Bring Back Dry Humping [NSFW]

Remember when you were a desperate teenager, furiously dry humping on the basement sofa in the throes of young passion? Don’t leave dry humping in the dust: do it tonight.

Why you should do this tonight

Dry humping can be fun for so many reasons. It can bring back nostalgic memories of those simpler times when just rubbing up on someone and making out for hours was enough to satisfy you sexually.

But the best reason to consider adding dry humping back into your repertoire is simply that it feels good. Rubbing against another person and feeling their desire build is hot. Dry humping works particularly well for women, especially those who incorporate firm pressure or grinding into their masturbation routines. Ladies, if you used to masturbate as a child by climbing jungle gym poles or ropes, by rubbing yourself on the edge of a desk or mattress, or by humping hard objects like a remote control, there’s a high likelihood you can orgasm from dry humping.

Humping can be an incredible tease. You can use it to elongate foreplay until you’re both desperate for more contact. Or you can make it even more taunting and not allow each other any sort of release.

Dry humping is also some of the safest sex that you can have. The chances of getting an STI or getting pregnant are incredibly low, but you should of course be careful about having skin contact with bodily fluids.

Who should do this tonight

Dry humping does not discriminate against sexual orientation; it works for anyone and everyone! It’s also an activity you can enjoy on your own, by dry humping pillows, mattresses or sofa cushions (let your imagination be your guide!).

Dry humping is also fun for mixing things up in the bedroom. If you’re tired of your same old routine, try having an evening (or heck, an entire week!) where all you’re allowed to do is dry hump each other. It can turn into an incredibly hot tease. You can even try not allowing each other to orgasm, just to up the sexual frustration.

Some men may also find that they can last longer dry humping than any other sexual activity. If orgasmic timing is an issue in your relationship, dry humping could offer one way to prolong your intimate moments. You could either make the humping the main event, or hump as foreplay.

How to do this tonight

This is an easy one to initiate. Simply ask your partner, “did you ever used to dry hump when you were a teenager?” Or start to rub up against your partner while you’re kissing. If they make a move to remove their clothes or yours, put your hand over theirs and say, “this is feeling really good right now. Want to continue?”

Good positions for dry humping include good ol’ Missionary and spooning (you can initiate some great lazy-day dry humping while you’re spooning on the couch watching TV). Or try having one partner sit on the other’s lap, with both partners facing each other. Women may enjoy straddling their partner’s thigh. Another option is to use your hands for an over-the-pants-handjob, perhaps as foreplay for a full-on dry humping session?

The clothes you wear while dry humping can make a huge difference. Some people like the rough, restricted feeling of jeans (If you’re a dude, you may need to reach down and adjust your pants to make sure your penis doesn’t rub right against the fly). If that feels too intense for you, try exercise shorts or just your underwear. Avoid belt buckles like the plague!

If you’re a woman, you’ll want to get a sense of if you like indirect stimulation, or if you like trying to spread your labia (reach down with your hand to do so) to get more intense clitoral stimulation.

From there, just go to town and hump away! Unlike intercourse, dry humping doesn’t require any fancy angles or techniques. Hump to your heart’s content!

Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specialising in sex therapy. It’s her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom.