How To Alter Your Masturbation Routine For Better Sex [NSFW]

How To Alter Your Masturbation Routine For Better Sex [NSFW]

Masturbation is loads of fun, but when it starts hindering your sex life, it’s time to switch it up. If you’re having erectile difficulties, early ejaculation issues, or problems orgasming at all, here are some simple ways to tweak your masturbation habits and fix your performance issues.

If You Can’t Get Hard With A Partner

The Problem: Most men have been masturbating for decades, and they have honed in on a very specific technique that they use over and over again. Optimising your approach works well when you’re on your own, but can wreak havoc when you start having sex with a partner. Your body might be so used to your specific touch that it has a hard time responding to your partner’s. Or you may have masturbated in a way that’s not possible to replicate with a partner, like sandwiching your penis between your mattress and box springs (yes, lots of guys do this).

The Solution: If you’ve been masturbating in the same way for decades, it can take some time to train your body to respond to other types of stimulation, but it’s definitely doable. There are an endless number of ways to masturbate, so discovering new techniques can be a very enlivening process. I’ve been downright impressed by the creativity evident in some of my clients’ masturbation techniques. I’ve heard about renegade male masturbators made out of Ziploc bags, fresh vegetables, and even Pringles cans (once you pop you can’t stop?) If you’re feeling less adventurous, you can switch up your stroke, try different levels of speed or pressure, use non-dominant hand, or try using lube or a sex toy. Reddit’s /r/sex subreddit can be a good source of inspiration. Here’s a thread to get you started. If you’re single right now, try using different masturbation techniques at least half of the time you masturbate. If you’re in a relationship, try banishing your old standby technique until your dick starts being more responsive to a wider variety of touch.

Another option is to take a complete hiatus from masturbation to increase your overall sensitivity. If you’ve been masturbating multiple times a day, or if you’ve been paying more attention to porn instead of your body, you may be desensitising your penis. Fortunately, these effects aren’t lasting. Regular breaks of a week or more can help increase the level of sensation you experience.

If You Ejaculate Too Quickly

The Problem: When you were learning to masturbate as a boy, you most likely had the sense that masturbation was “wrong”. You probably tried to get the deed done as quickly as possible, to avoid being caught. Over the years, you trained your body to reach orgasm ASAP, perhaps even in mere seconds. Then you hit adulthood, and all of a sudden you want something completely different from your dick: to last longer instead of orgasming as quickly as possible! The penis doesn’t usually respond too well to this confusing change of events.

The Solution: Fortunately, you can train yourself to last longer with masturbation. Think about how long you’d like to last during your preferred partnered sexual activities. Aim to last that long for at least half of your masturbation sessions (again, if you’re in a relationship now and wanting faster results, try to last longer during every masturbation session). Want to last 15 minutes during intercourse? Don’t let yourself orgasm until you’ve masturbated for at least 15 minutes. You can practice this by edging yourself. As you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, take your hand off your penis and take a few slow, deep breaths until that feeling of imminent orgasm starts to subside. Start back up again, and repeat this stop-and-start pattern until you’ve reached your optimal time limit. It might feel like you’re doing this a thousand times at first, but it will become easier with time.

You can also get better at recognising what happens in your body in the moments right before orgasm. The more familiar you are with each step leading up to “the point of no return”, the less likely you’ll be to get caught off guard by a quick orgasm when you’re with a partner.

Another technique is to try doing Kegel exercises while you masturbate. You can locate your PC muscles, the ones used in Kegels, by trying to cut off your flow of urine before your bladder is full. You can train these muscles by squeezing and releasing (when you’re not peeing). The stronger these muscles get, the greater control you can have over your orgasm. Most men know about Kegels, but don’t tend to practice them during masturbation. When you’re masturbating, try pulsing your PC muscles repeatedly. As you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, try squeezing and holding the muscles, and see how that affects your ability to keep your orgasm under control.

There’s also the old standby technique of masturbating before you know you’re going to hook up. It’s not the most reliable trick, but in a pinch, it can occasionally help you last longer.

If You Take Too Long to Orgasm (Or Can’t Orgasm At All)

The Problem: You hear a lot about premature ejaculation, but plenty of men have the opposite problem: taking too long. This is also a consequence of using a very specific or unusual masturbation technique, since it’s harder to orgasm when you aren’t using that method. For example, many men use a very firm grip on their penises when they masturbate (colloquially dubbed the “death grip”), and and can’t get hard without that extra pressure.

The Solution: As I suggested under the erectile difficulties section, try using different masturbation techniques for a while, to get your body used to responding to a wider variety of stimulation.

For some men, there’s an element of control that comes up. They like being the ones stimulating themselves, and have a hard time responding to another person’s touch. If you feel like that may be the case for you, try playing with masturbation techniques where you’re not in full control of the stimulation. Sex toys are a potential solution here, like the Auto Blow 2, an oral sex simulator. Or you can try masturbating without your hands, perhaps by pinning a male masturbator like the Tenga Flip in between the aforementioned mattress and box spring, and thrusting into it. Another option is, once again, to take a brief hiatus from masturbation.

There may also be men out there who could benefit from the opposite approach: incorporating masturbation into your partnered sex life. If your partner tends to orgasm quicker than you, and you feel comfortable with your masturbation habits, there’s nothing wrong with helping yourself along when you’re with a partner. Use your own hand to get closer to orgasm before resuming sex with your partner. Masturbating in front of your partner can be an incredibly sexy experience for both of you!

The bottom line here is to be mindful about the role masturbation plays in your life. Being honest about your habits and working on developing healthier patterns can greatly improve the quality of your sex life!


This story has been updated since its original publication.


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