretty much every marriage is destined to fail if you don’t listen to your partner and put in the hard yakka. For those who don’t want to become another divorce statistic, this infographic of social science hacks could help you to iron out what’s wrong before it’s too late to fix things.
The infographic below was compiled by our colleagues over at Business Insider. It breaks down some of the best social science findings about what makes good relationships last. While a few are centric to the US, the lion’s share are pretty universal. Hopefully, you and your better half ticks most of these boxes!
[Via Business Insider]
Comments
One response to “7 Things You Need To Know Before Getting Married [Infographic]”
They’re all good points, except 2. This section confuses the topics of love and lust. I think you grow to love more about your partner over time. Then again, maybe that’s just me. I notice more small wonderful things about my wife than I ever did in the earlier years.
I would also add,
8. Be mindful of your partner’s preferred behaviour/role relative to your own. Some partners are more dominating and some are easy going, some want a true equal. Make sure you understand your own and your partner’s preferred behaviour/position as it is likely to make or break a relationship. It’s far less about who does the washing up and far more about leading, decision making, taking initiative, respecting opinions, etc. It can also be tricky with a passive partner who has the occasional strong opinion as one partner gets used to playing a role. For example, if one partner assumes they are always dominant, things fall apart when the other partner feels strongly about something and is ignored.
9. Decide on key aspects of your relationship before committing. Having a family and number of kids? Who will have the primary career (one/both)? How to manage finance and assets (combined/separate/whose name)? Pets and pets in the house/bedroom?
10. Know yourself as well as your partner. For example, I really dislike sexist people and I often have run-ins with feminists who say things like “domestic violence is a man thing” or “we must have 50% of women in an industry” – both of which are very common and sexist attitudes. It would not be possible for me to live with a person who can’t see past their own gender and held such sexist attitudes. Understanding my own firm belief means that I needed a person who agreed that “violence can come from anyone” or “let people do the career THEY want because there is no guarantee of 50% of anything in this life” or “understanding the difference between equality of opportunity and equality of output” (again, sexist people do not want to differentiate these concepts or do not understand the difference). Failure to understand the essence of your partner before you commit will lead to friction, sometimes fatal to a relationship.
My wife was the first woman I ever met who, like me, wanted an equal. We are not the same, but we do not see either of us as better or worse. I’ve been married happily for about 20 years. My wife is honest, intelligent, assertive, confident and NOT a feminist/sexist. That’s the way I like it!
8. Their name.