Some of us have a tendency to compare our talents and abilities to others, and get down on ourselves when we don’t measure up. While striving to be better is a good thing, it’s also important to be proud of our abilities and achievements, and not get discouraged by unrealistic expectations.
Photo by ollyy (Shutterstock)
Nicole Antoinette at A Life Less Bullshit breaks it down:
One of the most self-limiting stories I tell myself is that I’m not a “real” athlete. I’m a runner, sure, but in my mind I’m not an athlete — or at least not a real one — and I can feel that that perception is holding me back because it leaves me feeling like I’m constantly on the outside, looking in, at the life I want but “can’t have.”
It’s actually one of the most common negative stories, I think, this idea that you’re not a “real” whatever — a real adult, a real runner, a real writer, a real cook — and it’s stories like these that leave us feeling like impostors in our own lives.
And it all stems from comparison. From comparing ourselves to what we see other people doing and how we assume they feel, and it’s so easy to be intimidated by that, isn’t it? To tell yourself that you’re not a “real” healthy eater because that dude over there is doing it so much better. And to tell yourself that you’re not a “real” entrepreneur because you’re not doing all of the things that one girl you know is doing. Nope, you’re not real. You’re faking it.
Believing we aren’t a “real” whatever is just an excuse for mediocrity. If you like to cook, but tell yourself that you aren’t a real cook, you’re putting up an unnecessary mental hurdle to improving. In effect, you’re letting yourself off the hook for not honing your skills in something you enjoy. Nicole suggests that instead, you should find what you love to do, set ambitious-but-reasonable expectations for yourself, and strive to improve. Be sure to check out the source link to see how she transformed her own self-image from “someone who runs” to a “runner.”
Fill In the Blank: I’m Not a “Real” _____ [A Life Less Bullshit]