Lovehacker: Beating The Squeaky Bed Blues

You know how it is. You’re away with your significant other at a romantic B&B. The setting is rustic, the house is quiet and you look at each other that special way. One thing leads to another and you’re on that spectacular four-poster bed. And then comes the squeaking.

So, how can you continue your unbridled enthusiasm for each other without making it obvious to the neighbours that you’re … you know where I’m going with this.

Sure, you could move a little more conservatively but there is an easier way to stop the bed from squeaking. Assuming the bed is large enough — queen and king size beds are best — don’t “use the bed” in the usual top to bottom arrangement. Lie across the bed. Your motion will then be along a stronger, less flexible axis. This will reduce the squeaks and let you get down to business without alerting your neighbours to events in your domain.