How To Send Back Restaurant Food

@leahzero: Things like this are why I rarely bother eating out. It's too much of a game, with weird overtones of dominance, control, and punishment/reward.

Look, it's only that way if that's how you approach it. If every meal is an exercise in the accounting of grievances, then yes, you're going to have a stressful time.

But normal people budget, go out to someplace they like, order off the menu, enjoy their food, and then when it comes to tip, say "am I happy and satisfied? Yep. 20% tip. Move the decimal and multiply by 2."

God, the whole point is for you to have a good time. The people who insist on sending a fine-grained signal about the level of service and accounting for every little spilled drop of soda and extra second taken to get dessert and the check, they're just miserable people. (Not to mention that whatever signal they hoped to send with their tip got lost in all the noise of people who got excellent service but tipped like skinflints anyway.)

Worrying about tips is pretty pointless. You budget for it, it's just a cost of eating out, like whatever you might pay for parking in that part of town. Get used to it, budget for it, and dining out seems a lot less like a job interview and a lot more like a good time out.

crashfrog

@rjflyn: You are perfectly free to decide for yourself to have worms crawling around your intestine after eating undercooked meat, or the possibility of botulism. That's your choice.

But don't demonstrate the stupidity of telling others to do the same, or the further stupidity of inferring that others are wrong for taking basic precautions to protect their health.

P_Smith

@Fierock: Haha I hate to say it, but comping your table was just about the only thing they could do. You bite down on glass in their food and they risk a giant lawsuit, so it was probably a quick and dirty cost/benefit analysis. I would've been very mad if it happened to me and they comped only my meal and acted like they were doing me a favor. And if they just replaced it without any compensation? I think I would have found a lawyer.

I've never had a horrible experience in a restaurant besides dealing with moody waitstaff. But I am absolutely of the opinion that a waiter needs to at least make an effort to make my meal enjoyable to get a decent-sized (like over 10%) tip. If they're pissy the whole time and are hardly acknowledging my existence, then I tip barely 10%. If I can tell that they care about my meal and comfort and feel like I am welcomed, then I typically leave upwards of 25-30%. But then again I'm a southern guy, so hospitality is a must.

@the_wiggle: It's considered to be an insult to the chef's cooking if you don't taste it before salting it. You're sending the message that you think the chef didn't prepare your food correctly without even bothering to check.

@four12:
...treat your server like a human being.

This is the simplest and best answer.

I recognize that my server isn't the one cooking my food, and that they're doing a difficult job that pays for shit, and I see how other people behave and treat them.

Funny thing is that I know people who have worked in the service industry who are bigger jerks to servers than anyone else. They get this attitude of "I've done the job so I know what you're doing wrong", and treat them like crap.

I don't like eating out with those people.

Anyways, any time I have ever had to send food back (like for instance I always get steak rare, and I'm not too picky if it's been cooked a bit more than my taste, but if it's well done, I'm gonna send it back), I'm usually apologizing more than the server.

Reason being is that I know that, at best, things are like a machine when you're working, and a problem arising is like a cog sticking. No, it's not my fault, and no it's not their fault, but it's happening.

Things like this are why I rarely bother eating out. It's too much of a game, with weird overtones of dominance, control, and punishment/reward. I like to relax during meals, not constantly scrutinize the staff's work performance, or wonder if I'm tipping enough to not have my food contaminated. I feel for the hard-working people who wait on others, but the whole system seems bizarre and needlessly stressful to me, and it's made that way because of tipping.

Waitstaff should definitely be paid at least minimum wage, and difficult, demanding jobs should pay higher, but that's idealism. The system isn't going to change any time soon, so I just opt out of it.

It seems archetypically American to want to deal with work-like stress, competition, struggle for control, and criticism in every situation, including dinner.

@tc4001:

We have the "throw returned food away" law in Texas as well and it quickly teaches you cook to take care the first time, lest the bussers be angry when their trash cans are full every 20 minutes :P

@crashfrog:

This. A waiter doesn't get paid to treat you like you're the only table that exists. A waiter gets paid to take your order, deliver your food (if there isn't already a food runner) and collect the check. Theres no reason to stiff somebody just because they were a bit late in taking your order or if you have to wait while they take the order of an 8-top over your party of two. The only reason to ever stiff a server is if they are just an outright dick to you and even then that should be an issue that should be taken up with a manager.

I'm a college student and as such I eat at a lot of inexpensive restaurants.(Think $5 average bill). I have a policy where I don't tip less than $2 even on a $3 bill. I just feel like an asshole if I give 15% of $3 which is 45 cents. That's absurd.

Also, for the most part I can deal with food that's wrong. If I really can't stomach it I'll ask for it to be redone or something else. I'll even offer to pay. It was my dumb self that ordered the curry when I'm not really fond of most curries so I don't expect the additional dish to be free unless it was improperly cooked.

Bernie Wallace

@rafasan: if hes got a worm its just cause to not wanna pay for it or get another...

however, saying that you didnt think it was cooked properly and then eating most it is kinda lame...

i can understand a hair or worm or some other grossness...

urbanturban666

@P_Smith:

Steak killer. Sorry I have a family member that always seems to have problems at the restaurant and I think it is due to the fact i how he chooses to ruin a perfectly good piece of meat. That is of course its going to be dry and like shoe leather when you cook all the juice out of it. Everyone else who gets cooked to a less doneness or orders something else never has a problem. In fact some places finally have posted disclaimers that state if you order to this level we will not be responsible as to the quality.

rjflyn

I had a situation recently at a business lunch where I specifically told the waiter "no mushrooms" and got extra mushrooms instead.

I did not send the food back, but the waiter noticed I had put all the mushrooms to the side, when he came to pick-up the plate. I made a joke about it and ended-up getting the dish for no-charge!

anamika

@Andy Hilal: That is the job.

No, the job is just taking your order, bringing your food, and collecting the bill. When the waitstaff tell you what's in the tuna melt, make substitutions to your order, and are attentive without hovering, that's the extra stuff for which you're supposed to tip.

. I'm terribly fucking sorry if you feel put upon, but for the next 30 minutes to an hour, your goddamn profession is to bring me my food and look after my needs.

When your "needs" are above and beyond the minimum, though, you need to tip. Seriously. Otherwise, you're just expecting a certain amount of service to be donated by your waitstaff. You want to have the menu read to you? Most people don't need that; that's an extra need on your part. Cough up the coin.

Waiters, who do, should be above average.

What, all of them? Above average? L2Math.

crashfrog

PLEASE SEND IT BACK
As a restaurant owner/manager I would much prefer a customer send back their order than leave unhappy. And like one commenter said above, send back the food immediately after you realize it's not right... just don't eat it and complain afterwards.

FOREIGN OBJECTS
Sometimes things make it in the food that shouldn't... I know I'm speaking for every restaurant owner when I say THANK YOU to all the understanding people who don't make a big stink about this. Nobody, be it the owner, chef or server, would every want you to chomp down on a staple from the lettuce box or the hair that somehow fell on the plate. Just tell your server and you're food will be remade happily... and usually we'll even comp your dish as well.

THE BAD SEEDS
Unfortunately a lot of people find ways to take advantage of businesses... they forget that there's a human behind every decision. But since a lot of people do decide to eat their meals and then complain in hopes of getting freebies, it puts management on the defensive. I wish this wasn't the case but it's true...

PLEASE DON'T
Most of the time the customer IS right, but there are some cases where they're flat out wrong.
-please don't steal our sugar, sweet n low, silverware, napkins, etc.
-please don't share refillable sodas... that's stealing
-please don't sit for more than 2 hours and don't forget to order/tip when you host a business meeting at my restaurant
-if your teeth are rotten, please don't blame our fried chicken for being too crispy
-please don't let your kids run and scream down the aisles... our servers are juggling hot food in their hands...
-I could go on... (Thanks LH for letting me get some of that off my chest)

HAPPY EATING!!!

elanakin

@Ferguson1015: Some places warm the plates before putting food on them, although I'm not really sure why.

psychiccheese

@Popstar Dave: Calamari is supposed to be cooked VERY lightly. It's been my experience that most places overcook it, so it has a chewy consistency.

Perhaps you're just used to it being overcooked.

The simplest and most effective solution to poor service is, unfortunately, not always available to the customer: walk away. Unless you're a hermit going into town for a meal or a person with no life, the only time you're likely to be eating alone at a restaurant is at lunchtimes when you usually have little time to complain about bad food or service.

When I say "walk away", I don't mean "eat and leave without paying". I mean make it clear to the manager what they did wrong, and if you ate little or nothing of it, then tell him/her why you refuse to pay. If you touched the drink or appetizer, pay for that but nothing more.

The most egregious situation I ever had while eating alone was (late evening, after work) at a place with a day of the week in its name. I ordered a meal and while waiting for the food, I noticed that two of the three pieces of cutlery were dirty. I pointed it out to a waitress, and she said she would bring me clean ones.

After five more minutes, the food arrived, but the waitress had not. I asked the person bringing the food for new cutlery, and was told he'd bring it. Another five or so minutes passed before I asked a third person, yet still no cutlery after several more minutes. The food was sitting in front of me cold and untouched for upwards of twelve minutes with no utensils in sight, so I got up and walked. What did they expect me to do, use my hands to eat?

The staff and manager were up in arms yelling that I would have to pay for it. I asked why they didn't bring me any utensils, but none gave an answer. I could identify the three individuals whom I had asked, and all of them said, "I forgot". The manager goes on about, "I'll bring you some utensils now," but I said it was too late. They threatened to call the police, and I said go ahead. The policeman took my side when he heard had transpired.

Needless to say, I didn't simply stop eating there myself, I told others not to, and wrote a complaint to their head office.

P_Smith

@tc4001: Regarding your three points:

1. What happens when the waiter fails to relay information, or the cook ignores it? I stopped eating beef at restaurants altogether simply because they would not cook meat thoroughly. Maybe it's where I live, but the concept of "well done" seems to be beyond any of them.

3. Part of the undercooked meat problem is the assembly line attitude of fast food has been picked up by supposedly proper restaurants. I'm perfectly willing to wait patiently for food, never asking "how much longer?" even if I'm waiting 20-odd minutes for properly cooked meat. Unfortunately, most places just seem to want to get another plate out of the kitchen instead of giving the customer what was asked for. Most nowadays don't care about getting it right, they only care about getting it done.

P_Smith

@joe18521: I almost always do briefly explain beforehand. 80% of the time the wait staff doesn't pay any more attention to my order because of it, but at least they have a little more patience for my questions about the menu, and sometimes have a vague recollection when I point out that it's wrong.

About 10% of the time, explaining beforehand gets great suggestions for items I can eat, including things not on the menu. Naturally those are the restaurants I return to most often.

Fabrictramp

@stopNgoBeau: Not at all true. Cooking may alleviate a sensitivity, but it won't affect a true allergy.

Fabrictramp

@guineapirate: It's OK, G'pirate. They have an iPhone app that does this all for them. Then it tells them whether to have sex after dinner, and then, after the conjugal act, it tells them whether the sex was any good. How was life possible before technology?

DangerousLiberal

@four12: You rock! I went to grad school some years ago that would host catered events in their HQ/mansion. I got to know a lot of the waitstaff and kitchen workers, but was usually a guest, along with whatever mucky mucky fund raiser types showed up. A good friend who was serving coffee got the guy's coffee wrong (cream or something) and he made some crack about "unskilled labor." She was finishing a degree in a pretty challenging field; wise-ass was just another dumfu*k real estate developer or golf pro or whatever. I wish I'd grown some ball on the spot. Since then, comments like that don't go unrewarded. So I am very glad you failed to hire this clown.

DangerousLiberal

@urbanturban666: A friend of mine did that... a worm started climbing up his fork when he was about to finish his salad.
He didn't want a new one, he just didn't want to pay for the one that was about to make him throw up

rafasan

More from the no-shit files...

TheLouis

I rarely send food back but probably should some times. It seems like sometimes food is not hot enough - like it's been sitting there waiting for the server to pick it up but they're tardy for whatever reason.
Another thing that bothers me is certain friends that always either want to order off menu or manipulate a dish that's on the menu. I'm not sure, but I bet this drives either the waiter (who has to write it down) or the cook nuts!

TheresAPartyInMyPants

@Kandralla: It could be worse... a friend of mine has been working in a Starbucks in London, and they "pool" the tips, only they don't split among the workers, they just go to benefits with the rest of the money.

Talk about not giving a sh*t about the tip

rafasan

@the_wiggle: It was a restaurant chain, so I guess he would want to do business with people who give a damn how food tastes only

rafasan

@the_wiggle: They assumed that however the food was cooked and prepared, it was "wrong" according to their tastes before taking so much as a bite.

OwenCatherwood

@mlhoward516:

Actually, I've been pleasantly surprised at the good customer service at the 3 different local Applebees that I've been attending.

Jim Helfer

I have never sent a plate back in the US in fear of what might happen in the kitchen, or of making other people at the table uncomfortable.

I usually just leave it and don't come back.

From now on I probably will just start returning stuff.

Actually, I probably never will, I know how to order and am usually the one with the best food at the table.

EditorinChief

@d_Random: really? so you've never been poorly served incorrect, inedible food? ever?
or what - you like it like that? don't mind wasting your $$ & time?

i bust my ass for my $$ doing customer service. i expect to get my $$'s worth when i go out to eat. give me your best efforts as servers, cooks, et al & i'll give you mine as a customer.

screw around & you not only won't get tips, repeat business or good word of mouth; you will be getting management & owners if necessary notified.

golden rule - period.

the_wiggle

@zakany: and make it darn near impossible to stick to "really, it's OK. i just wanted to try a new thing & sometimes new things just don't work out. no freebies or replacements needed."

i like their being nice enough to offer 1x but seriously, stop after 1x. i'm a grown up. i can handle trying a dish that doesn't work out after all :)

the_wiggle

@Erin Cummins:

My gf works at a restaurant here in Chicago and while this sounds good if the restaurant is regularly busy it drains the daily tips a server gets when a restaurant has a slow day. I guess it would depend on the restaurant.

Guitarfool5931

@czetie: judging by this post's comments - apparently.

the_wiggle

i wont send food back just based on the fact that i just assume that its going to end up like the movie "Waiting" i dont want some guys pubes on my steak just because its bloody when i asked for medium

@KidU: and if they do something exceptional - do you tell them? their manager? add a bigger tip?

the_wiggle

@crashfrog: word. the tales my sister a former waitress could tell of jackasses - hair curling & stabby making.

the_wiggle

@theblackdog: what has salting pre-taste have to do with etiquette? some people like a lot of salt & health be darned.

the_wiggle

People send back stuff because they are are negative, complaining a-holes that like bossing people around. They will never learn unless they have an epiphany that they are being selfish jerks. 'nuff said.

d_Random

@NovaGauzer: and hopefully you don't have one of those familiar looking faces!

@Gweedle: this, unfortunately for me, sounds like some of my cheapskate friends when they eat out. These are normally good people, but when dining out they are just waiting for a bad experience or for the server to screw up so they can demand a free meal.

Though one time when eating a wrap from a renowned place I bit down on a chunk of glass - they figure it broke off a bottle from one of the sauces, but they couldn't find it anywhere; regardless they believed me and gave my whole table (8 hungry adults) a free meal. The server got a really good tip and the restaurant got a lot of repeat business.

@AwesomeJerkface:

I see why you chose your name considering the characterization you made about me inspite of supposedly reading what I put in my post.

Note that I said "thus ended the tomato allergy". As in, he no longer has the tomato complaints and has eaten items with uncooked uncooked tomatoes since.

I'll do more research when you practice a little more comprehension and less arrogance.

jupiterthunder

@BrianH:

I had the same thought initially. But I think you'd be shocked how many people fail to understand what most of us see as common sense.

Plus, the comments are pretty fun to read.

joe18521

It's not usually worth the effort unless it's inedible for whatever reason and even then be cautious. I had the unfortunate experience of discovering glass shards in a beer I ordered. I politely and discretely informed the waitress and asked for another beer. A half hour later after being treated like a con artist trying to get a settlement I was informed I would not be charged for the the beer. I mean, WTH? There was GLASS in my beer!

RStormgull

@Fabrictramp:

Wouldn't it save everybody a lot of time and frustration to explain your allergies BEFORE ordering anything at a restaurant? I'm sure the waitstaff would pay extra attention after being warned about possible health risks.

@AwesomeJerkface:

Please calm down.

joe18521

@xsnred: In my experience this doesn't happen as often as people think and is more likely to happen in a lower end restaurant. If you want a good meal that is least likely to get messed with then go to a better restaurant with professional servers. One of the ways to tell the difference is if the servers are on the floor for the most part instead of hiding in the kitchen, or if you eat a place that hires a bunch of kids in order to avoid having to pay for the professionals.

Another way to avoid having your food messed with is if you go on a Friday or Saturday night. It may be busy but restaurants typically put their best staff on these nights and the when the server is busy there is least likely to be any horseplay.

Ferguson1015

@four12: I read an article about an etiquette coach and she told a story of how one of the big gurus who founded a well known restaurant chain would take potential business clients to lunch, and would reject doing business with them if they did not display proper table etiquette, including if the person salted their food before tasting it.

@mlhoward516: Another way to tell if the server or the chef is at fault is if the plate is really warm. This means that the dish has been under the heat lamp for a long time and the server was doing something else, now this could mean that they were helping another customer so don't be too critical about this especially if the place is busy.

Ferguson1015

@OptionalJoystick: A lot of people think that way unfortunately. A lot of servers get paid MUCH less then minimum wage because they are expected to get great tips. For example, I know someone who worked at a red lobster and got paid only $4.25 per hour and was expected to make that up in tips (which they had to claim, and thus got their tips taxed). I used to hate customers would get on their high horse and say I'm not tipping you because you did what you get paid to do.

As to the "waiters have a long memory" comment I can verify that and want to add that most servers won't screw with your food unless you really screw with them. Being a "bad tipper" just guarantees that you will get assigned to the worst server or the newest server.

Ferguson1015

Speaking as a former server in a nice restaurant I can say verify that most servers won't mind taking food back to the kitchen and that the number one reason for any attitude is because the server doesn't want to face the kitchen (they get really mad when you take something back to them!).

Also never ask for the manager to send something back to the kitchen because something wasn't right unless your server is really inept. This is equivalent to telling the server that they can't do their job and that is the most likely reason for any hard feelings/food play/etc...

If something is wrong with your order (especially if it is a custom order) then it is most likely a problem with the communication between the server and the cook (whether a computer system or a ticket) and not the server themselves. Most of those computer systems are either buggy (because they were created by restaurant people trying to program) or don't have adequate options (probably because of programmers who have never been in the restaurant biz).

Also the cook might have just forgot something since they are cooking for several customers at one time, especially if they are on the line (like an assembly line).

Ferguson1015

@zakany:

I don't like food runners either. Some restaurants make it work fine, but most of the time it is horribly inefficient. I waited tables for eight years in various restaurants. Only a couple used food runners (and I pulled plenty of shifts as one). Unless you have multiple runners, food runners actually result in more cold food deliveries because you have only one person running food instead of all the servers running food. Guess what happens when the kitchen throws up several tables all at once? The runner delivers one table, and a customer delays the runner because they want a drink refill or an extra side. Now the runner has to go find the server on the way back to the kitchen. It's much better service if the server is the only person responsible for keeping a table happy.

Now a food "expiditor" is much better. Expeditors don't deliver the food... they just tray it up for the server, make sure everything looks good, and help the server get out big orders.

For what it's worth I never hesitate to send food back if something isn't right, but I always do so discretely and politely. I know that mistakes can happen, and good restaurants will resolve them quickly...sometimes offering a free meal, dessert, or drink. All of the restaurants I worked in would offer a freebie if a customer sent something back that was due to a mistake of the kitchen or the server. A free drink, or even a free meal, is a small price for a restaurant to pay to turn a mistake into a reason for the customer to come back. If the staff are making so many mistakes that such a policy starts costing the restaurant real money, then there is definitely a problem that needs to be addressed by management.

Sean

sean000

@Gweedle:

Reminds me of a time where I was at my local Bennagan's and ordered a steak (shoosh, their steaks like all their food was good :P I miss that place). It came out, smelled of fish, was overdone and wretched. I politely told the waitress about this and she was mortified at the kitchen. I got a new dish lickety-split and it was comped. At that point I decided to one-up her comping (I had expected and had the money on me to pay for the meal) by still putting the cash down for the meal. Probably made her night. :)

mewyn dyner

@VwlsRFrWmps: FWIW, my story was based in Melbourne, Australia.

@tc4001:

re: #2. Or you could ask the waiter the food is like. I've never been to a restaurant where the waitstaff wasn't eating the restaurant's food. If not that, they've usually picked up on a general customer response to a dish.

AwesomeJerkface

@stopNgoBeau:
I would've thought someone who reads LH would use Google. Let me know if you have difficulties using it when you're not sure if something is true or not.

@jupiterthunder:
That doesn't make your friend a liar. Still makes him rude, but not a liar. There are many instances of food allergies where reactions are almost null when the food is cooked.

When you're allergic to milk (not lactose intolerant), bees, or tomatoes, you're allergic to their proteins and not the item as a whole. Tomatoes, like many fruits and vegetables, have proteins that radically changed between raw and cooked (or boiled for hours like pizza sauce).

You're an awesome friend. Doing all the basic research before thinking your friend's lying to you about an allergy. Must be great to know you.

It's especially great because your friend is allergic to tomato, I really feel for him because his body probably reacts to similarly "proteined" fruits and veggies: bell peppers, eggplants, potatoes, squash, et al. No wonder nobody can get his food right: even his friends are jerks.

AwesomeJerkface

5 Second Rule!

SigmundTheSeaMonster

@KidU: Wow, do you have time to eat during your service critique? Do you have to keep a notepad on your table? Just saying, seems like judging your service wouldn't be very relaxing (but I guess going out to eat normally isn't... sort of sad)

guineapirate

I tip 20% standard. If you get less it's because you lost it, not that I didn't give more. If you didn't get 20%, odds are it was knocked to 15%. You have to be really poor to get 10%. I NEVER STIFF A WAITER. The way I see it, the patron comes in because they: don't want to cook, don't want to clean or are too lazy to cook roughly 80% of the time. If that's why you're eating out, then you should have to pay at least the commonly accepted 15% for making someone do what you didn't wan't/were too lazy to do. And if thats the case, stiffing the waitstaff is just crass. IMO of course.

taz20075

Let's put it this way, if you don't have enough to tip, then you don't have enough to go to a table service restaurant. I know it sucks that the system has morphed into this "mandatory tip" mentality, but the fact is it's now expected and must be treated that way. If you don't want to pay the tip, go to a place that has counter service.

This is such a tired discussion.

@four12: How a candidate treated the wait staff at a restaurant was always my final test of whether or not I would hire them. The ones that were cruel or impolite were never hired. I sometimes think it was a better indicator than any other parts of the interview.

@mlhoward516: When I get a cold steak and hot sides, while my dining companion's orders are fine I'm going to blame the chef/cook. But I don't take it personally, and unless you (the chef) is gunning for that next Michelin star, you shouldn't either. You probably aren't being paid enough to care if it gets sent back - just fix it and move on, shit happens.

rte148

@OptionalJoystick: 100% agreed. When my girlfriend and I go out we have a system. We start at a base 10% tip, and then the waiter has to, OMG....EARN the next 10%. Here is how we do it:

- 2% for getting to our table in a timely manner after we are seated.

- 2% for getting drinks in a timely manner after the initial order

- 2% for getting appetizers out before the entree (you wouldn't think this part would be hard...but...)

- 2% for getting the entree out in a timely manner (or at least explaining what is going on if it is lagging on)

- 2% for general waiting (drink refills, bussing appetizer plates, etc.)

And if they do something absurd...0% tip. Sue me, but if you do something awful you are not getting any tip from me.

KidU

@four12: Good for you! Your staff and clients are all probably glad of that.

The American thing of auto-tipping leaves us brits (or at least me and just about everyone I know) aghast. You automatically expect a tip? And you give people a hard time, or even ban them, if they don't? Jeez.
Over here, tipping is for good service, not just for turning up - the restaurant/bar/eatery pays you for that. Good service will bring a good tip. Great service will bring a great tip. Really bad service will get the bill and nothing more (unless it's a complaint).
Having said that, there is no excuse for rudeness to waiters, barstaff, or other servers. Show respect to people whatever job they are doing.
As a customer, never send a meal back for something minor.
If you ever send a meal back make sure that it is for something major and that it is a one-way trip. Be polite about it but firm. The meal goes back, you do not have anything to replace it and you do not pay for it. It's the only way to avoid cock soup.

@four12: Not only should you be polite to your waiter, you should also tip him/her according to his/her performance, and (if there was any adjustment to the bill) according to what the bill would have been.

I particularly like using the phrase "we have a quality control problem." Stated very calmly, it makes it clear to the waiter that you do not see him/her as part of the problem, and that the problem is shared with him/her (the key word being "we").

@Jason Buberel: Yeah. Never return food at a fast food place without being wicked diplomatic. The folks working fast food places aren't paid enough to give a shit. You need to make them like you if you want your food back unscathed. Much better to ask them for a refund.

I will point out one exception, though. There is one particular fast-food item that I order with some regularity, and when I do, I order it with cheese (which it usually doesn't have by default). If I get it to my table and the cheese isn't there, I can usually bring it back up, tell them (again, politely) that they forgot the cheese, and they will usually just add it without any discussion.

The point to all of this, though, is this: fast food or not, be polite.

kc2idf

I recently went to a restaurant and ordered something I haven't had in years: a Monte Cristo sandwich [en.wikipedia.org] .

I specifically asked for no raspberry sauce on the sandwich. Needless to say, it came out with raspberry sauce smothered all over it. The waitress comes out with the sandwich and says:
"Oh they made a bit of a mess with the raspberry sauce. Do you mind?"
Yeah! They put it on! I asked for it WITHOUT it.
"Um, could you take that back and fix it please. If they can get it all off fine, otherwise I would like a new sandwich."
"OK... you would have liked it anyway..." [walks off with sandwich]
A couple of minutes later she comes back out with it. I noticed they got most of it off, even if the sandwich was a bit messed up. Then my fiance noticed something...
THE FLIPPED THE DAMN SANDWICH OVER. They didn't do a damn thing.
I sent it back and told them to make me a new one.

KStrike155

@Erik Pasco: ive worked in the food biz before... i hate it when people do that... especially when they say "oh i didnt really like it"... i did work in ethnic food and we just had to tell em "hey thats a part of trying new things"...

urbanturban666

@Erin Cummins: Order the Okra, though bacon with green beans is a very southern thing.

Major-General

For me it's always the same issue. I'm vegetarian. Always say so and always ask specifically if an item is vegetarian or can be prepared as vegetarian. I send food back when it shows up with bits of animal in it. This is sometimes the effect of some liar removing the bits of animal before serving it to me and missing one or two pieces. What gets me is when I am so icked out I don't even want a replacement. I just want to pay and leave and without asking, they bring me a replacement. Believe me, the trust is gone at that point. I'm not going to be eating it.

Deborah Mancino

The Incredibly Posh People Who Are Still Unaccountably Waiters

Think carefully before you send back any food.

I almost never send back food unless it's inedible. The thing about sending back your food is that you only interact with the waitstaff. Sure he/she might see that you're polite, and sympathize w/ you about your meal. That doesn't mean the cook is going to see it the same way, and there's also a risk of the waitstaff being rude to the cook (or the cook not liking the waitstaff). Basically when you send food back it's out of your control, and you're taking a bigger risk than when you first walked in. How big of risk that is can be debatable, but it does become higher whenever you send it back.

Jr Hawkins

I have never sent back food as far as i remember, but if I ever did, it would be for a serious reason - for example, if it had meat (I'm a vegetarian for religious reasons) or if there was a foreign object that shouldn't be there (bugs, hair, etc). I'd try to be accommodating first - if I'm with meat-eating friends, they can eat the sausage on the side, and if I'm with my dad (who's allergic to walnuts) I'll just swap his walnut-topped cheesecake for my veggies. I can live with cold soup, and since I'm vegetarian I don't have to worry as much about the dangers of undercooked meat (specifically diseases like salmonella).

jennieblue22

@crashfrog: I completely agree with OptionalJoystick. I think, crashfrog, you were trying to paint a picture of unrealistic expectations, but what the hell? That is the job. Is someone supposed to be sorry for bringing a party of 6 into a restaurant, and expecting prompt service? OMG you wanted a refill, you princess? A server should just quit if they have that attitude. I'm terribly fucking sorry if you feel put upon, but for the next 30 minutes to an hour, your goddamn profession is to bring me my food and look after my needs. Seriously. Waiter/customer is not a mutually agreeable transaction between peers. The word is "service." I'm not being draconian, just straight.

Anyway, while I have high expectations, I am also quite forgiving. I may grumble, but my idea of a bad tip for lousy service is 10%. Here is my concept of bad service:

1) Table for 2. Waited for over 10 minutes before we even saw the waiter. When he delivered the dishes, he spun on his heel and was gone before we could say a word. Did not come back for 20 minutes. I had to get up and find him to ask for a refill. Someone else brought it to the table - it was not what I was drinking. Did not see the waiter for another 30 minutes. And I'm supposed to reach into my pocket to throw money at this clown?

2) I asked "what's in the tuna melt?" and she curtly replied "Exactly what is says on the menu." Don't tell me to RTFM, bitch. What's in your fucking tuna melt?

These people got 10%, though they didn't even deserve that. Why am I such a softie? I guess because there's this enormous expectation that tipping is required and to not tip at all is a huge, classist slap in the face offense which will get you banned from the restaurant. I'm sick of it. I expect good service from anyone who's on the job, whether they earn tips or not. Waiters, who do, should be above average.

It's also not true that former waiters are more forgiving. If they were any good at the job, sometimes they have the highest expectations of all.

Andy Hilal

Some of these comments from past servers are surprising -- when I waited tables for a few years, I never saw anyone tampering with dishes, returned or otherwise (upscale casual Italian restaurant). I always thought that was just a movie myth.

As for returning dishes, I have to deal with this from time to time as a vegetarian that receives items with meat in them accidentally. I find it helps when I ask the waiter for recommendations at the beginning of the meal, as this reinforces my specific religious needs for something 100% vegetarian (you'd be surprised how many common dishes have a sauce that uses chicken stock), not to mention helps me find new and interesting things to try.

Ravi K. Udeshi

@VwlsRFrWmps: Most restaurant workers aren't absolute bastards, but it only takes one: the one who fcks with your food.

seiun

@GirafficPark: Or a sea of saliva after you sent it back.

seiun

@le_sacre: I agree. Finish your meal or don't. Then complain to the manager. But don't give the cooks another crack at your food. Because back in the kitchen, where only the cooks are watching, things can get very, very nasty. I speak from long experience.

seiun

This is great advice. Having worked in several restaurants, I can guarantee you that sending your food back is an excellent way to find out what the cook's spit tastes like. At one place where I worked (the pricey Kashmiri Room at the Ambassador Hotel in Minneapolis) the cooks used to drop returned steaks down their pants. Or on the floor. If you want your food cooked right, cook it yourself.

seiun

I either make do with what comes out... if it is edible... or just send it back and ask for nothing. Well, maybe another beer. I don't make a big scene. I just lose my appetite rather quickly.

thelastnamehere

@Gweedle: The last time I went out to eat by myself, I had a table way off in a corner of the outdoor seating area, which wasn't a problem because I was looking forward to a nice quiet meal. The server looked tired, and not particularly interested in waiting on me, but I've worked at jobs where I had to stand on my feet and be nice to people all day so I did my best to be polite to him.

Along came four jackasses and took the next table and proceeded to be loud and rude and spill stuff on the tablecloth and drop the silverware and "joke around" with the server in a way that was really no joke. And THEN they got drunk.

I finished my meal as quickly as possible to get away from them. Usually, I add the tip onto the bill and pay with my debit card, but this time I put a generous tip in cash into the folder. The server made a point of catching me before I got out the door to say thank you. We understood each other just fine.

@wickedcupofjoe: I think the only time I ever really let someone in a restaurant have it was years ago when a friend and I went to a Chinese restaurant, specifically because she had limited time available and their service was ordinarily reliably fast. When it had been nearly an hour and our food had not arrived and the server had offered us nothing but excuses about a "large takeout order" in the kitchen, I demanded the manager. My friend had to leave, getting no dinner, and I was told my meal would be free and I told them it certainly would be, because I was leaving without it. And I did, and never went back.

@Erin Cummins: Maybe you didn't notice that the Cracker Barrel servers southern food?

crashfrog

@OptionalJoystick: My thoughts exactly.

peanut_butter

@VwlsRFrWmps: Cheap restaurants where the employees are simply there for a few weeks/months, maybe a few years at the most, yes those ones are notoriously bad for messing with food. Restaurants where chefs and wait staff are there because it's their career, well, those are the places you can trust.

Tip rate calculator...

Tip well if the service is good. I have been known to still the waiter and generously tip the buss boy, when the waiter ignored us. It was a good restaurant, where our $100 a plate food, should have served us well, not being offloaded to the buss boy.

I don't know what you all consider tips and tipping well, but being a former service employee here's how we did it in Vegas...

25-30% for great service, great food
20% for good service, good food
15% for ok service, ok food
10% for fair service, fair food
$1 for poor service, poor food

You ALWAYS leave a tip, and the $1 should signify that you are tipping - just not well, for bad service.

I think these days, people think 15% or worse, 10% is for great food and service. Just remember that the buss boy, the sous chef, the waiter(ess), and the chef all share a portion of your tips.

@jupiterthunder: Not sure if this is true or not, but a "tomato allergy" friend once told me that once the tomatoes were cooked, as in pizza sauce, there wont be an allergic reaction anymore.

stopNgoBeau

@MrRomero: Unfortunately, waiters and waitresses aren't the only ones who get stiffed by their bosses on wages in Las Vegas, NV. All employees who makes tips get the same treatment, though some such as the bartenders and waitresses do have a union. Dealers on the other hand, no matter what casino they work at get minimum wages + tips. Also, dealers get tipped at 100% of what they make, whereas waitresses, waiters, and bartenders only report a fraction of the amount. Some of the casinos also have the bosses of the dealers get a portion of the dealers tips. It's both good and bad. The Wynn in Las Vegas and Riverside in Laughlin so this.

@four12: This post reminds me of a quote from "Waiting..."

"I guess we should feel some sort of guilt, but she broke the cardinal rule; never fuck with people who handle your food."

Skyman747

@xwildebeestx: Hell Yeah. Someone needs to put Bacon Grease in a condiment bottle and sell it.

seriously though, this comment chain is making me lol.

Skyman747

@Fabrictramp: Have a friend that I hate to go out with b/c his meal is always wrong. Never occurs to him that maybe it's him. Anyway, he used to freak out when tomatoes were put in his food, being rather rude in telling the waiter that he was deathly allergic to them. Then, one day while out for a meal with him, it occurred to me that our large pizza was not sauceless. And thus ended the tomato allergies.

jupiterthunder

@fjpoblam: This is a problem? Hey! That reminds me. Somewhere I got a kids eat free at Olive Garden.

jupiterthunder

Wow, from most of the comments here it would seem that restaurant workers are absolute bastards in the US. I've worked in numerous kitchens in the UK and never messed with food or seem anyone else doing it. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but for most it's not worth the risk of getting fired if caught, and there simply isn't time to do it during busy times.

VwlsRFrWmps

@Gweedle: A good restaurant will replace a meal you don't like with anything on the menu, gratis.

@Steeldrumhero: Nope, different wages. It's actually even different in every province.

In Quebec : 9$/hour or 8$/hour for employees receiving tips.
[www.cnt.gouv.qc.ca]

In Ontario, there is even a different minimum wage for students...
[www.labour.gov.on.ca]

@Chris Garbarino: We have friends that send back ALL the time and I just can't go out to eat with them anymore. It's a running joke when all the guys go out to see what he sends back. But I refuse to eat out with them, even when it's just the 4 of us. It's embarrassing.

I can't think of a time I've sent something back. I have had numerous mistakes made (mostly at our local TGI Fridays) where the cook hasn't made the meal the way it should be (IE the chicken sandwich comes with a special sauce, I've gotten it with none, not by request). If there is sauce on and I didn't want it, I'd just wipe it off rather than risk sending it back. If it's missing something, I usually say something along the lines of, "Is there any way I can get a small amount of X?"

@Erin Cummins: I hate food runners. Who gets this, who gets that? Hire more damn waitstaff.

I eat out a fair bit, and have only rarely had to send things back, and almost always had good reactions from wait-staff. Once, however, I sent back some salt-and-pepper calamari, that turned up with undercooked, doughy and almost glue like batter. The server apologised, took it back to the kitchen, then returned with the same plate, saying that the chef said, "that's what it's supposed to be like".

Either, (a) you're being a dick and you couldn't be bothered to cook the meal correctly a second time, in which case, I don't think I want to eat there again; or (b) you're such a bad cook that you honestly believe that was how it was supposed to be, in which case I don't think I want to eat there again.

I haven't been back, and I've mentioned my experience to quite a few others who are looking for restaurants in the area.

So while I most certainly endorse customers treating wait-staff and chefs with respect, I also request that same respect in return. Otherwise you might find there's quite a bit of bad word-of-mouth floating around about your establishment.

The only time I've ever sent food back is if there's something that makes it inedible (bugs, hair, other disgusting things, or some health risk) If that's not the case, then I don't send it back. I sometimes order my steaks well done and I don't think I've ever received it without any pink. I think the real issue is that peoples expectations are a bit off. If I go to McD's to get a burger, it's not cause I'm expecting a steak dinner, it's cause I'm hungry and it's something I could get fast. Same as if I got to Applebee's I don't expect a filet mignon from Morton's. Could they have cooked the food better? Probably, but the chances are that the guy cooking the food at McD's is a high school kid, and the guy at Applebee's is a college drop out cook. If you want you're food perfectly cooked, and expertly served, then what you need is a chef. And just like in any other profession where you have to pay for someones credentials, you have to do the same in the restaurant industry.

TitaniuIVI

@four12: Reminds me of a nice adage I heard: Never trust a person who's nice to you, but rude to your waiter.

@OptionalJoystick: In many countries the tip is added to the bill, you don't get to not tip for bad service.

Unfortunately the bigger issue is most places now pool their tips, so most waiters don't care if they give good service or not and those that do don't really get any benefit from good tips.

Kandralla

@GirafficPark: This is America, baby, where we use meat as a condiment!

Besides, pork-soaked veggies keeps all the Jews and Ay-Rabs outta the Cracker Barrel!

xwildebeestx

I dunno... I understand that I'm not at Le Bec Fin when I hit the neighborhood Applebees, but I also expect my pasta not to taste like garbage either. Generally when I eat out I get food that I've had before. Simple things that are difficult to mess up. Steak, potatoes, pasta, veggies, etc. Occasionally if I'm out at a place that has a good rating, or I've been before and trust, or know the chef/management, I'll order something new and exciting.

That said, when I do order these simple meals, I know what they should taste like. Fettuccine Alfredo should taste a certain way, and if the pasta is overdone and the sauce has no flavor I'm going to send it back. You could look at it like that's a kitchen error, or you could look at it like a recipe problem. Either way, I don't want to pay for food that isn't good.

If you're as polite about sending food back that was prepared improperly, has foreign objects in it or isn't what you ordered as you are about sending food back or asking not to pay for food that you just don't like, the server shouldn't take any more offense to it. They didn't make the food, nor come up with the recipe. If you don't like it after a couple of bites, tell them and they normally don't have a problem taking it off the bill and offering a replacement. In a rare case they may go get the manager. I've never felt like a douche doing this.

DeeJayQueue

@Erin Cummins: Mmm...bacon.

Con Seannery

Is this the premiere episode of "The Common Sense Channel"?

I hope someone @ Lifehacker is dating the woman who did the narration, otherwise I'm at a loss what value this video provides, let alone why it's featured on this site.

@Jason Buberel: Someone is suing a McD's right now because he sent a burger back (can't remember why, possibly cold?) and his replacement had been dipped in bleach. So, one chemical burn in the mouth later, he's suing.

FourInchHeels

Here was a pet peeve I had when I was a waiter. If you're going to send food back or complain about it, please don't east 80% or more of it first. We know you're just trying to get a free meal :)

Erik Pasco

@GirafficPark: don't eat at the Cracker Barrel. All the veggies have meat in them. Want some green beans? Here's your bacon soaked greens that are actually browns! You wanted a side of bacon with that right?

Erin Cummins

@mlhoward516: the best restaurants I ever worked in had designated food runners. They were usually bus boys on rotation and got paid min. wage plus a percentage of all the servers tips (just like the bus boys, bartenders, hostess, etc). Their entire job was just to run food out when the server wasn't around. That left us with plenty of time to refill drinks, greet newly seated guests, and check up on our tables more frequently. I don't know why more restaurants don't have them

Erin Cummins

@MrRomero: Which kind of makes a mockery of "Minimum wage" really.

@crashfrog: I'm not American, so this stuff isn't drummed in to me from birth. Pay for service staff is bad here too, but I know there was talk of making tips actually Tips instead of Getting Customers To Pay Your Staff's Wages Through Kindness And/Or A Sense Of Requirement.

@jcrockerman: Lies, that's just a tiny viola!

OptionalJoystick

apart from basic politeness and civility, i think one rule we'd all do well to follow is this:

if you're put in the position of having to send a dish back a second time, simply leave and take your business elsewhere.

i almost never send anything back, but at a fancy pizza joint where we had requested the pizza without meat, of course as a vegetarian i insisted they take it back and honor my request. what they brought back to us clearly had had some meat pieces picked off the top, but still had plenty of meat in the cheese. we did wind up eating what they brought us for the third try, but i very much wish we'd just left.

@MrRomero:
In Canada, you make minimum wage (or higher) plus tips.
There's one minimum wage for every job, whether you get tipped or not

Steeldrumhero

@Gweedle: I agree completely. If they get it wrong, say so. If you just don't care for it - too bad.

Jason Buberel

@Chris Garbarino: The best way out of these situations is just to smile and nod, then vow to never return to that restaurant. The best complaint you can ever make is by not spending your money there in the future. There are too many deserving restaurants out there.

Jason Buberel

Say what you will, but as a former restaurant employee I have seen too much food playing, especially with food that is sent back to the kitchen. I simply don't eat what I have ordered if it is not cooked right and go home and have a sandwich. And you are right, servers remember bad tippers and they relay that to the cook. In Utopia, there is a monitor on each table with closed circuit cameras fixed on the kitchen and it's employees. Better yet, the cook can wear a camera on his forehead so you can see which plate his sweat falls on. To those who say this is brutal, well, it happens all the time. Have a good meal and tip well!

xsnred

@four12: 'Thumb in soup' is the last of your worries. I spent a few summers working the grill at a Wendy's. When someone brought their food back complaining about 'too much ketchup' or 'can i get more pickles' they were lucky to escape with just inappropriate touching.

Jason Buberel

@four12: Kudos to you for insisting on civility in the people you hire!

Jason Buberel

I am very glad that the video specifies that if the food just isn't what you like, just suck it up. As a server, one of my biggest pet peeves (albeit, one of many) is when people want something sent back or taken off their bill because they just don't like it or it "wasn't what they were expecting."

It also really isn't difficult to be nice to the server when requesting this, they really have very little do with how the food is cooked. I've had someone very very nicely send a salad back that had a *grasshopper* in it, and had people very rudely ask me to have their food taken back due to it being slightly overcooked. The graciousness of the girl requesting the new salad, got her a new salad, a free drink, and the salad taken off her bill.

@OptionalJoystick: Not that there's a date, per se, but when wait staff make less than minimum wage due to the fact that they're "tipped" employees, then tipping is less of a kind gesture to the wait staff, and more along the lines of: thanks, restaurant... now you don't have to pay your employee as much.

At least in NY, where employers are required to make up a tipped employees wages up to minimum wage per week.

MrRomero

I've sent dishes back twice in the past month because the restaurant added pork and bacon to dishes that wouldn't normally be expected to have them (one was fish and the other was pasta) and it wasn't described in the menu. Maybe I should have asked about the pasta, but I never dreamed that my fish would come floating in on a sea of pig flesh.

GirafficPark

@OptionalJoystick: Yeah, it was the point when people like you began considering excellent service "performing adequately." I mean, you came in with six of your friends, gave an incredibly complex order, expected to be served in the same time as the couple the next table over, expected your beverages to never run dry and the coffee to always be hot and fresh, expected the server to be instantly available for refills and dessert orders but not hover over your table or interrupt your conversation - and you tipped 15% because that's the established minimum for "adequate" service. Or, worse - you tipped 2 dollars on a $120 bill because that's what tips were like in 1965.

crashfrog

@OptionalJoystick: Couldn't have said it better myself.

I have several food allergies, so I have a lot of experience with sending food back. My MO is to be very nice, even apologetic, but to explain that I ordered the dish a certain way because of my allergies and I really can not eat the wrong thing that they brought me. If I get a good reaction from the waitstaff (and a correct item), I make sure to thank them and leave a very generous tip. (I also do this if my order winds up being complicated and they get it spot on the first time.)

Fabrictramp

As a father of a chef I have seen him send back a meal telling the sever what was wrong with it (politely) and having it done the way he wanted. And as mlhoward516 said go to finer restaurants and your food won't sit under the warmer.

RodrigoPolecat

@fjpoblam:
Moral of the story: dont eat peas :)

agour

@OptionalJoystick: *rubs fingers together* this the world's smallest violin.

jcrockerman

Is there a noted date when tipping in America went from "Thank you, you've done an unusually excellent job, here is a reward." to "Congratulations, you have adequately performed the thing you are paid- albeit poorly- to do. Here is an undefined amount of extra money. Thank you for not peeing in my soup, assuming you haven't." ?

OptionalJoystick

Just partially kidding but, be careful when sending food back at restaurants where you're good buddies with the waiters, chefs, and managers. As a token of their good will, they may give you extra large servings of the replaced dish, plus free desserts, plus other items leading to that overstuffed feeling. (It's happened to us more than once...)

A lot of people's conflicts on any given day would go away if they just remembered that there are times that they are the "server" and times that they are the "served". That waiter you're giving a hard time to at 8pm? At 8am tomorrow he's your customer and you're serving him. Is it so hard to treat everybody with the same courtesy you'd expect when your roles reverse?

czetie

@tc4001: Wow! That TN law must make for a quickly filled garbage can: mean, if my bowl of peas in a large restaurant is slightly cooled between the time it gets from the chef across the 50 yards to my table, it has to be carted all the way 50 yards, tossed, recooked, and try again?? I might never get that bowl o'peas!

As a chef, I hate send backs. Mainly I hate them because it's usually not my fault. In the back of the house, we get orders in, fire them, plate, and place them under a warmer. It's up to your server to get them out from under the warmer and to you quickly. The warmer will overcook any vegetables on the plate, and does really weird things with meat. Wonder why the steak is cold, but has the proper appearance of medium-rare? Blame your server. Sure we mess things up sometimes, especially when you've got 200 people in the restaurant. Go to nice restaurants and it doesn't happen nearly as much because we have a standard for our wait staff. Go to Applebee's and good luck getting it all just right.

mlhoward516

I'm not sure I understand/agree with the "don't send anything back if it is a business meal". I'm sure it is a blanket statement and in general, yeah, just suck it up and deal with it, but if the meal is truly inedible or a health risk, send it back.

I would look more favorably on a person who could properly execute that type of transaction than someone who would just sit there and not fix the problem. See my previous comment as well about how to act at a business meal.

four12

@four12: it'll probably be the chef's "other" thumb :P

atomicrabbit

My friends all yell at me because I'm most likely to send food back at a restaurant. I thought I was doing it the best way possible, but now I see theres still more room to be polite. The tip to never send food back when your on a business meeting extends to a date or just someone you don't know that well. You don't want to give off the wrong impression.

Chris Garbarino

1. As a 15-plus year vet of the restaurant industry, I applaud people like four12 above who have an understanding of how a restaurant works. Your server is a relayer of information between your table and the kitchen.

2. Know what you're ordering -- read the menu and the description of the menu items or simply ask your server to describe the ingredients and preparation of the food. If you do not like onions, or any other such item, simply ask for it to be omitted from the recipe.

3. Understand that in certain states, like Tennessee, once food has been taken from a table the only place it can be taken is to the garbage. There is technically no throwing of a under-done steak back onto the grill -- a fresh one must be cooked. Like your 16 oz. ribeye well done? It's going to take some time.

It should also be pointed out that if you are a bad tipper, you should never go to the same restaurant twice. Waiters and waitresses have GREAT memories when it comes to getting stiffed. Your food/drink will be messed with if you come back after stiffing a tip or greatly undertipping. If you find yourself unable to tip what you would normally - but don't have the cash on hand (would seem odd - but I guess it could happen) then explain to the server what's going on. Promise to come back and make it up to them. God help the poor fools that are rude to servers. They've clearly never worked a day in their servers' shoes.

NovaGauzer

I wish there was an 'edit comment' feature.

Anyways, I didn't hire a person after taking him to lunch as part of the job interview. He was a great candidate and was technically sound, but he was a complete ass to the waitress and made fun of the fact that she was struggling to get his order right.

He went from "you're hired" to the shred pile instantly.

four12

The most important things are to be polite and treat your server like a human being. Being rude (even inadvertently) to a server is one of the worst things you can do in a restaurant. They are the person who will convey your wishes to the chef, and if they are upset/feel slighted/etc, the chef will get that message and your food will suffer. At the very least, you risk the "thumb in the soup" situation... yuck.

four12

@elanakin:
-please don't share refillable sodas... that's stealing

So is it stealing to order a single meal or a single appetizer of nachos and share that with one other person? I think that's just you being greedy, honestly. I'll willing to buy my own separate meal and drink, but often times couples like to share food or drink.

But the main thing is sometimes two people simply do not plan on eating two meals or drinking two drinks between them, and they know this, so why waste their money?